colgate 1979
Colgate at Princeton
October 20th, 1979
Princeton loses 6-17
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Marching Band takes a long, hard look at the continuing soap opera, “As the Tiger Turns.”
“Princeton Forward”
When we left wide-eyed Sue Pyne at the end of last week’s show, she had just splashed down in soggy New Jersey. Freshman Week, out beloved space cadet set out in search of the true Princeton Experience. At the Union party, she met senior Phillips Andover Hotchkiss VII. He wined her and dined her at Lahiere’s, he clothed her at Landau’s, and, when they got really close, the showed her his carrel at Woody Woo. But she couldn’t measure up to his high standards. His sweaters were imported, his wine was imported, and alas, so were his women.
“Get It On” (Band forms a preppie striped belt complete with alligator)
Turned away from the world of docksiders and monogrammed sweaters, sophomore Sue Pyne found herself in the bulging biceps of a “hunk,” er, that is, a “tree,” er, better make that an “athlete-scholar.” He was a thirteen-letter man, learning more letters each week. She taught him ‘P’. She was his most ardent supporter, but he spent too much time practicing with the other guys. Alas, she got tired of the ping pong table every weekend and left him blowin’ in the wind.
“Mister Touchdown” (Band forms a pair of goalposts and “kicks” a ball over them)
In her junior year at Princeton, Sue longed for intellectual stimulation. Pulling an all-nighter at the E-Quad, she stumbled upon T.I. Hewlett Packard ’51A. It was love at near sight. he was cold and calculating, she was Ever ready. She played rock ‘n roll, he rewired her speakers. She offered him drugs, he did a titration. She mentioned sex, but it did not compute. Alas, this terminal relationship proved to be little more than a waste of valuable computer time.
“Mission Impossible” (Band forms calculator)
After our heroine turned off her engineer boyfriend, Sue became obsessed with a fantasy of the “perfect man.” She wanted someone who knew the score, was adept at any formation, someone who could walk and chew gum at the same time. She found it, ladies and gentlemen, and you’ll find it too: the Princeton University Marching Band.
Band:
Knock knock!
Announcer:
Who’s there?
Band:
Anita!
Announcer:
Anita who?
“Billboard March” (Band forms ‘PUB’ and marches off during second chorus)
Will Sue Pyne find true happiness in the real world? Will she find the real world? And…what about Naomi? (dramatic pause) What’s that you say? You want more? Well, OK!
(Band rushes back onto field) “Confidence” (Band forms ‘I LOVE PU’)
“Basin Street Blues” “Liberty Bell” (Band plays last two songs in a concert shell, marching off during the last strains of “Liberty Bell”)
October 20th, 1979
Princeton loses 6-17
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Marching Band takes a long, hard look at the continuing soap opera, “As the Tiger Turns.”
“Princeton Forward”
When we left wide-eyed Sue Pyne at the end of last week’s show, she had just splashed down in soggy New Jersey. Freshman Week, out beloved space cadet set out in search of the true Princeton Experience. At the Union party, she met senior Phillips Andover Hotchkiss VII. He wined her and dined her at Lahiere’s, he clothed her at Landau’s, and, when they got really close, the showed her his carrel at Woody Woo. But she couldn’t measure up to his high standards. His sweaters were imported, his wine was imported, and alas, so were his women.
“Get It On” (Band forms a preppie striped belt complete with alligator)
Turned away from the world of docksiders and monogrammed sweaters, sophomore Sue Pyne found herself in the bulging biceps of a “hunk,” er, that is, a “tree,” er, better make that an “athlete-scholar.” He was a thirteen-letter man, learning more letters each week. She taught him ‘P’. She was his most ardent supporter, but he spent too much time practicing with the other guys. Alas, she got tired of the ping pong table every weekend and left him blowin’ in the wind.
“Mister Touchdown” (Band forms a pair of goalposts and “kicks” a ball over them)
In her junior year at Princeton, Sue longed for intellectual stimulation. Pulling an all-nighter at the E-Quad, she stumbled upon T.I. Hewlett Packard ’51A. It was love at near sight. he was cold and calculating, she was Ever ready. She played rock ‘n roll, he rewired her speakers. She offered him drugs, he did a titration. She mentioned sex, but it did not compute. Alas, this terminal relationship proved to be little more than a waste of valuable computer time.
“Mission Impossible” (Band forms calculator)
After our heroine turned off her engineer boyfriend, Sue became obsessed with a fantasy of the “perfect man.” She wanted someone who knew the score, was adept at any formation, someone who could walk and chew gum at the same time. She found it, ladies and gentlemen, and you’ll find it too: the Princeton University Marching Band.
Band:
Knock knock!
Announcer:
Who’s there?
Band:
Anita!
Announcer:
Anita who?
“Billboard March” (Band forms ‘PUB’ and marches off during second chorus)
Will Sue Pyne find true happiness in the real world? Will she find the real world? And…what about Naomi? (dramatic pause) What’s that you say? You want more? Well, OK!
(Band rushes back onto field) “Confidence” (Band forms ‘I LOVE PU’)
“Basin Street Blues” “Liberty Bell” (Band plays last two songs in a concert shell, marching off during the last strains of “Liberty Bell”)
