Brown 2023
October 14, 2023
Princeton at Brown
Brown wins 28-27
Pregame:
Willing to become speaker of the house, but only on a temporary basis for a 30, 60, or 90 day period– it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
According to Pew Research, Rhode Island has among the highest percentages of adults who do not identify with either of the two major political parties. The Band, ever the opportunists, wish to capitalize on this and are taking this pre-game show to launch our own political party: the Barty. We’ve devised a list of the Barty’s most pressing concerns:
And as for our position on current education policy, well, all we have to say is… the kids aren’t alright. And we’ll form a book while we’re at it, for emphásis.
[Band forms a rectangle and plays the "Kids Aren’t Alright"]
In today’s polarized political environment, one thing I think we can all agree on is our love for our Double Double Rotating P!
[Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays Going Back]
Run away Band; you’re going to lose the election to unsubstantiated voter fraud! It’s all rigged!
Halftime:
Football game tonite? Football game tonite queen? It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton, Forward March]
In 1993, our band’s halftime show here at Brown touched on a variety of topics while discussing various incompetents in society at the time. Let’s see where these incompetents are now!
Forming Al Gore’s favorite topic of conversation, the band forms oil / the tears of failed presidential candidates and plays You Can Call Me Al.
[Band forms a tear drop and plays “You Can Call Me Al”]
Next up on the list of incompetents:
Against the guidelines defined in the Geneva convention, the Band forms a (red) cross and plays Free Ride.
[Band forms + and plays "Free Ride"]
I wonder what Al Gore’s up to… Run away band!
Princeton at Brown
Brown wins 28-27
Pregame:
Willing to become speaker of the house, but only on a temporary basis for a 30, 60, or 90 day period– it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
According to Pew Research, Rhode Island has among the highest percentages of adults who do not identify with either of the two major political parties. The Band, ever the opportunists, wish to capitalize on this and are taking this pre-game show to launch our own political party: the Barty. We’ve devised a list of the Barty’s most pressing concerns:
- The Rhode Island flag should be replaced by a black and orange plaid pattern
- Halloween should be a federal holiday with mandatory orange and black garb
- Yale is abolished as an institution
- More oil on birds
- Pantless third quarter means the entire third fiscal quarter of every year
And as for our position on current education policy, well, all we have to say is… the kids aren’t alright. And we’ll form a book while we’re at it, for emphásis.
[Band forms a rectangle and plays the "Kids Aren’t Alright"]
In today’s polarized political environment, one thing I think we can all agree on is our love for our Double Double Rotating P!
[Band forms Double Double Rotating P and plays Going Back]
Run away Band; you’re going to lose the election to unsubstantiated voter fraud! It’s all rigged!
Halftime:
Football game tonite? Football game tonite queen? It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton, Forward March]
In 1993, our band’s halftime show here at Brown touched on a variety of topics while discussing various incompetents in society at the time. Let’s see where these incompetents are now!
- NASA, proud parents of the Hubble Orbiting Space Doorstop and the Mars Eavesdropper:
- NASA’s $10 billion keg parties have not come to light, but James Webb is working for now! Although the nation’s manned spaceflight seems to have fallen in the hands of one Elon Musk
- Dan Quayle’s parents, for creating Dan Quayle
- Dan Quayle has also procreated, presumably fostering another generation of children who cannot spell “potato” correctly
Forming Al Gore’s favorite topic of conversation, the band forms oil / the tears of failed presidential candidates and plays You Can Call Me Al.
[Band forms a tear drop and plays “You Can Call Me Al”]
Next up on the list of incompetents:
- The Brown Band
- We love the Brown Band now. But we have other enemies.
- “President” Hillary Clinton, who in 1993 had recently spoken to Brown University students about her healthcare plan
- Hillary at least tried to become president for real this time. It’s like the Band is almost prophetic!
- We still don’t have healthcare, though, so no free ride for us
Against the guidelines defined in the Geneva convention, the Band forms a (red) cross and plays Free Ride.
[Band forms + and plays "Free Ride"]
I wonder what Al Gore’s up to… Run away band!
