Colgate 1973
Colgate at Princeton
October 20th, 1973
Princeton wins 37-21
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at Freshman Parent’s Day.
“Princeton Forward”
The Band first peeks in on Mom and Dad as they mount the stairs at 7:37 Saturday morning. eagerly anticipating a warm reunion with their long-lost offspring. Little do they know that their darling is still recovering from a long, hard night at the Chancellor Green Library. Forming
a) a blood-shot eye, or
b) the bottom of a beer mug, or
c) the cruel, early-morning sun,
the Band overhears Charley’s lament.
“Hard Day’s Night”
Moving right along, the Band watches Mom and Dad as they are subjected to a lively round of panel discussions. Their first flop — er, stop is “The Efficient Use of University Funds,” chaired by Prof. Marvey Breezler, renowned for his long-awaited commission report which proved conclusively that there is no problem, and therefore no solution. Forming a 1500-page report, complete with graphs, statistics, maps, pictures, blueprints, and quotations from the Harvard Law Review, the Band applauds Prof. Breezler’s windy conclusions and overhears his final comment: “Everything’s hunky-dory in Tigertown.”
“Windy”
At long last, we follow Mom and Dad to the panel discussion entitled “Living and Learning at Princeton” or, “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Dorm Life, But Were Afraid to Ask,” chaired by the Dean of Student Affairs. We overhear the panel discussing such burning campus topics as new housing, and cohabitation, academics, and cohabitation, extracurricular activities, and cohabitation, ROTC, and cohabitation. When asked to comment on “viable social alternatives,” one University administrator replied lucidly, “It is sometimes thought by many of the students that in most, but by no means all, cases it is certainly true that social alternatives did been had, but by this time already, we don’t got some, ain’t it.” The Band salutes this forthright statement on a critical campus issue.
“Classical Gas”
Finally, Mom and Dad move on to Palmer Stadium just in time to witness the most exciting, stupendous extravaganza on campus, presented by those pernicious purveyors of playful perversity, The Princeton University Band.
(cowbell cadence to move off field)
October 20th, 1973
Princeton wins 37-21
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at Freshman Parent’s Day.
“Princeton Forward”
The Band first peeks in on Mom and Dad as they mount the stairs at 7:37 Saturday morning. eagerly anticipating a warm reunion with their long-lost offspring. Little do they know that their darling is still recovering from a long, hard night at the Chancellor Green Library. Forming
a) a blood-shot eye, or
b) the bottom of a beer mug, or
c) the cruel, early-morning sun,
the Band overhears Charley’s lament.
“Hard Day’s Night”
Moving right along, the Band watches Mom and Dad as they are subjected to a lively round of panel discussions. Their first flop — er, stop is “The Efficient Use of University Funds,” chaired by Prof. Marvey Breezler, renowned for his long-awaited commission report which proved conclusively that there is no problem, and therefore no solution. Forming a 1500-page report, complete with graphs, statistics, maps, pictures, blueprints, and quotations from the Harvard Law Review, the Band applauds Prof. Breezler’s windy conclusions and overhears his final comment: “Everything’s hunky-dory in Tigertown.”
“Windy”
At long last, we follow Mom and Dad to the panel discussion entitled “Living and Learning at Princeton” or, “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Dorm Life, But Were Afraid to Ask,” chaired by the Dean of Student Affairs. We overhear the panel discussing such burning campus topics as new housing, and cohabitation, academics, and cohabitation, extracurricular activities, and cohabitation, ROTC, and cohabitation. When asked to comment on “viable social alternatives,” one University administrator replied lucidly, “It is sometimes thought by many of the students that in most, but by no means all, cases it is certainly true that social alternatives did been had, but by this time already, we don’t got some, ain’t it.” The Band salutes this forthright statement on a critical campus issue.
“Classical Gas”
Finally, Mom and Dad move on to Palmer Stadium just in time to witness the most exciting, stupendous extravaganza on campus, presented by those pernicious purveyors of playful perversity, The Princeton University Band.
(cowbell cadence to move off field)
