Yale 1986
Princeton vs. Yale
November 15th, 1986
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at the creation of life.
“Princeton Forward”
In the beginning, there was no life — only soup. Primordial soup. Green, slimy, oozing; you know, like the soup you had last night for dinner. Then there was life, but nothing more then slime molds, like the desert you also had last night. Billions and billions of years later, this evolved into Primatus Africanus, which had a tail, and Homo Yaliensis, which had none. With no backbone and only marginal intelligence, this pitiful creature did not stand a chance against a superior being, like Homo Princetoniensis. Forming a Big Three championship on the field, the Band reminds you that without evolutionary dead ends, Yale itself would be impossible.
“National Emblem” (Band forms ‘hPy’)
Some people reject Darwin’s evolutionist theories religiously. Granting equal time, the Band presents the creationist view: On the first day God created the heavens and the earth, and boy were his arms tired. One of God’s greatest creations was beer, the crutch of collegiate life. Another was the creation of yeast, which allowed the miracle of fermentation. Of course, our favorite miracle was when he parted the foam from the beer, and there was much rejoicing. Unfortunately, during this revelry God also created New Haven, for at the time it seemed like a good idea. Awakening on the morning of the seventh day, God asked, “I created what?” Forming Alka Seltzer on the field, the Band offers you sobering relief from New Haven.
“Virgn de la Macarena” (Band forms two tablets)
And now, the Band takes an up-close and personal, microscopic look at life itself. Meet Joe Gamete, an ordinary cell just like you and me. Joe works for a huge bureaucratic organism that he doesn’t understand. For entertainment, Joe likes to hang out at the gene pool and drop nucleic acids with his mutant friends. He also frequents single-cell bars in search of a dominant gaMATE who looks great in membrane-tight designer genes. Forming Joe’s last recourse for disseminating his genes on the field, the Band buds.
“Bud Theme” (Band forms cell, and then buds) Omnes Exeunt.
November 15th, 1986
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at the creation of life.
“Princeton Forward”
In the beginning, there was no life — only soup. Primordial soup. Green, slimy, oozing; you know, like the soup you had last night for dinner. Then there was life, but nothing more then slime molds, like the desert you also had last night. Billions and billions of years later, this evolved into Primatus Africanus, which had a tail, and Homo Yaliensis, which had none. With no backbone and only marginal intelligence, this pitiful creature did not stand a chance against a superior being, like Homo Princetoniensis. Forming a Big Three championship on the field, the Band reminds you that without evolutionary dead ends, Yale itself would be impossible.
“National Emblem” (Band forms ‘hPy’)
Some people reject Darwin’s evolutionist theories religiously. Granting equal time, the Band presents the creationist view: On the first day God created the heavens and the earth, and boy were his arms tired. One of God’s greatest creations was beer, the crutch of collegiate life. Another was the creation of yeast, which allowed the miracle of fermentation. Of course, our favorite miracle was when he parted the foam from the beer, and there was much rejoicing. Unfortunately, during this revelry God also created New Haven, for at the time it seemed like a good idea. Awakening on the morning of the seventh day, God asked, “I created what?” Forming Alka Seltzer on the field, the Band offers you sobering relief from New Haven.
“Virgn de la Macarena” (Band forms two tablets)
And now, the Band takes an up-close and personal, microscopic look at life itself. Meet Joe Gamete, an ordinary cell just like you and me. Joe works for a huge bureaucratic organism that he doesn’t understand. For entertainment, Joe likes to hang out at the gene pool and drop nucleic acids with his mutant friends. He also frequents single-cell bars in search of a dominant gaMATE who looks great in membrane-tight designer genes. Forming Joe’s last recourse for disseminating his genes on the field, the Band buds.
“Bud Theme” (Band forms cell, and then buds) Omnes Exeunt.