Bucknell 1991
Princeton vs. Bucknell
October 19th, 1991
Outcome Unknown
Pregame
Stepping high to avoid the Bison chips, it’s the Princeton University Band.
“Princeton Cannon Song”
The Princeton University Band would like to welcome the Bucknell Bison to Palmer Stadium. Until today, we thought that bison were extinct, but imagine our surprise as we located several on the Bucknell cheerleading squad. Then again, we should have known - Bucknell students love their bison… frequently. That’s why Bucknell has derived their cheer from the glorious sounds of bison in the springtime: EEWAA! Don’t get us wrong; we respect the Bucknell Bison, as long as they’re kept in their proper place: the farm.
“Old McDonald Had a Farm” (Second verse is sung: “...had some bison...with an eewa here…”) (Band forms a small ‘b’)
Making the Bucknell students feel right at home on the farm, it’s the
“Going Back” (Band forms Double-Double Rotating P)
Halftime
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long hard look at great discoveries.
“Princeton Forward”
The first major discovery in history was language: “Blah Blah Blah (distorted speaking sounds)…..Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day…” Impassioned poetry may get you all steamy inside, but things didn’t really get hot until fire was discovered. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen until a poster hung above a Princeton student’s bed spontaneously combusted and fell on them both. Flight was discovered by the Greek hero Icarus, when he donned wings constructed of wax and chicken feathers and hurled himself out a window. Seconds later, he made two more discoveries; the pleasures of hot wax, and gravity. (Band yells “SPLAT!”) Originally, primitive man discovered that rolling a keg is the best way to keep it away from proctors. (Band member pulling keg on a leash start rolling it.) The invention of the wheel soon followed. (Band member walking with unicycle starts riding it.) Saluting all those great discoveries from the Stone Age to the age of the Stones, the Band plays “Rock Around the Clock.”
“Rock Around the the Clock” (Band forms a clock, complete with numbers and hands)
No history of great discoveries would be complete without mentioning Columbus. On this, the 499th anniversary of Columbus getting lost, one country at least is showing its respect by changing its name from “India” to “Native America.” Here Columbus is held in disfavor, but the Band urges you to remember all the great things that he has left us: a nice city in Ohio, a better name for Ninth Avenue, and a day off every year. Hey Columbus! You’ve just discovered the New World! What are you going to do now? “I’m going to…uh, uh, I don’t know.” Dispelling Columbus’ confusion, the Band salutes the discovery of “Dis New World.”
“Mickey Mouse March” (Band forms Mickey’s head)
Some discoveries have not changed history. The discovery of Clarence Thomas’ alleged indiscretions did not stop him from being confirmed to the Supreme Court by a vote of 52 to 48. The Band wonders if it’s just coincidence that the phrase “52 to 48” also represents:
Let’s face it, now that the 52-48 verdict is in, Judge Thomas is here to stay, and we just can’t turn him loose.
“I Can’t Turn You Loose” (Band forms a gavel)
Discoveries are constantly being made in the field of physical science. For example, the atom, once thought to be the smallest indivisible particle, was discovered to be made up of protons, electrons, and croutons, and that even croutons are made up of still smaller pieces of bread. Scientists also once thought that four forces were enough to describe the nature of the universe, but this too has been disproven. Recent research by the Princeton University Band in the Fordham library has proven the existence of 69 fundamental forces. For example, there’s the strong dissociative force that keeps Hal Shapiro away from the student body. And there’s the attractive force that causes high school girls to hang out at T.I. And of course, there’s The Force. Watch as our conductor uses ancient Jedi techniques to lead the Band through the Star Wars theme…blindfolded.
“Star Wars” (Band forms a tie-fighter, conductor is blindfolded)
Luke. Your father is a bison. Search your feelings; you know it to be true.
October 19th, 1991
Outcome Unknown
Pregame
Stepping high to avoid the Bison chips, it’s the Princeton University Band.
“Princeton Cannon Song”
The Princeton University Band would like to welcome the Bucknell Bison to Palmer Stadium. Until today, we thought that bison were extinct, but imagine our surprise as we located several on the Bucknell cheerleading squad. Then again, we should have known - Bucknell students love their bison… frequently. That’s why Bucknell has derived their cheer from the glorious sounds of bison in the springtime: EEWAA! Don’t get us wrong; we respect the Bucknell Bison, as long as they’re kept in their proper place: the farm.
“Old McDonald Had a Farm” (Second verse is sung: “...had some bison...with an eewa here…”) (Band forms a small ‘b’)
Making the Bucknell students feel right at home on the farm, it’s the
- Farmer in the dell,
- Sowing wild oats,
- Chip off the old bison,
- Moo cow,
- Bison tipping,
- Six sacks of manure,
- Cock-a-doodle doo,
- Oven-stuffer roaster,
- Frank… Oh Frank,
- Look, Auntie Em, it’s a twister,
- Hey Natasha, show us your teeth,
- Bison, get some free,
- We invited Old McDonald to be in our show, but he didn’t come because he wasn’t feeling himself today,
- Double-Double Rotating P!
“Going Back” (Band forms Double-Double Rotating P)
Halftime
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long hard look at great discoveries.
“Princeton Forward”
The first major discovery in history was language: “Blah Blah Blah (distorted speaking sounds)…..Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s day…” Impassioned poetry may get you all steamy inside, but things didn’t really get hot until fire was discovered. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen until a poster hung above a Princeton student’s bed spontaneously combusted and fell on them both. Flight was discovered by the Greek hero Icarus, when he donned wings constructed of wax and chicken feathers and hurled himself out a window. Seconds later, he made two more discoveries; the pleasures of hot wax, and gravity. (Band yells “SPLAT!”) Originally, primitive man discovered that rolling a keg is the best way to keep it away from proctors. (Band member pulling keg on a leash start rolling it.) The invention of the wheel soon followed. (Band member walking with unicycle starts riding it.) Saluting all those great discoveries from the Stone Age to the age of the Stones, the Band plays “Rock Around the Clock.”
“Rock Around the the Clock” (Band forms a clock, complete with numbers and hands)
No history of great discoveries would be complete without mentioning Columbus. On this, the 499th anniversary of Columbus getting lost, one country at least is showing its respect by changing its name from “India” to “Native America.” Here Columbus is held in disfavor, but the Band urges you to remember all the great things that he has left us: a nice city in Ohio, a better name for Ninth Avenue, and a day off every year. Hey Columbus! You’ve just discovered the New World! What are you going to do now? “I’m going to…uh, uh, I don’t know.” Dispelling Columbus’ confusion, the Band salutes the discovery of “Dis New World.”
“Mickey Mouse March” (Band forms Mickey’s head)
Some discoveries have not changed history. The discovery of Clarence Thomas’ alleged indiscretions did not stop him from being confirmed to the Supreme Court by a vote of 52 to 48. The Band wonders if it’s just coincidence that the phrase “52 to 48” also represents:
- the typical score of an Ivy League football game,
- the typical score of an Ivy League basketball game,
- the range of IQ for an average Bucknell student,
- the range of weekly wages for an average Bucknell graduate, in pesos,
- the range of possible real ages for Alexi Santana,
- number of states in the Union, according to a recent poll of high school students, and
- the chances of Clarence Thomas getting a date with Sandra Day O’Connor.
Let’s face it, now that the 52-48 verdict is in, Judge Thomas is here to stay, and we just can’t turn him loose.
“I Can’t Turn You Loose” (Band forms a gavel)
Discoveries are constantly being made in the field of physical science. For example, the atom, once thought to be the smallest indivisible particle, was discovered to be made up of protons, electrons, and croutons, and that even croutons are made up of still smaller pieces of bread. Scientists also once thought that four forces were enough to describe the nature of the universe, but this too has been disproven. Recent research by the Princeton University Band in the Fordham library has proven the existence of 69 fundamental forces. For example, there’s the strong dissociative force that keeps Hal Shapiro away from the student body. And there’s the attractive force that causes high school girls to hang out at T.I. And of course, there’s The Force. Watch as our conductor uses ancient Jedi techniques to lead the Band through the Star Wars theme…blindfolded.
“Star Wars” (Band forms a tie-fighter, conductor is blindfolded)
Luke. Your father is a bison. Search your feelings; you know it to be true.
