Colgate 2006
Princeton at Colgate
October 7th, 2006
Princeton wins 27-26
Pregame
Note: The band was not allowed to perform a joke for this pregame, or even play anything on the field. Instead, we sat on the side of the field and watched as Colgate’s band got to perform their show and commiserated about how much we hate Colgate Athletics.
Halftime
Note: This show was not actually performed. Colgate Athletics informed us the day before that they wouldn’t allow us to read the show, nor would their announcer read the show for us. To spite them, several members of the band purchased a mini microphone to plug into the amp of guitar player and announcer Kevin Smith ’07. However, due to stressful circumstances, the band decided against reading the show this way.
Ruining a perfectly good Saturday afternoon, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward)
Recent developments between Russia and its neighbor, Georgia, have been making it into the news lately, so we thought we’d take this opportunity to highlight a lesser-known breakdown in Russo-Georgian relations. Allow us to give you a brief rundown of the events leading to this Southern Fried Cold War:
Forming Russia’s vision for a new Georgia, the Band plays “Great Balls of Fire”
(Band forms the State of Georgia and plays Great Balls of Fire)
We noticed something strange about your new mascot. Grey skin… Red glowing eyes… Entrails dangling from his teeth. Coupled with the fingers in the cafeteria food, we can come to only one conclusion: Colgate has been overrun by zombies! Of course, those weren’t the only indications. The campus theatre has been showing “Night of the Living Dead” 24-hours a day, and the fact that Biology 101 lectures consist entirely of someone moaning “BRAAAIIIINNNS…” for an hour is a dead, or rather undead, giveaway. But hey, it’s not all bad. If you all become zombies, the average student’s vocabulary will double from “mmmm…” to “mmm…” and “BRAINS!!!”. Fortunately for you, since zombies only eat brains, their food source should dry up as soon as we leave town. Forming “brains” the Band plays “AHHHH!”. Braaaaiiiins….
(Band forms a brain and plays “241”)
Run away, Band, before we accidentally make a toothpaste joke….Crap.
(Instead of performing this joke, the band scrambled onto the field, formed an arc, and played the show tunes.)
October 7th, 2006
Princeton wins 27-26
Pregame
Note: The band was not allowed to perform a joke for this pregame, or even play anything on the field. Instead, we sat on the side of the field and watched as Colgate’s band got to perform their show and commiserated about how much we hate Colgate Athletics.
Halftime
Note: This show was not actually performed. Colgate Athletics informed us the day before that they wouldn’t allow us to read the show, nor would their announcer read the show for us. To spite them, several members of the band purchased a mini microphone to plug into the amp of guitar player and announcer Kevin Smith ’07. However, due to stressful circumstances, the band decided against reading the show this way.
Ruining a perfectly good Saturday afternoon, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward)
Recent developments between Russia and its neighbor, Georgia, have been making it into the news lately, so we thought we’d take this opportunity to highlight a lesser-known breakdown in Russo-Georgian relations. Allow us to give you a brief rundown of the events leading to this Southern Fried Cold War:
- Moscow admits Tennessee to the Warsaw Pact
- Georgian officials declaration that “We could bury y’all, iffin we wonted”
- East Berlin callously rejects airlifted chitlands and grits
- Georgian farmers attempt to shoot down Sputnik with shotguns
- Russia issues a tariff on moonshine imports
- Georgians blame Chernobyl for physical deformities and toothlessness
- Russia refuses to call Georgia anything other than “Bay of Pigs”
Forming Russia’s vision for a new Georgia, the Band plays “Great Balls of Fire”
(Band forms the State of Georgia and plays Great Balls of Fire)
We noticed something strange about your new mascot. Grey skin… Red glowing eyes… Entrails dangling from his teeth. Coupled with the fingers in the cafeteria food, we can come to only one conclusion: Colgate has been overrun by zombies! Of course, those weren’t the only indications. The campus theatre has been showing “Night of the Living Dead” 24-hours a day, and the fact that Biology 101 lectures consist entirely of someone moaning “BRAAAIIIINNNS…” for an hour is a dead, or rather undead, giveaway. But hey, it’s not all bad. If you all become zombies, the average student’s vocabulary will double from “mmmm…” to “mmm…” and “BRAINS!!!”. Fortunately for you, since zombies only eat brains, their food source should dry up as soon as we leave town. Forming “brains” the Band plays “AHHHH!”. Braaaaiiiins….
(Band forms a brain and plays “241”)
Run away, Band, before we accidentally make a toothpaste joke….Crap.
(Instead of performing this joke, the band scrambled onto the field, formed an arc, and played the show tunes.)
