Brown 2019
Princeton at Brown
October 19th, 2019
Princeton wins 65-22
Pregame:
360 Video
Da da-da daaaaaaa Da DA-DA DAAAAAAAA JOHNNNNNN CENNAAAAA, IT’S THE PRINCETON UNIVERSITY BAND.
[Band scrambles on, charging each other from opposite corners of the field]
In the Brown corner, weighing in at four hundred and twenty pounds...the mascot of Brown University...it’s Bruno!!!!!!!!
In the blue corner, weighing in a whopping four thousand pounds, the ever-vigilant termite protector of I-95. It’s Nibbles Woodaway!!!!!! The bell rings to start the fight, GO! Bruno the big boy comes in hot with an ambitious upper hook to the termite’s soft underbelly. Little does he know the fiberglass-skinned beast has no soft underbelly, nor does this fearsome titan have any weaknesses at all! Bruno’s really in the belly of the beast now. Living up to his nibbly name, Nibbles ever so gently nibbles Bruno’s leg off and gets promptly arrested by the Rhode Island state police because biting off legs is explicitly illegal in Rhode Island. You’ve done it now, Nibbles. Bruno is really not looking good . . . he’s down for the count! The band forms Bruno’s severed leg and plays The Final Countdown.
[band forms Bruno’s severed leg and plays The Final Countdown]
Bruno pulls himself to his foot at the last second, despite massive blood loss and severe bodily and emotional trauma. Bruno’s head and world are spinning, and so is our double-double rotating P!
[Band forms a double double rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away band, the next round is about to begin!
Halftime:
Neither a fruit nor a vegetable, though possibly a disappointment, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
A recent study of Brown University students’ search history, released by Shiru Cafe, has turned up some very interesting data. Some of the best questions they’ve posed to the infinite wisdom of the interwebs are as follows: Help! I accidentally build a shelf? My roommate thinks Mitt Romney is in our closet and won’t go in the room? I was bitten by a termite when I was a young lad, can I still drink orange juice?
The Princeton Band has invited a special guest, our very own plastic Santa, to attempt to answer some of these questions.
Hello Santa, thank you for joining us today.
Santa: Yes, thank you for having me
Our first question is: what state is Rhode Island in?
Santa: Disarray.
When you have an idea, does a lightbulb really appear over your head?
Santa: Why don’t you try having one first
If you die in Canada, do you die in real life?
Santa: I’ll let the band answer that one.
Forming a tombstone, the band plays O Canada
[Band forms a tombstone and plays O Canada]
Hey Santa, did I turn my boyfriend into a vampire?
Santa: If you did, you’re on the naughty list.
Just ate 52 pizza rolls, will I die in my sleep?
Santa: I can really tell you’re a college student. Isn’t midterms week coming up or something?
What kind of bees produce milk?
Santa: Brown bees, of course! Don’t you know that’s how you get Rhode Island’s official state beverage, coffee milk?
HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS LOCK
Santa: You do realize you’re talking, right?
Do you think humans will ever walk on the sun?
Santa: They often do during Christmas time. Where do you think the coal in your stockings comes from?
Alright then Santa. Forming a lump of coal, the band plays Great Balls of Fire.
[Band forms a lump of coal and plays Great Balls of Fire]
Run away band! Go figure out how to safely look at a picture of the sun.
October 19th, 2019
Princeton wins 65-22
Pregame:
360 Video
Da da-da daaaaaaa Da DA-DA DAAAAAAAA JOHNNNNNN CENNAAAAA, IT’S THE PRINCETON UNIVERSITY BAND.
[Band scrambles on, charging each other from opposite corners of the field]
In the Brown corner, weighing in at four hundred and twenty pounds...the mascot of Brown University...it’s Bruno!!!!!!!!
In the blue corner, weighing in a whopping four thousand pounds, the ever-vigilant termite protector of I-95. It’s Nibbles Woodaway!!!!!! The bell rings to start the fight, GO! Bruno the big boy comes in hot with an ambitious upper hook to the termite’s soft underbelly. Little does he know the fiberglass-skinned beast has no soft underbelly, nor does this fearsome titan have any weaknesses at all! Bruno’s really in the belly of the beast now. Living up to his nibbly name, Nibbles ever so gently nibbles Bruno’s leg off and gets promptly arrested by the Rhode Island state police because biting off legs is explicitly illegal in Rhode Island. You’ve done it now, Nibbles. Bruno is really not looking good . . . he’s down for the count! The band forms Bruno’s severed leg and plays The Final Countdown.
[band forms Bruno’s severed leg and plays The Final Countdown]
Bruno pulls himself to his foot at the last second, despite massive blood loss and severe bodily and emotional trauma. Bruno’s head and world are spinning, and so is our double-double rotating P!
[Band forms a double double rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away band, the next round is about to begin!
Halftime:
Neither a fruit nor a vegetable, though possibly a disappointment, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
A recent study of Brown University students’ search history, released by Shiru Cafe, has turned up some very interesting data. Some of the best questions they’ve posed to the infinite wisdom of the interwebs are as follows: Help! I accidentally build a shelf? My roommate thinks Mitt Romney is in our closet and won’t go in the room? I was bitten by a termite when I was a young lad, can I still drink orange juice?
The Princeton Band has invited a special guest, our very own plastic Santa, to attempt to answer some of these questions.
Hello Santa, thank you for joining us today.
Santa: Yes, thank you for having me
Our first question is: what state is Rhode Island in?
Santa: Disarray.
When you have an idea, does a lightbulb really appear over your head?
Santa: Why don’t you try having one first
If you die in Canada, do you die in real life?
Santa: I’ll let the band answer that one.
Forming a tombstone, the band plays O Canada
[Band forms a tombstone and plays O Canada]
Hey Santa, did I turn my boyfriend into a vampire?
Santa: If you did, you’re on the naughty list.
Just ate 52 pizza rolls, will I die in my sleep?
Santa: I can really tell you’re a college student. Isn’t midterms week coming up or something?
What kind of bees produce milk?
Santa: Brown bees, of course! Don’t you know that’s how you get Rhode Island’s official state beverage, coffee milk?
HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS LOCK
Santa: You do realize you’re talking, right?
Do you think humans will ever walk on the sun?
Santa: They often do during Christmas time. Where do you think the coal in your stockings comes from?
Alright then Santa. Forming a lump of coal, the band plays Great Balls of Fire.
[Band forms a lump of coal and plays Great Balls of Fire]
Run away band! Go figure out how to safely look at a picture of the sun.