Brown 1973
Brown at Princeton
November 3rd, 1973
Princeton loses 6-7
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at lunchmeat.
“Princeton Forward”
First the Band rests its weary feet beneath the sign of the fallen arches. It has recently been made public that McDonald’s has surpassed the 12 billion mark in hamburger sales, and, to celebrate, killed their second cow. In an exclusive interview with the Xavier Lax, purchaser of the 12 billionth hamburger, the Band queried, “How did you find your meet?” Lax replied, “I lifted up my pickle and there it was.” Noting that McDonald’s was one of the few restaurants unaffected by the recent meat shortage, the Band asks, “What’s your beef?” and answers musically with “The Horse.”
“The Horse”
Passing on to our next piece of lunchmeat, the Band bites into Otto Kerner, former governor of Illinois, Brown class of 1930. Otto first captured the public imagination at the precocious age of 5 1/2 when he copped the Boy Scout’s elusive silver beaver award by helping his first old lady cross a six-lane divided highway. After an outstanding undergraduate career at Brown, Otto was admitted to the Illinois Bar in 1934 and put behind the Illinois’ bars in 1968. Forming a brown-out in the legal profession, the Band salutes this fine example of “Brown in The Nation’s Service,” and overhears Otto’s lament.
“What Kind of Fool Am I”
Speaking of meat-packing, the Band salutes that Mary Poppins of the meat world, that winsome man selling tin-canned ham, the Princeton weenie man. Like Princeton’s postmen who deliver the meat whether it’s “chile today or hot tamale,” the weenie man delivers his meaty wares outside the dorms and (pause) under the stairs. Many weenie men have gone on to even greater fame, and at least two, Justice Frank Furter and Chief Justice Warren “Whopper” Burger have warmed their buns in the Supreme Court. Forming
a) a 1000% pure meat weenie
b) a mustard stain, or
c) the newest addition to Princeton’s modern sculpture collection,
the Band notes the approach of colder weather and warns our favorite weenie man that “It’s never to early to try snow tires and to add anti-freeze to the sauerkraut.”
“Jingle Bells”
November 3rd, 1973
Princeton loses 6-7
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at lunchmeat.
“Princeton Forward”
First the Band rests its weary feet beneath the sign of the fallen arches. It has recently been made public that McDonald’s has surpassed the 12 billion mark in hamburger sales, and, to celebrate, killed their second cow. In an exclusive interview with the Xavier Lax, purchaser of the 12 billionth hamburger, the Band queried, “How did you find your meet?” Lax replied, “I lifted up my pickle and there it was.” Noting that McDonald’s was one of the few restaurants unaffected by the recent meat shortage, the Band asks, “What’s your beef?” and answers musically with “The Horse.”
“The Horse”
Passing on to our next piece of lunchmeat, the Band bites into Otto Kerner, former governor of Illinois, Brown class of 1930. Otto first captured the public imagination at the precocious age of 5 1/2 when he copped the Boy Scout’s elusive silver beaver award by helping his first old lady cross a six-lane divided highway. After an outstanding undergraduate career at Brown, Otto was admitted to the Illinois Bar in 1934 and put behind the Illinois’ bars in 1968. Forming a brown-out in the legal profession, the Band salutes this fine example of “Brown in The Nation’s Service,” and overhears Otto’s lament.
“What Kind of Fool Am I”
Speaking of meat-packing, the Band salutes that Mary Poppins of the meat world, that winsome man selling tin-canned ham, the Princeton weenie man. Like Princeton’s postmen who deliver the meat whether it’s “chile today or hot tamale,” the weenie man delivers his meaty wares outside the dorms and (pause) under the stairs. Many weenie men have gone on to even greater fame, and at least two, Justice Frank Furter and Chief Justice Warren “Whopper” Burger have warmed their buns in the Supreme Court. Forming
a) a 1000% pure meat weenie
b) a mustard stain, or
c) the newest addition to Princeton’s modern sculpture collection,
the Band notes the approach of colder weather and warns our favorite weenie man that “It’s never to early to try snow tires and to add anti-freeze to the sauerkraut.”
“Jingle Bells”
