Colgate 1988
Princeton vs. Colgate
November 5th, 1988
Outcome Unknown
Your attention please: The part normally played by the Princeton University Band will instead be played by the Lone Band of the Apocalypse. The opinions and performance quality of the halftime show are not necessarily those of the Princeton University Band. Any resemblance to the actual Princeton Band, living or dead, is purely coincidental. And now, The Princeton University Band takes a nitty gritty, down and dirty look at the world of politics.
“Princeton Forward”
(To the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies”) This is the story of a man named Duke What he dumped in Boston Harbor would really make you yuke Then one day he started running for the Prez “Bush is a weenie, vote for me” he says Competance. Values, that is.
(Batman trumpet cue) Meanwhile, in Boston Harbor, the Band has located some verrrrry interesting items:
a) dead fish
b) discarded elevator shoes
c) Bill Buckner
d) British tea
e) expired ACLU cards
f) a lot of green slimy crud
Saluting all those crustaceans whose final resting place is Boston Harbor, the Band plays “Rock Lobster.” “Rock Lobster” (Band forms a lobster) Dukakis has a few other political exoskeletons in his closet as well. And in an election year, things always come back to haunt you, like:
Speaking of Dukakis controversial furlough program, the Band would like to thank Mike for letting a few of us out in time to do this halftime show. We promise to be back in time for dinner. Forming a revolving prison door, the Band plays the theme song of Willie Horton.
“Jailhouse Rock” (Band forms a revolving door)
In the interest of equal time, we will now begin to savage George Bush. The Band has a few questions for George: Is it true that you have arranged for day care for Dan Quayle? When you get up in the morning, how long does it take you to wrap yourself in the flag? What’s with this thousand points of light deal anyways? The last time the Band saw a thousand points of light it was sign-ins last spring…and we went to McCosh. Forming a thousand points of light, the Band asks, “Does Bush plan on giving sunglasses to the homeless?”
“Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” (Band forms a thousand points of light)
The latest polls show Bush well ahead of Dukakis. If this trend continues and George is elected, the Band has the following suggestions for a succesful presidency for Bush:
a) don’t die
b) don’t die
c) please, please don’t die
d) we mean it, we really do
e) all of the above
f) whatever you do, don’t give Dan Quayle the launch codes
Forming a bullet-proof vest on the field, the Band admits that we have never before rooted for a Yalie to survive.
“Little Brown Jug” (Band forms bullet-proof vest)
And in case you were hoping this change was permanent, the real Princeton Band will be back next week. Same Bat time, same Bat channel.
November 5th, 1988
Outcome Unknown
Your attention please: The part normally played by the Princeton University Band will instead be played by the Lone Band of the Apocalypse. The opinions and performance quality of the halftime show are not necessarily those of the Princeton University Band. Any resemblance to the actual Princeton Band, living or dead, is purely coincidental. And now, The Princeton University Band takes a nitty gritty, down and dirty look at the world of politics.
“Princeton Forward”
(To the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies”) This is the story of a man named Duke What he dumped in Boston Harbor would really make you yuke Then one day he started running for the Prez “Bush is a weenie, vote for me” he says Competance. Values, that is.
(Batman trumpet cue) Meanwhile, in Boston Harbor, the Band has located some verrrrry interesting items:
a) dead fish
b) discarded elevator shoes
c) Bill Buckner
d) British tea
e) expired ACLU cards
f) a lot of green slimy crud
Saluting all those crustaceans whose final resting place is Boston Harbor, the Band plays “Rock Lobster.” “Rock Lobster” (Band forms a lobster) Dukakis has a few other political exoskeletons in his closet as well. And in an election year, things always come back to haunt you, like:
- an undistinguished military record
- a ten thousand dollar breakfast club
- Buffalo wings from Chuck’s
- white castle burgers
- and of course, convicted murderers.
Speaking of Dukakis controversial furlough program, the Band would like to thank Mike for letting a few of us out in time to do this halftime show. We promise to be back in time for dinner. Forming a revolving prison door, the Band plays the theme song of Willie Horton.
“Jailhouse Rock” (Band forms a revolving door)
In the interest of equal time, we will now begin to savage George Bush. The Band has a few questions for George: Is it true that you have arranged for day care for Dan Quayle? When you get up in the morning, how long does it take you to wrap yourself in the flag? What’s with this thousand points of light deal anyways? The last time the Band saw a thousand points of light it was sign-ins last spring…and we went to McCosh. Forming a thousand points of light, the Band asks, “Does Bush plan on giving sunglasses to the homeless?”
“Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” (Band forms a thousand points of light)
The latest polls show Bush well ahead of Dukakis. If this trend continues and George is elected, the Band has the following suggestions for a succesful presidency for Bush:
a) don’t die
b) don’t die
c) please, please don’t die
d) we mean it, we really do
e) all of the above
f) whatever you do, don’t give Dan Quayle the launch codes
Forming a bullet-proof vest on the field, the Band admits that we have never before rooted for a Yalie to survive.
“Little Brown Jug” (Band forms bullet-proof vest)
And in case you were hoping this change was permanent, the real Princeton Band will be back next week. Same Bat time, same Bat channel.
