ColGate 2010
Colgate at Princeton
October 9, 2010
Princeton loses 10-44
Pregame:
Ladies and Gentlemen, your expert on tropical fruits, it’s the Princeton University Banana!
Last week at the General Interest Career Fair many students flocked to booths such as the CIA and Princeton in Asia. Unfortunately, there were some booths that were less popular:
(Band forms a lowercase “c” and plays…)
And now,
Papaya, Peach, Peas, Pear, Pineapple, Pumpkin, Poon, Parsnips, Plum, Prune, Prickly Pear, Passion Fruit, Plantain, Parsley, And a Double-Double-Rotating-Pomegranate!
(Band forms DDRP and plays Going Back)
Now please rise for the playing of our national anthem.
(Banner)
Run Away Band, I think the Colgate Band wants to touch your juicy guanabana.
Halftime:
Verbing onto the noun like adjective pop culture reference, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches onto the field playing Princeton Forward March)
This past week, the Band was feeling mischievous and instead of exploring the underbelly of campus, we decided to hack Shirley Tilghman’s Facebook account. We didn’t have too much trouble guessing her password. We tried harvardsucks, and were pleased to find that we were in! Here are some excerpts from President Tilghman’s News Feed:
(Band forms a notification bubble and plays “Friend Like Me”)
On Sunday, World War I officially ended when Germany paid the last of its war reparations. To gather such a huge sum of money, the German people utilized some creative fundraising techniques:
(Band forms a mushroom cloud, and plays “99 Luftballoons”)
This week, <the 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior> (cut, replaced with) a survey commissioned by the National Institute of Health was released. The report concluded that condom use use of protection should be more prevalent among older couples. The Band has drawn up a list of additional topics that older citizens should learn about to become more productive members of society:
(Band forms an EKG squiggle that flatlines and plays “In a Young Man’s Mind”)
Run Away Band, get off my lawn, you young whippersnappers!
October 9, 2010
Princeton loses 10-44
Pregame:
Ladies and Gentlemen, your expert on tropical fruits, it’s the Princeton University Banana!
Last week at the General Interest Career Fair many students flocked to booths such as the CIA and Princeton in Asia. Unfortunately, there were some booths that were less popular:
- Ambassadors to North Korea
- Bleach for America – a new public laundry service
- US Marine Corps
- Lehman Brothers
- Doctors without Personal Boundaries
- Cartographers without Borders
- Princeton in Uzbekistan
- Beijing in Princeton
(Band forms a lowercase “c” and plays…)
And now,
Papaya, Peach, Peas, Pear, Pineapple, Pumpkin, Poon, Parsnips, Plum, Prune, Prickly Pear, Passion Fruit, Plantain, Parsley, And a Double-Double-Rotating-Pomegranate!
(Band forms DDRP and plays Going Back)
Now please rise for the playing of our national anthem.
(Banner)
Run Away Band, I think the Colgate Band wants to touch your juicy guanabana.
Halftime:
Verbing onto the noun like adjective pop culture reference, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches onto the field playing Princeton Forward March)
This past week, the Band was feeling mischievous and instead of exploring the underbelly of campus, we decided to hack Shirley Tilghman’s Facebook account. We didn’t have too much trouble guessing her password. We tried harvardsucks, and were pleased to find that we were in! Here are some excerpts from President Tilghman’s News Feed:
- Shirley Tilghman is attending Fall Rush 2010.
- Dean Hargadon is attending every event because he only replies YES!
- Dean Malkiel is in a relationship with Princeton University and it’s complicated.
- <Josh Weinstein suggests you like CollegeOnly.> (cut)
- Shirley Tilghman likes Crest Toothpaste. Colgate President Jeffrey Herbst likes this.
- Public Safety likes Freshman Girls.
- Engineering School Dean Bogucki wrote on Freshman Engineer’s wall: “You can’t leave engineering! Do you want to change the world or do you want to be poor?!”
- <Scott Jurgens updated his status: 45 – 14? FML.> (cut)
- Dean Dunne and 39 of your friends like The Social Network. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps left a comment: “You’re only liking this because you can’t dislike it.”
- Shirley Tilghman has joined the group “Team Edward.”
- Dean Dunne has been tagged in the album “Anything But Clothes Party @ Campus.” Dean Dunne commented on a picture of you: “So much kettlecorn!!”
(Band forms a notification bubble and plays “Friend Like Me”)
On Sunday, World War I officially ended when Germany paid the last of its war reparations. To gather such a huge sum of money, the German people utilized some creative fundraising techniques:
- Hitting up their homeboy Pope Benedict XVI for some cash money.
- Door to door Weinerschnitzel sale. Each prospective customer will be asked “Do you vant my weinerschnitzel?”
- Having a bake sale of pretzels shaped like the Berlin Wall.
- Selling tickets to their annual wet lederhosen contest
(Band forms a mushroom cloud, and plays “99 Luftballoons”)
This week, <the 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior> (cut, replaced with) a survey commissioned by the National Institute of Health was released. The report concluded that condom use use of protection should be more prevalent among older couples. The Band has drawn up a list of additional topics that older citizens should learn about to become more productive members of society:
- You should check out some of that new-fangled rap music and popular young stars like Two-Pack, Snoopy Dog, and the Notorious Big.
- No trick-or-treater is going to ever want raisins or a nickel.
- You should learn to fix your own VCR.
- If you send 20,000 dollars to that friendly Nigerian prince who emailed you, you should not expect a return on your investment.
- Just because I don’t forward your chain emails doesn’t mean I don’t love you. The fact that I don’t visit you in the nursing home means I don’t love you.
(Band forms an EKG squiggle that flatlines and plays “In a Young Man’s Mind”)
Run Away Band, get off my lawn, you young whippersnappers!