Colgate 2004
Princeton at Colgate
October 9th, 2004
Princeton loses 26-29
Pregame
For the third week in a row, we did not perform a pregame show. Colgate Athletics did not give us any time at pregame.
Halftime
Hey, uh… guys? Is it hot in here, or is it just… the Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward)
So we were reading the Colgate Campus Safety blotter during our extended visit to the police station, and we found that nothing ever happens on this campus… except for fire alarms. They say 30% of fire alarms here are caused by cooking mishaps. But what about the other 70%? What have you students been doing?
Forming our own scale model of the Hindenburg (not to scale), the Band tries not to go down in flames.
(Band forms a blimp, plays “Great Balls of Fire”)
Just in case you’ve missed the Presidential debates, here’s a summary that we stole from the American Dental Association. We think it’s been doctored… or should we say, dentisted. Kerry began the debate by claiming that Bush’s administrative overbite had led America into a very bad military denture in Iraq. Troop flosses have been increasing, we’re fighting the insurgents tooth and nail, and the hardest thing to swallow is that we don’t know if Osama Bin Laden is saliva or not. Bush spat back that Kerry’s allegations are toothless and that the future of Iraq is whitening, because soon it will have a Constitoothtion and a Drill of Rights. Bush also defended his decision not to have bicuspid talks with North Korea, saying that working with the U.N. Security Tonsil is like pulling teeth. Both candidates then began filling us in on their domestic agendas, discussing molarizing issues such as gum control, affirmative plaque-tion, tartar schools, brace relations, and the oral decay of society. Kerry ended the debate by saying that although he was enameled of Bush’s daughters, he wished he would tell the American people the tooth. Bush said, “The tooth? You can’t handle the tooth!” Giving our friends at Colgate something to smile about, the Band says, “Kerry On.”
(Band forms a smile and plays “Carry On Wayward Son”)
Run away, Band! It’s the Patriot Act, and it wants to arrest you.
October 9th, 2004
Princeton loses 26-29
Pregame
For the third week in a row, we did not perform a pregame show. Colgate Athletics did not give us any time at pregame.
Halftime
Hey, uh… guys? Is it hot in here, or is it just… the Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward)
So we were reading the Colgate Campus Safety blotter during our extended visit to the police station, and we found that nothing ever happens on this campus… except for fire alarms. They say 30% of fire alarms here are caused by cooking mishaps. But what about the other 70%? What have you students been doing?
- Burning witches at the stake?
- Hot-boxing your room?
- Spontaneously combusting?
- Setting off a homemade atomic bomb?
- Burninating thatched-roof cottages?
- Sacrificing goats to Zeus?
- Switching from Internet Explorer to Firefox?
- Burning your roommate in effigy, and by effigy I mean the fireplace!
- Frying ants with a magnifying glass?
- Or building a scale model of the Hindenburg?
Forming our own scale model of the Hindenburg (not to scale), the Band tries not to go down in flames.
(Band forms a blimp, plays “Great Balls of Fire”)
Just in case you’ve missed the Presidential debates, here’s a summary that we stole from the American Dental Association. We think it’s been doctored… or should we say, dentisted. Kerry began the debate by claiming that Bush’s administrative overbite had led America into a very bad military denture in Iraq. Troop flosses have been increasing, we’re fighting the insurgents tooth and nail, and the hardest thing to swallow is that we don’t know if Osama Bin Laden is saliva or not. Bush spat back that Kerry’s allegations are toothless and that the future of Iraq is whitening, because soon it will have a Constitoothtion and a Drill of Rights. Bush also defended his decision not to have bicuspid talks with North Korea, saying that working with the U.N. Security Tonsil is like pulling teeth. Both candidates then began filling us in on their domestic agendas, discussing molarizing issues such as gum control, affirmative plaque-tion, tartar schools, brace relations, and the oral decay of society. Kerry ended the debate by saying that although he was enameled of Bush’s daughters, he wished he would tell the American people the tooth. Bush said, “The tooth? You can’t handle the tooth!” Giving our friends at Colgate something to smile about, the Band says, “Kerry On.”
(Band forms a smile and plays “Carry On Wayward Son”)
Run away, Band! It’s the Patriot Act, and it wants to arrest you.
