Brown 2005
Princeton at Brown
October 15th, 2005
Princeton loses 28-31
Pregame
“This just in… IT’S STILL RAINING!!!!”
(Cannon)
So we stumbled upon this letter from a Brown freshman to his parents, and we were shocked at the tone of distress. Hear it for yourselves: “Hello mother, hello dad, I’m here at Brown, and life is BAD. I have been cursed with awful roomies, And since I’m a frosh, no girls will do me. I sadly found it was no joke, When my RA asked if I wanted to toke. The final scourge to hit this land Came in last night — it’s the Princeton Band! Rescue me quick, this is getting dire: They tried to set their conductor on fire! There’s some good out of this sordid tale At least I didn’t go to Yale. All my love from this college town, Please let me come home… God hates Brown. Forming a little “b” for “below sea level”, the band plays the Brown Cheering Song.
(Brown Cheering Song)
And now…. More qualified than…
It’s the Double-Double Rotating P!!!
(Going Back)
Run away band… Bush is playing with his weather machine again!
Halftime
Curses, foiled again! If it weren’t for that meddling Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward)
Everyone knows Brown leans left, but our recent investigation discovered a sinister plot to convert Brown into a communist stronghold! Here’s some proof:
Saluting Brown’s commitment to forging a Marxist paradise, the Band forms the Iron Curtain and plays “Free Ride”
(Free Ride)
In an effort to bring fans back, the NHL has introduced some new and exciting rules. We in the band, however, have a few more rules we’d like to see added.
Forming a football, the Band tells the American people, “You can have it any way you want it.”
(Any Way You Want It)
I’ll get you next time, Band …Next time!!!
October 15th, 2005
Princeton loses 28-31
Pregame
“This just in… IT’S STILL RAINING!!!!”
(Cannon)
So we stumbled upon this letter from a Brown freshman to his parents, and we were shocked at the tone of distress. Hear it for yourselves: “Hello mother, hello dad, I’m here at Brown, and life is BAD. I have been cursed with awful roomies, And since I’m a frosh, no girls will do me. I sadly found it was no joke, When my RA asked if I wanted to toke. The final scourge to hit this land Came in last night — it’s the Princeton Band! Rescue me quick, this is getting dire: They tried to set their conductor on fire! There’s some good out of this sordid tale At least I didn’t go to Yale. All my love from this college town, Please let me come home… God hates Brown. Forming a little “b” for “below sea level”, the band plays the Brown Cheering Song.
(Brown Cheering Song)
And now…. More qualified than…
- Harriet Tubman
- Harriet Beecher Stowe
- When Harriet Sally
- Harriet the Spy
- Harriet Potter
- Mike Myers
- Metro-Goldwn-Mayers
- Quagmires
- Harriet Truman
- Fort Myers
- and HARRIET MIERS
It’s the Double-Double Rotating P!!!
(Going Back)
Run away band… Bush is playing with his weather machine again!
Halftime
Curses, foiled again! If it weren’t for that meddling Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward)
Everyone knows Brown leans left, but our recent investigation discovered a sinister plot to convert Brown into a communist stronghold! Here’s some proof:
- A student petition to change “Brown University” to “Red University”
- Brown President Ruth J. Simmons wants to change her title to “Commisar” and is married to “Joseph Stalin” on thefacebook.com
- Everyone is getting equal grades regardless of – oh wait…
- Forced collectivization of student marijuana farms
- While Princeton is introducing four-year colleges, Brown is introducing five-year plans
- The most popular fraternity is Kappa Gamma Beta -.KGB! GET IT?!
- Instead of giving out grades, they give out Marx
- They’ve started parading nuclear warheads through campus
- Judging from the clothes they wear, they’ve already achieved a “classless” society
- They signed a non-aggression pact with Nazi Germany
- The Smith Swim Center has been renamed the “Bay of Pigs”
Saluting Brown’s commitment to forging a Marxist paradise, the Band forms the Iron Curtain and plays “Free Ride”
(Free Ride)
In an effort to bring fans back, the NHL has introduced some new and exciting rules. We in the band, however, have a few more rules we’d like to see added.
- First rule of Ice Hockey: Don’t talk about ice hockey
- One word: landmines
- Replace hockey pucks with hedgehogs
- Zamboni Jousting
- Less ice, more lava
- Lasers (pause)
- Release wombats onto the ice
- Replace powerplays with MULTIBALL
- Attach spikes to the boards
- Games ended in shootouts-with GUNS
- Replace the penalty box with the guillotine
- Replace sticks with throwing, the goal with an endzone, ice with grass, and play football instead, morons!
Forming a football, the Band tells the American people, “You can have it any way you want it.”
(Any Way You Want It)
I’ll get you next time, Band …Next time!!!
