Colgate 2005
Colgate at Princeton
October 8th, 2005
Princeton loses 10-6
Pregame
Note: It had been raining torrentially for the past couple of days, and it continued into the next week.
Hydroplaning onto the field, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Cannon)
Colgate’s administration is lame. Really lame. SUPER-DUPER EXTRA CRAZY LAME! Here are some of the things they’ve done to try and be cool enough to hang out with the cooler university administrations.
Forming a little “c” for OH MY GOD SO MUCH RAIN WTF?!, the band plays Colgate’s fight song. And now: Slipping Sliding Splashing Swimming Waterskiing Wakeboarding Jetskiing Canoeing Kayaking NOT rowing Riverdancing Sailing Fishing Dolphin-Riding Surfing Sculling Diving Snorkeling Submarining Doggy-paddling Drowning Floating Sinking and Walking on Water, it’s the Double Double Rotating P!
(Going Back) (Anthem)
Halftime
Note: First, it had been raining all day. The field was a mess. And Colgate, being on fall break, didn’t bring much of a band, and thus opted not to do a field show. So Athletics thought they would fix that, but then apparently forgot. So we now have 12 minutes to do our show. Cool. But wait. Athletics comes to us just before halftime to tell us there will be no promotion. The Band has the halftime. All of it. From 20 minutes until 4, the field was ours. Did we just do our show and say the hell with it? OF COURSE NOT. How often do we get opportunities like this? And Athletics needed something on the field. Might as well be us. Fortunately, Sarah ’06 PExDM was able to contact Kevin Smith ’07. I told him the deal, told him to make up whatever he wanted, so long as we wouldn’t catch hell from the university on Tuesday. So he (with the help of a friend who was visiting from grad school) whipped up a little extra show, and the Band had freedom on the field, provided we didn’t do anything that would somehow allow Athletics to blame the mucked-up field on us. The resulting scrambling/meandering/dancing in the rain may very well have been the best halftime show ever. So without further ado, the halftime show and, as Kevin called it, “The Halftime Show That Never Should Have Been”.
Come onto the field, Band! I’ve got candy!
(Princeton Forward)
Gather round, friends, and the Princeton University Band shall tell ye a tale of October 8, Canadian Thanksgiving. The year was aboot 1957, and the times were even wilder than in today’s Canada. Brother versus brother, Eskimo versus Eskimo, man against sheep — but I digress. Roving bands of moose, led by the sinister King Borttnigar, oppressed a small but heroic group of Canadians, led by Wayne Gretzky and his loyal freedom fighters, the Edmonton Oilers. The situation was grim. Supply lines were cut off, leaving Gretzky’s troops without valuable reserves of putine. Borttnigar practically had victory within his grasp. Gretzky knew that the fate of Canada, and thus the world, lay in his deceptively feminine hands. In a move so clever, no one north of Hollywood could have seen it coming, the Great One challenged Arch Chancellor Borttnigar to a sudden-death shootout. Long story short, Gretzky won and Borttnigar’s head exploded in a fiery wreckage. There was much rejoicing, and Gretzky was then free to teach the Canadians how to form an underfunded social-democratic government. Honoring the true story of Canadian Thanksgiving, the Band plays “O Canada”.
(O Canada)
So Colgate is renovating it’s library. Now, we know Colgate gets a lot of flak from other Ivy bands, but we here at Princeton also know that a few of you are literate. So we thought we’d give you a hand by recommending a few new volumes:
For the love of God, Johnny, don’t put down those crayons!
(Johnny B. Goode)
Run away, Band! Wayne (originally George) has that look in his eye again… (this line was preempted by the fact that we had more to do and was thus never read) THE HALF-TIME JOKE THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN So we found out literally two minutes ago that they want us to stay on the field for a while longer. No, seriously. I’m not kidding. Apparently there’s no promotion or something, so hey, guess who they expect to fill in? Yup, the band. This is the kind of hogwash we in the band put up with all the time. Think about it:
So you see, it’s not just fun and games being in the band. In fact, it’s enough to drive someone insane. With that in mind, the band plays “Basketcase”.
[Basketcase]
"Run away, band! If you stay out there any longer, they’re going to blame YOU for tearing up the field!”
[Band stays on the field, apparently having decided to play another song.]
“Stay on the field, band! Apparently you’re playing another song!!!”
[Children of Sanchez]
“Do whatever you want, band! It’s clear you don’t listen to ME anymore!”
[Band screws around a little bit, then leaves the field. END OF THE SHOW]
October 8th, 2005
Princeton loses 10-6
Pregame
Note: It had been raining torrentially for the past couple of days, and it continued into the next week.
Hydroplaning onto the field, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Cannon)
Colgate’s administration is lame. Really lame. SUPER-DUPER EXTRA CRAZY LAME! Here are some of the things they’ve done to try and be cool enough to hang out with the cooler university administrations.
- Buy the frathouses so that they can go to all the parties
- Get rid of the library
- Put in some sweet hills everywhere! WOOOO!
- Bicker T.I.
- Join the Colgate Band… oh wait
- Sleep with Dartmouth
Forming a little “c” for OH MY GOD SO MUCH RAIN WTF?!, the band plays Colgate’s fight song. And now: Slipping Sliding Splashing Swimming Waterskiing Wakeboarding Jetskiing Canoeing Kayaking NOT rowing Riverdancing Sailing Fishing Dolphin-Riding Surfing Sculling Diving Snorkeling Submarining Doggy-paddling Drowning Floating Sinking and Walking on Water, it’s the Double Double Rotating P!
(Going Back) (Anthem)
Halftime
Note: First, it had been raining all day. The field was a mess. And Colgate, being on fall break, didn’t bring much of a band, and thus opted not to do a field show. So Athletics thought they would fix that, but then apparently forgot. So we now have 12 minutes to do our show. Cool. But wait. Athletics comes to us just before halftime to tell us there will be no promotion. The Band has the halftime. All of it. From 20 minutes until 4, the field was ours. Did we just do our show and say the hell with it? OF COURSE NOT. How often do we get opportunities like this? And Athletics needed something on the field. Might as well be us. Fortunately, Sarah ’06 PExDM was able to contact Kevin Smith ’07. I told him the deal, told him to make up whatever he wanted, so long as we wouldn’t catch hell from the university on Tuesday. So he (with the help of a friend who was visiting from grad school) whipped up a little extra show, and the Band had freedom on the field, provided we didn’t do anything that would somehow allow Athletics to blame the mucked-up field on us. The resulting scrambling/meandering/dancing in the rain may very well have been the best halftime show ever. So without further ado, the halftime show and, as Kevin called it, “The Halftime Show That Never Should Have Been”.
Come onto the field, Band! I’ve got candy!
(Princeton Forward)
Gather round, friends, and the Princeton University Band shall tell ye a tale of October 8, Canadian Thanksgiving. The year was aboot 1957, and the times were even wilder than in today’s Canada. Brother versus brother, Eskimo versus Eskimo, man against sheep — but I digress. Roving bands of moose, led by the sinister King Borttnigar, oppressed a small but heroic group of Canadians, led by Wayne Gretzky and his loyal freedom fighters, the Edmonton Oilers. The situation was grim. Supply lines were cut off, leaving Gretzky’s troops without valuable reserves of putine. Borttnigar practically had victory within his grasp. Gretzky knew that the fate of Canada, and thus the world, lay in his deceptively feminine hands. In a move so clever, no one north of Hollywood could have seen it coming, the Great One challenged Arch Chancellor Borttnigar to a sudden-death shootout. Long story short, Gretzky won and Borttnigar’s head exploded in a fiery wreckage. There was much rejoicing, and Gretzky was then free to teach the Canadians how to form an underfunded social-democratic government. Honoring the true story of Canadian Thanksgiving, the Band plays “O Canada”.
(O Canada)
So Colgate is renovating it’s library. Now, we know Colgate gets a lot of flak from other Ivy bands, but we here at Princeton also know that a few of you are literate. So we thought we’d give you a hand by recommending a few new volumes:
- Let’s Get Ready to Color
- Canada: A Brief History by the Princeton University Band
- Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
- A, E, I, O, and You: Why Only Sometimes Y?
- Now I Can Count to F!
- Chicken Soup for the Vegetarian Soul
- The Gulag Archipelago, by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
- Get Ready to Color Some More!
- I’m a Big Kid Now: America’s Battle with Childhood Obesity
- [cut]The Diary of Anne Frank 2: JUST KIDDING
- The Berenstein Bears Get Syphilis
- Bi-Curious George
- Chainsaws: The Silent Killer
- Daddy Drinks Because You Don’t Color Enough!
For the love of God, Johnny, don’t put down those crayons!
(Johnny B. Goode)
Run away, Band! Wayne (originally George) has that look in his eye again… (this line was preempted by the fact that we had more to do and was thus never read) THE HALF-TIME JOKE THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN So we found out literally two minutes ago that they want us to stay on the field for a while longer. No, seriously. I’m not kidding. Apparently there’s no promotion or something, so hey, guess who they expect to fill in? Yup, the band. This is the kind of hogwash we in the band put up with all the time. Think about it:
- We play every football game. All of them. No matter what the conditions. Case in point: this one!
- Our Drum Major is carrying a lightning rod.
- As part of the university administration’s new policies under Shirley Tilghman, we were FORCED to choose a woman as our President.
- Two words: Orange. Plaid.
- Our van is literally not safe to drive. I’m serious. Someone might die.
So you see, it’s not just fun and games being in the band. In fact, it’s enough to drive someone insane. With that in mind, the band plays “Basketcase”.
[Basketcase]
"Run away, band! If you stay out there any longer, they’re going to blame YOU for tearing up the field!”
[Band stays on the field, apparently having decided to play another song.]
“Stay on the field, band! Apparently you’re playing another song!!!”
[Children of Sanchez]
“Do whatever you want, band! It’s clear you don’t listen to ME anymore!”
[Band screws around a little bit, then leaves the field. END OF THE SHOW]
