columbia 1990
Princeton vs. Columbia
October 27th, 1990
Outcome Unknown
Pregame
Rolling onto the field like a bunch of rabid pumpkins, it’s the Princeton University Band.
“Princeton Cannon Song”
Hey Columbia, we decided to do our pumpkin jokes first. Ha! We never understood why other schools make pumpkin jokes about us. I mean, how many pumpkins have you seen wearing underwear? The only reason no one ever mistakes the Columbia band for a pumpkin is because pumpkins are much better musicians. The Band now demonstrates how pumpkins would play the Columbia fight song.
“Roar, Lion, Roar” (Band forms a small ‘c’)
All this talk about pumpkins has put us in the Halloween mood. Saluting our favorite holiday, and already dressed in our Halloween garb, it’s the
“Going Back” (Band forms Double-Double Rotating P)
You can’t kill us… we’re already dead.
Halftime
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a cold and calculating look at budgetary problems.
“Princeton Forward”
Like Rosanne Barr on one foot, budgets are tough to balance. When we heard the U.S. Government was in the hole, the Band wanted to lend a hand. Here are some of our suggestions for raising money:
Forming a kilo…uh, a box of brownies on the field, the Band raises its consciousness and national revenues.
“Up, Up and Away” (Band forms a brownie)
They say that a penny saved is a penny earned, but $10 billion saved is even better. One way the government could try to save some money would be to cut Dan Quayle’s allowance. They could also force Bush to take unpaid vacations, thus reducing his paid workdays to ten per year. And since he’s off so much of the time, does he really need a thousand points of light? Let’s just give him five hundred….and a night light for Dan. But none of this would even be necessary if they made just a few reductions in defense spending. Saluting a $10,000 budgetary tool, the Band shows Bush how to cut the Pentagon down to size.
“Mack the Knife” (Band forms a pentagon which changes to a square)
The Columbia band learned everything it knows about balancing a budget from watching our government in action. A penetrating investigation came up with this secret copy of the Columbia band’s budget:
income $ 2000.00
music $ 0.25
cab fare $ 20.00
tips $ 457.00
legal council $ 100.00
Era (because protein gets out protein) $ 400.00
hand-held power pools $ 750.00
brownies and related foodstuffs $ 900.00,
and cold fusion research $ 4.5 billion
Forming an imbalanced budget, we salute Columbia’s imbalanced band.
“My Favorite Things” (Band forms a balance)
Yo Band….Get Out!
October 27th, 1990
Outcome Unknown
Pregame
Rolling onto the field like a bunch of rabid pumpkins, it’s the Princeton University Band.
“Princeton Cannon Song”
Hey Columbia, we decided to do our pumpkin jokes first. Ha! We never understood why other schools make pumpkin jokes about us. I mean, how many pumpkins have you seen wearing underwear? The only reason no one ever mistakes the Columbia band for a pumpkin is because pumpkins are much better musicians. The Band now demonstrates how pumpkins would play the Columbia fight song.
“Roar, Lion, Roar” (Band forms a small ‘c’)
All this talk about pumpkins has put us in the Halloween mood. Saluting our favorite holiday, and already dressed in our Halloween garb, it’s the
- Hey, little girl, want some candy?
- Glows in the dark,
- Trick or treat,
- Hard boiled eggs, toilet paper, and shaving cream,
- Jack-o-lanterns,
- Black cats,
- Ghosts, ghouls, and demons,
- Quoth the raven, “Nevermore,”
- Creatures of the night,
- Only comes out at midnight,
- We aren’t the Great Pumpkin, but we’ve seen it on T,
- Double-Double Boil and Bubble Rotating P!
“Going Back” (Band forms Double-Double Rotating P)
You can’t kill us… we’re already dead.
Halftime
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a cold and calculating look at budgetary problems.
“Princeton Forward”
Like Rosanne Barr on one foot, budgets are tough to balance. When we heard the U.S. Government was in the hole, the Band wanted to lend a hand. Here are some of our suggestions for raising money:
- Congress could hold their first annual car wash.
- The Marion Barry tapes could be re-released for VHS and Beta.
- The government could raffle off Dan Quayle’s Nintendo collection.
- The D.E.A. could hold a brownie sale.
Forming a kilo…uh, a box of brownies on the field, the Band raises its consciousness and national revenues.
“Up, Up and Away” (Band forms a brownie)
They say that a penny saved is a penny earned, but $10 billion saved is even better. One way the government could try to save some money would be to cut Dan Quayle’s allowance. They could also force Bush to take unpaid vacations, thus reducing his paid workdays to ten per year. And since he’s off so much of the time, does he really need a thousand points of light? Let’s just give him five hundred….and a night light for Dan. But none of this would even be necessary if they made just a few reductions in defense spending. Saluting a $10,000 budgetary tool, the Band shows Bush how to cut the Pentagon down to size.
“Mack the Knife” (Band forms a pentagon which changes to a square)
The Columbia band learned everything it knows about balancing a budget from watching our government in action. A penetrating investigation came up with this secret copy of the Columbia band’s budget:
income $ 2000.00
music $ 0.25
cab fare $ 20.00
tips $ 457.00
legal council $ 100.00
Era (because protein gets out protein) $ 400.00
hand-held power pools $ 750.00
brownies and related foodstuffs $ 900.00,
and cold fusion research $ 4.5 billion
Forming an imbalanced budget, we salute Columbia’s imbalanced band.
“My Favorite Things” (Band forms a balance)
Yo Band….Get Out!
