Brown 1988
Princeton vs. Brown
October 1st, 1988
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and Gentlemen, this halftime show is either about the impact of the falling dollar on the bond market, or silly new things happening on campus — you decide.
“Princeton Forward”
The word “Princeton,” as we all know, comes from the Latin “Princetonienses,” meaning, “to cover with scaffolding.” Lately, Princeton has been living up to its name. Take for example, Edwards Hall, now undergoing its 49th facelift in as many years. As residents of Edwards can attest, jackhammers do not have snooze buttons, and before 7am, trucks seem to go only one way — backwards. (Band “beeps” and backs up.) Forming that sandblaster outside your window at 5am, the Band plays the theme song of Princeton’s construction.
“Rock Around the Clock” (Band forms a sandblaster)
Perhaps you’ve noticed that the grass from Blair Courtyard is now sitting happily in Wilson College. Did it migrate there? No; it’s all part of the University’s new residential college grass rotation plan. In an effort to conserve precious grass seed, the University has decided to rotate its four healthy lawns among the five residential college courtyards. If all goes well, Blair Courtyard should have its grass back by the Spring of 1990. In a related program, the very grass on which we are now standing once covered the pit next to the Woodrow Wilson School. Forming a frozen clod of dirt on the field, the Band pays a musical tribute to Blair Courtyard.
“Another One Bites the Dust”
Grass isn’t the only green in short supply at Princeton. Take the University’s newly-discovered one million dollar deficit. Please. No, really. I wonder where that money went. We thought only Ronald Reagan or the USG could lose that much dough. Just how expensive is that FunTak anyways? Does it cost as much as a nifty new kiosk? We tried to reach Dean Lowe for his comments, but he was on an extended leave…in Brazil. The University blames its deficit on cost overruns from the Firestone Library addition. Forming a seemingly endless coffee break on the field, the Band salutes Princeton’s construction workers: never before have so many been paid for so long to do so little, so slowly.
“Baby Elephant Walk” (Band forms mug of coffee — level of coffee rises and falls)
One thing that the University certainly didn’t waste any time on was creating the new Pass/D/Fail policy. Picture, this Band. You’re sitting in the balcony of Abnormal Psychology, dozing off during the slide show. You thought you were safe. After all, it’s a Pass/Fail. (Band forms a ‘P’) Oh no, Band! You got a sixty-nine on the final, and you know what that means… (‘P’ becomes a ‘D’ as trombones play “Waa, waa, waa, waaaghh”) Forming the newest option on the University’s academic menu, the Band kisses its Rhodes Scholarship goodbye.
“Wipeout”
And in case you thought we forgot, most experts agree that the falling dollar should have little or no effect on the bond market.
October 1st, 1988
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and Gentlemen, this halftime show is either about the impact of the falling dollar on the bond market, or silly new things happening on campus — you decide.
“Princeton Forward”
The word “Princeton,” as we all know, comes from the Latin “Princetonienses,” meaning, “to cover with scaffolding.” Lately, Princeton has been living up to its name. Take for example, Edwards Hall, now undergoing its 49th facelift in as many years. As residents of Edwards can attest, jackhammers do not have snooze buttons, and before 7am, trucks seem to go only one way — backwards. (Band “beeps” and backs up.) Forming that sandblaster outside your window at 5am, the Band plays the theme song of Princeton’s construction.
“Rock Around the Clock” (Band forms a sandblaster)
Perhaps you’ve noticed that the grass from Blair Courtyard is now sitting happily in Wilson College. Did it migrate there? No; it’s all part of the University’s new residential college grass rotation plan. In an effort to conserve precious grass seed, the University has decided to rotate its four healthy lawns among the five residential college courtyards. If all goes well, Blair Courtyard should have its grass back by the Spring of 1990. In a related program, the very grass on which we are now standing once covered the pit next to the Woodrow Wilson School. Forming a frozen clod of dirt on the field, the Band pays a musical tribute to Blair Courtyard.
“Another One Bites the Dust”
Grass isn’t the only green in short supply at Princeton. Take the University’s newly-discovered one million dollar deficit. Please. No, really. I wonder where that money went. We thought only Ronald Reagan or the USG could lose that much dough. Just how expensive is that FunTak anyways? Does it cost as much as a nifty new kiosk? We tried to reach Dean Lowe for his comments, but he was on an extended leave…in Brazil. The University blames its deficit on cost overruns from the Firestone Library addition. Forming a seemingly endless coffee break on the field, the Band salutes Princeton’s construction workers: never before have so many been paid for so long to do so little, so slowly.
“Baby Elephant Walk” (Band forms mug of coffee — level of coffee rises and falls)
One thing that the University certainly didn’t waste any time on was creating the new Pass/D/Fail policy. Picture, this Band. You’re sitting in the balcony of Abnormal Psychology, dozing off during the slide show. You thought you were safe. After all, it’s a Pass/Fail. (Band forms a ‘P’) Oh no, Band! You got a sixty-nine on the final, and you know what that means… (‘P’ becomes a ‘D’ as trombones play “Waa, waa, waa, waaaghh”) Forming the newest option on the University’s academic menu, the Band kisses its Rhodes Scholarship goodbye.
“Wipeout”
And in case you thought we forgot, most experts agree that the falling dollar should have little or no effect on the bond market.
