Colgate 1972
Colgate at Princeton
October 21st, 1972
Princeton loses 26-35
Ladies and gentlemen, in honor of all the freshman mothers…and fathers in our audience, the Princeton University Band salutes Parenthood.
“Princeton Forward”
We begin our tribute today with a look at history’s hottest romance, which produced Rosemary’s Baby. The father, a little horned devil, was the biggest flamer this side of a Colgate man. But, as luck would have it, Rosemary knew only the flames of passion, and ignoring the father’s bad reputation and low class status, bore the unusual child. Forming:
a) a pair of hot pants
b) a flaming gut
c) a forked tail
d) a deviled egg
the Band overhears Rosemary’s lament “The Devil Made Me Do It.”
“Come on Baby Light My Fire” (Band forms forked tail)
No parenthood salute would be complete without the recognition of the world’s all-time greatest father. Of course, the award has to go the Frazier the lion, of the Los Angeles Zoo, who, at the human age equivalent of 95, managed to father 35 cubs in a 3 month span. Unfortunately Frazier up and died a month later; yet for his ability, the Band forms:
a) a line of lions
b) a lion lying down
c) a line of lions lying down
and plays: “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again”
(Band forms a horizontal line)
Next the Band would like to salute the world’s all-time greatest mother. As you have probably guessed, the Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe wins in a walk. Unfortunately the noted historian, Mother Goose, makes no mention of an old man who lived in a shoe. Thus it remains a mystery to this day as to how Madame Shoe and her house of leather managed to acquire so many children. But the Band suggests that anyone who lives in a shoe must be a professional walker and leaves it to future historians to make the connection.
“Walk Right In” (Band forms a shoe)
Finally, the Band turns to the most ordinary of ordinary families: Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Cleavers, TV’s “Leave it to Beaver” family. Looking in on Ward and June and Wally and the Beave, we recall some of the family’s more exciting adventures:
Ladies and gentlemen, in a cutting commentary on the butchering of these jokes by the Princeton University Band’s beloved Board of……..Advisors, the Band forms a meat cleaver on the field noting that had these jokes gone on as originally written, the heads of the Band would have been little more than meat for the chopping block.
“Theme from Leave it to Beaver” on kazoos
October 21st, 1972
Princeton loses 26-35
Ladies and gentlemen, in honor of all the freshman mothers…and fathers in our audience, the Princeton University Band salutes Parenthood.
“Princeton Forward”
We begin our tribute today with a look at history’s hottest romance, which produced Rosemary’s Baby. The father, a little horned devil, was the biggest flamer this side of a Colgate man. But, as luck would have it, Rosemary knew only the flames of passion, and ignoring the father’s bad reputation and low class status, bore the unusual child. Forming:
a) a pair of hot pants
b) a flaming gut
c) a forked tail
d) a deviled egg
the Band overhears Rosemary’s lament “The Devil Made Me Do It.”
“Come on Baby Light My Fire” (Band forms forked tail)
No parenthood salute would be complete without the recognition of the world’s all-time greatest father. Of course, the award has to go the Frazier the lion, of the Los Angeles Zoo, who, at the human age equivalent of 95, managed to father 35 cubs in a 3 month span. Unfortunately Frazier up and died a month later; yet for his ability, the Band forms:
a) a line of lions
b) a lion lying down
c) a line of lions lying down
and plays: “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again”
(Band forms a horizontal line)
Next the Band would like to salute the world’s all-time greatest mother. As you have probably guessed, the Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe wins in a walk. Unfortunately the noted historian, Mother Goose, makes no mention of an old man who lived in a shoe. Thus it remains a mystery to this day as to how Madame Shoe and her house of leather managed to acquire so many children. But the Band suggests that anyone who lives in a shoe must be a professional walker and leaves it to future historians to make the connection.
“Walk Right In” (Band forms a shoe)
Finally, the Band turns to the most ordinary of ordinary families: Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Cleavers, TV’s “Leave it to Beaver” family. Looking in on Ward and June and Wally and the Beave, we recall some of the family’s more exciting adventures:
- Wally learns to dance.
- The Beaver locks himself in the bathroom.
- Lumpy Shaves his chin.
- Eddie Haskell manages to nauseate the entire TV audience.
- Ward wonders just what to do with the Beaver.
Ladies and gentlemen, in a cutting commentary on the butchering of these jokes by the Princeton University Band’s beloved Board of……..Advisors, the Band forms a meat cleaver on the field noting that had these jokes gone on as originally written, the heads of the Band would have been little more than meat for the chopping block.
“Theme from Leave it to Beaver” on kazoos
