Columbia 2021
Columbia at Princeton
October 2, 2021
Princeton wins 24-7
Pregame
Friends, Romans, Audience Members, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to “Princeton Cannon Song”)
We come to bury the Columbia Band, not to praise them.
The Orgo Nights that bands do live after them;
The flask is oft interred with their instruments;
So let it be with Columbia.
The noble Bored Hath told you the Band was on a limb;
If so, it was their grievous fault.
So grievous, in fact, that they riggidy recked themselves and no longer exist! They got dis-banded while we were all stuck at home–by THEMSELVES! SHAKESPEARIAN PLOT TWIST, much!
Standing above the corpse of our vanquished foe at last, the Band forms one last lowercase “c” and plays “Kiss ‘Em Goodbye.”
(Band forms “c” and plays “Kiss ‘Em Goodbye”)
In all reality, though, we miss the Columbia Band! You all were good friends and we’re sad to see you go. So sad, in fact, that our lives are spiraling, like our double-double rotating P!
(Band forms double-double rotating P and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall”)
Run away Band, you’re the scrambliest band left of the Ivies!
Halftime
Disbarred again for travel fraud, somos la banda de la universidad de Princeton!
(Band marches on to “Princeton Forward March”)
After several long, grueling weeks of school, the Band is ready for a vacation! With several thousand Covid dollars in the band budget to blow, we’ve picked out some pamphlets and narrowed down our options to the top 2 vacation spots in the world: the Republic of Colombia and…Columbia University! But it’s so hard to make a decision between the two!
Both have so many high points:
Colombia's major exports are petroleum, coffee, coal, cut flowers, and bananas.
Columbia’s exported majors are economics, computer science, and selling your soul to
finance.
Colombia has the second-highest biodiversity level in the world.
Several *novel* species of bacteria were discovered in Columbia’s showers just last week!
Both are ranked #60 in quality of life according to US News and World Report.
We need to book our plane ticket today to get the Super-Saver 70%-off deal, so please contact us with your recommendation TODAY at chloedh@princeton.edu. While we decide where to take our Holiday, we’ll get ourselves excited by forming a plane ticket and playing “Holiday.”
(Band forms a plane ticket and plays “Holiday.”)
Heads up, Folks! The responses have come in, and we’re hearing some *alarming* things about Columbia University.
Our most devoted fan, Mr. Sanchez (Mr. Roar-ee the Lion), has let us know that the tell-all docuseries “Narcos” alleges some pretty serious things about the substance habits of Columbia’s best and brightest. Labs in the basement of Havemeyer hall? Secret barges moving up and down the Hudson River? Looks like you’ve been busy, President Lee Bollinger!
Seems like the vacation location decision is basically made for us - we’re headed to New York City! Thanks, Mr. Sanchez! (Thanks, Roar-ee!)
Band forms a line and plays “Children of Sanchez.”
(Band forms a line and plays “Happy” to represent our euphoria.)
Run away, band! They’re here for us. Run! RUN! I don’t know anything, I swear I-- AHHHHH
October 2, 2021
Princeton wins 24-7
Pregame
Friends, Romans, Audience Members, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to “Princeton Cannon Song”)
We come to bury the Columbia Band, not to praise them.
The Orgo Nights that bands do live after them;
The flask is oft interred with their instruments;
So let it be with Columbia.
The noble Bored Hath told you the Band was on a limb;
If so, it was their grievous fault.
So grievous, in fact, that they riggidy recked themselves and no longer exist! They got dis-banded while we were all stuck at home–by THEMSELVES! SHAKESPEARIAN PLOT TWIST, much!
Standing above the corpse of our vanquished foe at last, the Band forms one last lowercase “c” and plays “Kiss ‘Em Goodbye.”
(Band forms “c” and plays “Kiss ‘Em Goodbye”)
In all reality, though, we miss the Columbia Band! You all were good friends and we’re sad to see you go. So sad, in fact, that our lives are spiraling, like our double-double rotating P!
(Band forms double-double rotating P and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall”)
Run away Band, you’re the scrambliest band left of the Ivies!
Halftime
Disbarred again for travel fraud, somos la banda de la universidad de Princeton!
(Band marches on to “Princeton Forward March”)
After several long, grueling weeks of school, the Band is ready for a vacation! With several thousand Covid dollars in the band budget to blow, we’ve picked out some pamphlets and narrowed down our options to the top 2 vacation spots in the world: the Republic of Colombia and…Columbia University! But it’s so hard to make a decision between the two!
Both have so many high points:
Colombia's major exports are petroleum, coffee, coal, cut flowers, and bananas.
Columbia’s exported majors are economics, computer science, and selling your soul to
finance.
Colombia has the second-highest biodiversity level in the world.
Several *novel* species of bacteria were discovered in Columbia’s showers just last week!
Both are ranked #60 in quality of life according to US News and World Report.
We need to book our plane ticket today to get the Super-Saver 70%-off deal, so please contact us with your recommendation TODAY at chloedh@princeton.edu. While we decide where to take our Holiday, we’ll get ourselves excited by forming a plane ticket and playing “Holiday.”
(Band forms a plane ticket and plays “Holiday.”)
Heads up, Folks! The responses have come in, and we’re hearing some *alarming* things about Columbia University.
Our most devoted fan, Mr. Sanchez (Mr. Roar-ee the Lion), has let us know that the tell-all docuseries “Narcos” alleges some pretty serious things about the substance habits of Columbia’s best and brightest. Labs in the basement of Havemeyer hall? Secret barges moving up and down the Hudson River? Looks like you’ve been busy, President Lee Bollinger!
Seems like the vacation location decision is basically made for us - we’re headed to New York City! Thanks, Mr. Sanchez! (Thanks, Roar-ee!)
Band forms a line and plays “Children of Sanchez.”
(Band forms a line and plays “Happy” to represent our euphoria.)
Run away, band! They’re here for us. Run! RUN! I don’t know anything, I swear I-- AHHHHH
