Brown 2003
Princeton at Brown
October 18th, 2003
Princeton wins 34-14
Pregame
Note: This pregame show was performed with the Brown band. Their parts are in parentheses.
(The year is 1928. The stock market is soaring. Things will be happy and wonderful forever, just like the Brown Band.)
(Band runs on field and then plays “Cannon” without repeat)
(In our mutual search for the truth about the Depression, the bands turned to Fox News, home of the truth. We learned that the crash was caused by the Democrats’ tax-and-spend policies, and the dust storms were nothing more than a foreshadowing of Clinton’s affair. Coming together to form Bill O’Reilly’s gigantic head, the bands will salute our hero with NFL on Fox.)
(Bands form football, play NFL on Fox. Note: We did not have an arrangement of NFL on Fox, so we stayed in our lines until the song ended and scrambled with the Brown Band.)
But what finally pulled America out of the Depression? Was it…
(The bands form their respective choices as the Brown Band plays the Brown Cheering Song.)
(Band forms lower case ‘B’ and plays the waltz/conga of the Brown Cheering song when Brown stops playing)
And now, forming the symbol that represents: Power Momentum Phosphorous Rho, if you’re Greek Applied loadbrackets Pressure Urine Probability density Little green vegetables Polynomial time Protein Parsec Pirate Piano Point-to-point protocol The grade that Brown students like to receive It’s the Double, Double Rotating P!
(Band plays “Going Back”)
(Band stays on the field while Brown plays the anthem. We run off the field together.)
Halftime
Ladies and Gentlemen! Do you know how many licks it takes to get the center of the Princeton University Band?
(Band plays “Princeton Forward”)
Seeing as the economy is fairly poor, and the Princeton grads have shut the Brown grads out of all the I-banking jobs, we thought we’d suggest some alternative uses for your Brown diploma.
(Band forms a Brown diploma and plays “School’s Out”)
Between Roy being attacked by his tiger and the tiger being discovered in an apartment in NY, we started to contemplate the wisdom of keeping certain animals as pets. Here’s a list of animals we would NOT want living in our very, very fine house.
Forming a Dodo on the field, the Band plays “Birdland.”
(Band begins to form a dildo, but the announcer yells, “Band! I said DODO! The band then forms a Dodo bird and plays “Birdland”)
Run away, band, it’s a very horny toad, and it’s coming your way!
October 18th, 2003
Princeton wins 34-14
Pregame
Note: This pregame show was performed with the Brown band. Their parts are in parentheses.
(The year is 1928. The stock market is soaring. Things will be happy and wonderful forever, just like the Brown Band.)
(Band runs on field and then plays “Cannon” without repeat)
(In our mutual search for the truth about the Depression, the bands turned to Fox News, home of the truth. We learned that the crash was caused by the Democrats’ tax-and-spend policies, and the dust storms were nothing more than a foreshadowing of Clinton’s affair. Coming together to form Bill O’Reilly’s gigantic head, the bands will salute our hero with NFL on Fox.)
(Bands form football, play NFL on Fox. Note: We did not have an arrangement of NFL on Fox, so we stayed in our lines until the song ended and scrambled with the Brown Band.)
But what finally pulled America out of the Depression? Was it…
- (A: A very long rope?
- B: FDR’s WPA initiative to distribute food and shiny objects to downtrodden citizens?
- C: The same thing that got us out of the last recession, Bob Dole and Strom Thurmond?
- D: Penicillin in the drinking water?
- E: Repealing the prohibition
- F: The Princeton Band.) Wait! I thought we agreed on “F The Brown Band.” (Umm… F The Penn Band? That’ll do!)
(The bands form their respective choices as the Brown Band plays the Brown Cheering Song.)
(Band forms lower case ‘B’ and plays the waltz/conga of the Brown Cheering song when Brown stops playing)
And now, forming the symbol that represents: Power Momentum Phosphorous Rho, if you’re Greek Applied loadbrackets Pressure Urine Probability density Little green vegetables Polynomial time Protein Parsec Pirate Piano Point-to-point protocol The grade that Brown students like to receive It’s the Double, Double Rotating P!
(Band plays “Going Back”)
(Band stays on the field while Brown plays the anthem. We run off the field together.)
Halftime
Ladies and Gentlemen! Do you know how many licks it takes to get the center of the Princeton University Band?
(Band plays “Princeton Forward”)
Seeing as the economy is fairly poor, and the Princeton grads have shut the Brown grads out of all the I-banking jobs, we thought we’d suggest some alternative uses for your Brown diploma.
- Join the Princeton Band
- Paint it orange
- Cross out half the words and use it as a MadLib
- Use it to wipe your ass
- Cut it into small squares and use as toilet paper
- Learn Latin
- Smoke it
- Sit on it and spin
- Give yourself paper cuts
- Write on the back, “Will work for food”
- Use it to pick up women… very light women
- Use it to stuff your bra and/or crotch
- And finally, put it on the application for your NEXT undergraduate college.
(Band forms a Brown diploma and plays “School’s Out”)
Between Roy being attacked by his tiger and the tiger being discovered in an apartment in NY, we started to contemplate the wisdom of keeping certain animals as pets. Here’s a list of animals we would NOT want living in our very, very fine house.
- RAPTORS
- Sheep… oh, wait, wrong school
- Gollum
- Mutated sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their foreheads
- Crabs… of all shapes and sizes
- A giraffe in heat
- ROUSs…oh, I don’t think they exist. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
- Horny toads… very horny toads
- Glow in the dark sperm whales
- A double, double rotating peacock
- Flocks of flying monkeys
- A dildo… oops, I mean Dodo
Forming a Dodo on the field, the Band plays “Birdland.”
(Band begins to form a dildo, but the announcer yells, “Band! I said DODO! The band then forms a Dodo bird and plays “Birdland”)
Run away, band, it’s a very horny toad, and it’s coming your way!
