San Diego 2004
Princeton at San Diego
September 25th, 2004
Princeton wins 24-17
Pregame
The Band did not perform a pregame show because USD Athletics did not give us any time at pregame.
Halftime
Swerving onto the field like a New Jersey driver, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Forward”
So we were marching down the San Andreas Fault on the way down here, and we found a suspicious-looking Terminator lunchbox… filled with explosives. This can only mean one thing: Arnold Schwarzenegger is formulating a diabolical plot to detonate several key points along the fault line, thus separating a huge portion of California from the mainland, which the Governator himself will rule as dictator for life. Also in the lunchbox were a greasy napkin, a wienerschnitzel sandwich, and plans explicitly detailing the future government of the People’s Republic of Schwarzenigeria. The budget crisis will be resolved by merging the police department and the kindergarten teachers’ union. No longer having a land border with Mexico, Schwarzenigeria will have to turn to washed-up Hollywood actors as a source of cheap labor. There will be national days of observance on The Sixth Day, The End Of Days, and Judgment Day. Saluting our hosts, the Band forms the national flag of Schwarzenigeria and plays its new anthem.
(Band forms the Schwarzenigerian flag, with a bicep and a barbell crossed like a hammer and sickle and plays “Ride of the Valkyrie”)
Evil mastermind schemes aside, we’re having a good time visiting California. It’s nice to be far away from New Jersey, with all its smog and traffic [cut: and illegal immigrants] and preppy clothing. In fact, we’ve decided to stay here in California. Here are some reasons why.
But the real reason we’re staying in California is because we don’t have enough money for the return flight. As we form the one thing we “Can’t Get Enough” of, the Band would like to thank the generous alumni who made this trip possible.
(Band forms a dollar sign and plays “Can’t Get Enough”)
Run away, Band! It’s the Mexicans, and they want their country back.
September 25th, 2004
Princeton wins 24-17
Pregame
The Band did not perform a pregame show because USD Athletics did not give us any time at pregame.
Halftime
Swerving onto the field like a New Jersey driver, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Forward”
So we were marching down the San Andreas Fault on the way down here, and we found a suspicious-looking Terminator lunchbox… filled with explosives. This can only mean one thing: Arnold Schwarzenegger is formulating a diabolical plot to detonate several key points along the fault line, thus separating a huge portion of California from the mainland, which the Governator himself will rule as dictator for life. Also in the lunchbox were a greasy napkin, a wienerschnitzel sandwich, and plans explicitly detailing the future government of the People’s Republic of Schwarzenigeria. The budget crisis will be resolved by merging the police department and the kindergarten teachers’ union. No longer having a land border with Mexico, Schwarzenigeria will have to turn to washed-up Hollywood actors as a source of cheap labor. There will be national days of observance on The Sixth Day, The End Of Days, and Judgment Day. Saluting our hosts, the Band forms the national flag of Schwarzenigeria and plays its new anthem.
(Band forms the Schwarzenigerian flag, with a bicep and a barbell crossed like a hammer and sickle and plays “Ride of the Valkyrie”)
Evil mastermind schemes aside, we’re having a good time visiting California. It’s nice to be far away from New Jersey, with all its smog and traffic [cut: and illegal immigrants] and preppy clothing. In fact, we’ve decided to stay here in California. Here are some reasons why.
- We’d rather get our flesh eaten off by sharks than by acid rain
- We really, really don’t want to go through Oklahoma again
- We hate a cappella groups
- We like our beaches hypodermic-needle-free
- We prefer to have a Governor who doesn’t molest people while he’s in office
- We’re sick of having a reliable power supply
- We prefer In-N-Out Burger to White Castle
But the real reason we’re staying in California is because we don’t have enough money for the return flight. As we form the one thing we “Can’t Get Enough” of, the Band would like to thank the generous alumni who made this trip possible.
(Band forms a dollar sign and plays “Can’t Get Enough”)
Run away, Band! It’s the Mexicans, and they want their country back.
