Butler 2019
Butler at Princeton
September 21st, 2019
Princeton wins 49-7
Pregame:
You would think Ivy League schools would have the most precise marching and technical music out of all the colleges...but I guess not. It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
Who are we playing today? Butler? Are they butlers in training? They must’ve come a long way from the International Belgian Butler Academy. I’ve got it wrong? Oh, Butler College! Welcome to the first intramural football game of the season. Butler College versus the rest of Princeton! No? Ah, I see, it’s Butler University, the only relevant university that wears blue and has a bulldog mascot. The same Butler University whose Tigerhub equivalent is my.butler. But, when I go to “my butler” it’s because he’s taking too long to bring me my tea. Why isn’t he answering his bell? He’s supposed to bring me anything I want, anyway i want it.
[Band forms a teacup and plays Any Way You Want It]
Butler’s slogan says that “Good things happen when you unleash a bulldog”, but it’s been two weeks and I still haven’t found Fido. I miss u buddy. He’s probably in doggy heaven sniffing some double double rotating P.
[Band forms the Double-Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away, Band! We’ve got a dog to find!
Halftime:
Shhhhh it’s bed time now, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
The Battle of Frosh Week by the Princeton University Band
Once upon a time, the lord dragon Eisgruber rested quietly in his Nassau Hall den, only emerging every Pre-Rade to give breadcrumbs to only the most fortunate students. In order to save money on ink for The Daily Princetonian, Eisgruber planned to remove the word “frosh” from frosh week. The frosh, seething with anger, brought forth a champion, the freshman with the least sense of direction, the biggest backpack,, the viniest of vineyards, and the boatest of shoes. Step forth, Cody Sampson, a 6’ 4 freshman from Greenwich, Connecticut! In order to rouse the drowsy dragon, he hatches a plan! A fake donation of one hundred billion dollars to rename the new music building ‘the old music building’. Enticed, the lizard man bursts out from Nassau Hall. It’s the battle between the king of the freshman and the lord of the dragons, a game of thrones. Forming Cody Sampson’s shield on the field, the band plays Game of Thrones.
[band forms a shield and plays Game of Thrones]
Bam! Cody used poorly doctored prox. It’s not very effective. Eisgruber counters with conveniently timed study breaks at midnight! Cody fights off the temptation to decorate a pot for his succulent, but Eisgruber threatens him with a D for all his PDF classes this semester. Cody used jumping over the TI fence. Alas! The spikes are too long and spiky! Eisgruber rubs his dragon hands together in glee. “Hee hee hee”, he snarls.
Cody will follow with eager ears any bumping bass line. Mesmerized by an absolute banger just outside Fitzrandolph Gates, Cody struts out the cursed metal gates, not realizing it was a trap! He vanishes, never to graduate again….
The fight of Frosh Week was over. The freshmen lost sight of their beloved frosh week and their tragic hero. Such a sad ending to the summer.
[band forms a sad face and plays Summertime Sadness]
Run away band, The End.
September 21st, 2019
Princeton wins 49-7
Pregame:
You would think Ivy League schools would have the most precise marching and technical music out of all the colleges...but I guess not. It’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
Who are we playing today? Butler? Are they butlers in training? They must’ve come a long way from the International Belgian Butler Academy. I’ve got it wrong? Oh, Butler College! Welcome to the first intramural football game of the season. Butler College versus the rest of Princeton! No? Ah, I see, it’s Butler University, the only relevant university that wears blue and has a bulldog mascot. The same Butler University whose Tigerhub equivalent is my.butler. But, when I go to “my butler” it’s because he’s taking too long to bring me my tea. Why isn’t he answering his bell? He’s supposed to bring me anything I want, anyway i want it.
[Band forms a teacup and plays Any Way You Want It]
Butler’s slogan says that “Good things happen when you unleash a bulldog”, but it’s been two weeks and I still haven’t found Fido. I miss u buddy. He’s probably in doggy heaven sniffing some double double rotating P.
[Band forms the Double-Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away, Band! We’ve got a dog to find!
Halftime:
Shhhhh it’s bed time now, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
The Battle of Frosh Week by the Princeton University Band
Once upon a time, the lord dragon Eisgruber rested quietly in his Nassau Hall den, only emerging every Pre-Rade to give breadcrumbs to only the most fortunate students. In order to save money on ink for The Daily Princetonian, Eisgruber planned to remove the word “frosh” from frosh week. The frosh, seething with anger, brought forth a champion, the freshman with the least sense of direction, the biggest backpack,, the viniest of vineyards, and the boatest of shoes. Step forth, Cody Sampson, a 6’ 4 freshman from Greenwich, Connecticut! In order to rouse the drowsy dragon, he hatches a plan! A fake donation of one hundred billion dollars to rename the new music building ‘the old music building’. Enticed, the lizard man bursts out from Nassau Hall. It’s the battle between the king of the freshman and the lord of the dragons, a game of thrones. Forming Cody Sampson’s shield on the field, the band plays Game of Thrones.
[band forms a shield and plays Game of Thrones]
Bam! Cody used poorly doctored prox. It’s not very effective. Eisgruber counters with conveniently timed study breaks at midnight! Cody fights off the temptation to decorate a pot for his succulent, but Eisgruber threatens him with a D for all his PDF classes this semester. Cody used jumping over the TI fence. Alas! The spikes are too long and spiky! Eisgruber rubs his dragon hands together in glee. “Hee hee hee”, he snarls.
Cody will follow with eager ears any bumping bass line. Mesmerized by an absolute banger just outside Fitzrandolph Gates, Cody struts out the cursed metal gates, not realizing it was a trap! He vanishes, never to graduate again….
The fight of Frosh Week was over. The freshmen lost sight of their beloved frosh week and their tragic hero. Such a sad ending to the summer.
[band forms a sad face and plays Summertime Sadness]
Run away band, The End.
