Brown 2021
Princeton at Brown
October 16, 2021
Princeton wins 56-42
Pregame:
Welcoming you to a major ship show, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to “Princeton Cannon Song.”]
We’re wheely excited to be here in Road Island to see what the bus is all about! It took us gearly two weeks to find you though, since we wanted to sea if we could find you auto there in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean--you claim to be an island, after all! We didn’t want to take the “jeep” option, boat still wanted it to be af-Ford-able, so after renting a canoe from Princeton Canoe Rental at the start of October, we set off on a gl-oar-ious journey through the waterways of central New Jersey to find the ocean. Luckily, we got directions from a trucker on I-95 who took pity on us when we got stuck in a logjam, ferry far off course, otherwise your gas is as good as mine as to where we would current-ly be.
“Water you doing?” said the trucker. His name was Bruno bear, and one of his legs was missing.
“Rowing to road island to see the brown band! RV there yet?”
“Don’t you know that the best way to get to road island is to follow the roads? All roads lead to Rhode, after all! And it’s my way or the highway”
Aw truck! I guess we’re still in the middle of our journey…
Band forms a canoe and plays “The Middle.”
But what is a journey if not the friends we make along the way? The Brown Band are our friends! We love them so much, in fact, that they let us borrow their Brown ship to get to Road Island.
The Brown Ship is large and buoyant, though rather water-logged. To complement this beautiful ship, the band forms a double-double rotating P!
[Band forms double double rotating P and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall.”]
Run away, band! All good things must come to a rear-end.
Halftime:
We found all these new members on the street. It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to “Princeton Forward March.”]
Hello, unsuspecting victims! Unbeknownst to all of you, the plan is close to being brought to fruition. What plan, you ask? Why, it’s the complete infiltration of the Brown administration with Princeton’s secret agents.
Oh, don’t act all surprised. You should've seen it coming from the very beginning! For Brown’s first president, James Manning, was actually a Princeton graduate! That’s right, we’ve been entrenched in your upper echelons since the start. We sent only our most pure, religious, pious, godly, omniscient, ever-present, always watching Brown for us, affiliate. He’s still watching.
Band forms an eye that never closes and plays “Eye of the Tiger.”
We continue to watch you. Every single moment. But not in an inappropriate way. We have ensconced at your helm Christina Paxson, whom you THINK is on your side. In reality, she came to you after rising the ranks to lead our spy-a school—I mean, SPIA school—and she gives reports to Big Daddy Eisgruber every night before bed. We also have planted an agent in your admissions office—at the very top, in fact. Logan Powell, your Dean of Admissions, has finally taken over the ports of entry to Brown for us. We trained him, too, when he was working for us!
Additionally, in classic Princeton fashion, we’ve exported one of our finest finance snakes, Jane Dietze, to be your chief investment officer. We’re almost as good at this as the KGB!
The Band forms the Kremlin and plays “Moskau.”
We’ve been a diversion this whole time! Run away band - our cover has been blown!
October 16, 2021
Princeton wins 56-42
Pregame:
Welcoming you to a major ship show, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to “Princeton Cannon Song.”]
We’re wheely excited to be here in Road Island to see what the bus is all about! It took us gearly two weeks to find you though, since we wanted to sea if we could find you auto there in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean--you claim to be an island, after all! We didn’t want to take the “jeep” option, boat still wanted it to be af-Ford-able, so after renting a canoe from Princeton Canoe Rental at the start of October, we set off on a gl-oar-ious journey through the waterways of central New Jersey to find the ocean. Luckily, we got directions from a trucker on I-95 who took pity on us when we got stuck in a logjam, ferry far off course, otherwise your gas is as good as mine as to where we would current-ly be.
“Water you doing?” said the trucker. His name was Bruno bear, and one of his legs was missing.
“Rowing to road island to see the brown band! RV there yet?”
“Don’t you know that the best way to get to road island is to follow the roads? All roads lead to Rhode, after all! And it’s my way or the highway”
Aw truck! I guess we’re still in the middle of our journey…
Band forms a canoe and plays “The Middle.”
But what is a journey if not the friends we make along the way? The Brown Band are our friends! We love them so much, in fact, that they let us borrow their Brown ship to get to Road Island.
The Brown Ship is large and buoyant, though rather water-logged. To complement this beautiful ship, the band forms a double-double rotating P!
[Band forms double double rotating P and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall.”]
Run away, band! All good things must come to a rear-end.
Halftime:
We found all these new members on the street. It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to “Princeton Forward March.”]
Hello, unsuspecting victims! Unbeknownst to all of you, the plan is close to being brought to fruition. What plan, you ask? Why, it’s the complete infiltration of the Brown administration with Princeton’s secret agents.
Oh, don’t act all surprised. You should've seen it coming from the very beginning! For Brown’s first president, James Manning, was actually a Princeton graduate! That’s right, we’ve been entrenched in your upper echelons since the start. We sent only our most pure, religious, pious, godly, omniscient, ever-present, always watching Brown for us, affiliate. He’s still watching.
Band forms an eye that never closes and plays “Eye of the Tiger.”
We continue to watch you. Every single moment. But not in an inappropriate way. We have ensconced at your helm Christina Paxson, whom you THINK is on your side. In reality, she came to you after rising the ranks to lead our spy-a school—I mean, SPIA school—and she gives reports to Big Daddy Eisgruber every night before bed. We also have planted an agent in your admissions office—at the very top, in fact. Logan Powell, your Dean of Admissions, has finally taken over the ports of entry to Brown for us. We trained him, too, when he was working for us!
Additionally, in classic Princeton fashion, we’ve exported one of our finest finance snakes, Jane Dietze, to be your chief investment officer. We’re almost as good at this as the KGB!
The Band forms the Kremlin and plays “Moskau.”
We’ve been a diversion this whole time! Run away band - our cover has been blown!
