Columbia 2005
Columbia at Princeton
October 1st, 2005
Princeton wins 43-3
Pregame
Holla!!! At the Princeton University Band!
(Play Cannon)
We tried to make a joke about Columbia, but you guys are just so…ugh…banal, mundane, uninteresting, that we came up with nothing. So here are several things we think are funny, and may or may not be tangentially related to your LAME-iversity:
Saluting Columbia’s problems by forming a small “c”, the Band plays “Roar, Lion Roar”.
(Play Roar, Lion Roar)
And now: Obeying your thirst Doing the Dew Making 7-UP YOURS Being you, doing what you do Giving you wings Made from the best stuff on Earth Got Milk? Tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper Living the High Life Tapping the Rockies 100% taste, 0% calories Straight from the grove Good to the last drop We’re juice guys Is it in you? It’s the Double-Double-Rotating P!
Halftime
Magestically gliding onto the field like an innocent baby seal, it’s the Princeton University band!
(Princeton Forward)
As you may have noticed, the Band spent all summer workin’ out, and now we’re ripped! For those of you who lack the Band’s dedication to fitness, we’ve compiled a list of the hottest new diet trends:
Forming Muppet crumbs, the Band plays “The Muppet Show”
(Muppet Show)
It’s tough being really, really, ridiculously good-looking. But it’s just not enough to be SUPER BUFF! We here in the Band also have impeccable fashion sense. To help Columbia out, we’d like to present the first episode of Princeton Eye for the Columbia Guy:
Forming a club, the Band plays “Beat It”.
(Beat It)
Thanks for tuning in. Join us next week when the Band performs some impromptu dentistry on the Colgate Band.
October 1st, 2005
Princeton wins 43-3
Pregame
Holla!!! At the Princeton University Band!
(Play Cannon)
We tried to make a joke about Columbia, but you guys are just so…ugh…banal, mundane, uninteresting, that we came up with nothing. So here are several things we think are funny, and may or may not be tangentially related to your LAME-iversity:
- Dinosaurs wearing hats
- Beating up old people
- Karim, the guy who works at the Wa
- Muppets with firearms
- Undead Viking Pirates from beyond the grave!
- Wyoming….seriously, WTF?!
- Sexual Inadequacy
Saluting Columbia’s problems by forming a small “c”, the Band plays “Roar, Lion Roar”.
(Play Roar, Lion Roar)
And now: Obeying your thirst Doing the Dew Making 7-UP YOURS Being you, doing what you do Giving you wings Made from the best stuff on Earth Got Milk? Tastes more like regular Dr. Pepper Living the High Life Tapping the Rockies 100% taste, 0% calories Straight from the grove Good to the last drop We’re juice guys Is it in you? It’s the Double-Double-Rotating P!
Halftime
Magestically gliding onto the field like an innocent baby seal, it’s the Princeton University band!
(Princeton Forward)
As you may have noticed, the Band spent all summer workin’ out, and now we’re ripped! For those of you who lack the Band’s dedication to fitness, we’ve compiled a list of the hottest new diet trends:
- The Zombie Diet: All Braaaaains
- The TI Diet: All hot dogs (and occasional vomit)
- The Peter Singer Diet: All babies
- The Independent Student Union Diet: All squirrels
- The BALCO Diet: All flaxseed oil and B-12
- Dean Malkiel’s Diet: Your GPA
- The 5th Quintile Diet: Dean Malkiel’s dog
- The Big Muppet Diet: Smaller Muppets
Forming Muppet crumbs, the Band plays “The Muppet Show”
(Muppet Show)
It’s tough being really, really, ridiculously good-looking. But it’s just not enough to be SUPER BUFF! We here in the Band also have impeccable fashion sense. To help Columbia out, we’d like to present the first episode of Princeton Eye for the Columbia Guy:
- No pastels except baby-blue, which is fabulous.
- Plaid pants, no. Plaid jackets, yes.
- Popped collar for a priest, yes. Popped collars for YOU, no.
- Liederhosen, yes. Jackboots and goose-stepping, no.
- Paying $300 to look like a hobo, no.
- Beating the crap out of a hobo and taking his clothes, yes.
- Dressing up to go clubbin’, yes. Dressing up to go seal-clubbin? OH Yes!
Forming a club, the Band plays “Beat It”.
(Beat It)
Thanks for tuning in. Join us next week when the Band performs some impromptu dentistry on the Colgate Band.
