Lehigh 1985
Lehigh at Princeton
September 28th, 1985
Princeton loses 34-13
(The Band marches out in a precision manner to a fancy cadence. Marching down the fifty yard line in two lines, the Band branches off and forms a block formation in the center of the field. Band marks time until formation is complete. Drum Major high-steps through the center of the formation to the front of the field, and salutes the home crowd.)
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the New Princeton University Precision Marching Band, World Renowned for its High Stepping Sonic Glory. (pause) Unfortunately, due to construction delays imposed by the State Planning Board, the precision portion of our show has been delayed indefinitely. (Drum Major falls down)
(Band marches in random directions playing “Princeton Forward”)
The Princeton Band would like to welcome the Class of 1989. Arriving on campus, freshmen found that many traditions had been abandoned. The writing sample was scratched from the Freshman Week schedule, and cleverly concealed proctors were posted to prevent pilfering of Princeton’s precious prize, The Clapper. Although unable to mount Nassau Hall and snatch the Clapper, the Freshmen were able to snatch their mummies’ credit cards, thus enriching their education while impoverishing their parents. By graduation, these students will no longer be “Like a Virgin” in the “Material World.”
“Material Girl” (Band forms ’89 then changes to $$)
While the Freshmen are busy climbing the social ladder, other things are also rising on campus. Feinberg Hall, towering over the campus, will satisfy the needs for entering freshmen for years to come. When finally completed, these hi-rise freshmen will be able to savor the unique spectacle of the new Molecular Biology Building, Princeton’s first building designed with MacPaint. Commonly mistaken for an argyle sock, Mr. Venturi’s latest erector set nightmare surpasses all his previous handiwork. Inspired by a bowl of Wheat Chex, this landlocked steamship is lavishly equipped with bay doors, conveniently located on the third floor. While the MacBio Building nears completion, anticipation mounts among frustrated residents of yet another building. The Edwards 74 are anxiously awaiting the day when they can finally come out of the closet, the kitchen, and their friend’s living room. When will Edwards construction finally be complete? The Band has a good idea.
“Deck The Halls” (Band forms a Christmas Tree, complete with trimmings, lights, and star)
Speaking of frustrating delays, take the American Judicial System. Please. No, really. Sixteen years after women were allowed to enter Princeton, the three male eating clubs are finally being challenged. Frankly, we think it’s about time. But until the recent court ruling is enforced, the Band must resort to guerilla tactics. Anticipating a close shave in court, the Band sallies forth and attempts to join an all-male club.
“Gillette Look Sharp Theme” (Band forms a moustache)
But the real question on the minds of Princetonians young and old is, “Can the 1985 Tigers get the job done?” The Princeton Band says “Yes.” And with their talent, drive and spirit, the Tigers are surely on the road to #1.
“Cannon Song” (Band forms #1)
September 28th, 1985
Princeton loses 34-13
(The Band marches out in a precision manner to a fancy cadence. Marching down the fifty yard line in two lines, the Band branches off and forms a block formation in the center of the field. Band marks time until formation is complete. Drum Major high-steps through the center of the formation to the front of the field, and salutes the home crowd.)
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the New Princeton University Precision Marching Band, World Renowned for its High Stepping Sonic Glory. (pause) Unfortunately, due to construction delays imposed by the State Planning Board, the precision portion of our show has been delayed indefinitely. (Drum Major falls down)
(Band marches in random directions playing “Princeton Forward”)
The Princeton Band would like to welcome the Class of 1989. Arriving on campus, freshmen found that many traditions had been abandoned. The writing sample was scratched from the Freshman Week schedule, and cleverly concealed proctors were posted to prevent pilfering of Princeton’s precious prize, The Clapper. Although unable to mount Nassau Hall and snatch the Clapper, the Freshmen were able to snatch their mummies’ credit cards, thus enriching their education while impoverishing their parents. By graduation, these students will no longer be “Like a Virgin” in the “Material World.”
“Material Girl” (Band forms ’89 then changes to $$)
While the Freshmen are busy climbing the social ladder, other things are also rising on campus. Feinberg Hall, towering over the campus, will satisfy the needs for entering freshmen for years to come. When finally completed, these hi-rise freshmen will be able to savor the unique spectacle of the new Molecular Biology Building, Princeton’s first building designed with MacPaint. Commonly mistaken for an argyle sock, Mr. Venturi’s latest erector set nightmare surpasses all his previous handiwork. Inspired by a bowl of Wheat Chex, this landlocked steamship is lavishly equipped with bay doors, conveniently located on the third floor. While the MacBio Building nears completion, anticipation mounts among frustrated residents of yet another building. The Edwards 74 are anxiously awaiting the day when they can finally come out of the closet, the kitchen, and their friend’s living room. When will Edwards construction finally be complete? The Band has a good idea.
“Deck The Halls” (Band forms a Christmas Tree, complete with trimmings, lights, and star)
Speaking of frustrating delays, take the American Judicial System. Please. No, really. Sixteen years after women were allowed to enter Princeton, the three male eating clubs are finally being challenged. Frankly, we think it’s about time. But until the recent court ruling is enforced, the Band must resort to guerilla tactics. Anticipating a close shave in court, the Band sallies forth and attempts to join an all-male club.
“Gillette Look Sharp Theme” (Band forms a moustache)
But the real question on the minds of Princetonians young and old is, “Can the 1985 Tigers get the job done?” The Princeton Band says “Yes.” And with their talent, drive and spirit, the Tigers are surely on the road to #1.
“Cannon Song” (Band forms #1)
