Columbia 2018
Princeton at Columbia
September 28th, 2018
Princeton wins 45-10
Pregame:
Feared by no one and eaten by all, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
New York has a temper problem. A distemper problem. Since the beginning of the summer, raccoons in Central Park have been showing up with canine distemper virus, the second leading cause of death in raccoons after humans, of course. We win again, guys. Symptoms of the disease include reddened, watery eyes and fits of hysteria. They’ve also been described as looking confused. Are we sure that these are really raccoons, or are they just sleep deprived, over-worked college students aggressively searching for free food? Pouring one out for our homies, the Band forms the number you should call if you see one of these raccoons and plays 69 Dead Raccoons.
[Band forms 3-1-1 and plays 99 Red Balloons]
An article describing the raccoons from Newsweek reported that “they looked like they were circulating, wandering, and having spasms.” Oh no! Isn’t that what we look like in our Double-Double Rotating P?
[Band forms our Double-Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away band, it’s raccoon stomping time!
Halftime:
Lucky for you guys, I have no shame, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
Today’s game is quite the Princeton-Columbia match-up, but there’s another big matchup happening in the state of Texas. Princeton alum, Ted Cruz ’92, and Columbia alum, Beto O’Rourke ’95 are fighting for the lone star state’s senate seat. It’s pretty rare that there’s a Princeton-Columbia matchup where Columbia actually has a chance, but it’s happening. We definitely wouldn’t want to be in the middle of either of these catfights. Forming two butting heads, the band plays The Middle.
[Band forms two butting heads and plays The Middle]
Ted Cruz recently tweeted that “if Beto wins, BBQ will be illegal!” But BBQ is a Texas staple, you can’t possibly do that! It would be like banning the Jets from losing or banning cold indifferent stares on the subway, or like banning the Columbia Band from playing in the library on Orgo Night. It would be like banning Vineyard Vines from Ivy League or banning Mark Zuckerberg from looking at you through your webcam. Like banning Anakin from the Jedi counsel even if he doesn’t get the rank of master. Like banning the government from spraying mind control chemicals from the back of airplanes or banning Sauron from taking the the Hobbits to Isengard. Heck, banning BBQ from Texas is like banning Payless from having all of those buy one get one ½ off deals! Forming half a shoe – seriously Payless, why can’t it just be 2-4-1?
[Band forms half a shoe and plays 241]
Run away band -- oh wait, you can’t; you only have half a shoe…
September 28th, 2018
Princeton wins 45-10
Pregame:
Feared by no one and eaten by all, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
New York has a temper problem. A distemper problem. Since the beginning of the summer, raccoons in Central Park have been showing up with canine distemper virus, the second leading cause of death in raccoons after humans, of course. We win again, guys. Symptoms of the disease include reddened, watery eyes and fits of hysteria. They’ve also been described as looking confused. Are we sure that these are really raccoons, or are they just sleep deprived, over-worked college students aggressively searching for free food? Pouring one out for our homies, the Band forms the number you should call if you see one of these raccoons and plays 69 Dead Raccoons.
[Band forms 3-1-1 and plays 99 Red Balloons]
An article describing the raccoons from Newsweek reported that “they looked like they were circulating, wandering, and having spasms.” Oh no! Isn’t that what we look like in our Double-Double Rotating P?
[Band forms our Double-Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away band, it’s raccoon stomping time!
Halftime:
Lucky for you guys, I have no shame, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
Today’s game is quite the Princeton-Columbia match-up, but there’s another big matchup happening in the state of Texas. Princeton alum, Ted Cruz ’92, and Columbia alum, Beto O’Rourke ’95 are fighting for the lone star state’s senate seat. It’s pretty rare that there’s a Princeton-Columbia matchup where Columbia actually has a chance, but it’s happening. We definitely wouldn’t want to be in the middle of either of these catfights. Forming two butting heads, the band plays The Middle.
[Band forms two butting heads and plays The Middle]
Ted Cruz recently tweeted that “if Beto wins, BBQ will be illegal!” But BBQ is a Texas staple, you can’t possibly do that! It would be like banning the Jets from losing or banning cold indifferent stares on the subway, or like banning the Columbia Band from playing in the library on Orgo Night. It would be like banning Vineyard Vines from Ivy League or banning Mark Zuckerberg from looking at you through your webcam. Like banning Anakin from the Jedi counsel even if he doesn’t get the rank of master. Like banning the government from spraying mind control chemicals from the back of airplanes or banning Sauron from taking the the Hobbits to Isengard. Heck, banning BBQ from Texas is like banning Payless from having all of those buy one get one ½ off deals! Forming half a shoe – seriously Payless, why can’t it just be 2-4-1?
[Band forms half a shoe and plays 241]
Run away band -- oh wait, you can’t; you only have half a shoe…
