## Cornell 1974

Cornell at Princeton

November 23rd, 1974

Princeton wins 41-20

Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at higher mathematics.

“Princeton Forward”

The first mathematician was, of course, Adam. Although the concepts he had in hand were rather unsophisticated, we must not overlook the fundamental arithmetic relationship which Adam discovered and applied with invaluable assistance from Eve.

“Getting to Know You” (Band forms 1+1=3)

Another important mathematical concept is the geometric progression. This exhibits the interrelationship of mathematics and biology. This interrelationship was best explained by a little-known (but very knowing) instructor of mathematics who, when asked by one of his students how to evaluate a geometric progression, replied, “Just do it like a rabbit.” The socially inept student may ask, “Why

“Double Your Pleasure” (Band forms Yo)

It has come to our attention that there are those who are not fully appreciative of the intellectual (and other) pursuits of the Band. To counter these suspicions, the Band would like to present our addition to the field of topology, which we have named “Stadium Theory.” Although a thorough exposition of the details is far beyond the scope of this show, we will present here a few of the theorems for illustration.

(Well, never mind)

The enjoyment one experiences at a football stadium is directly related to the percentage of alcohol in the bloodstream.

The successful operation of the Princeton Band requires a large number of dollars. Thank you for your support.

The degree of dissatisfaction exhibited by a Princeton alumnus as he writes a letter complaining about a half-time show is often directly proportional to the square of the number of years which have passed since his graduation.

As the Band approaches the Sensual Limit, Dave Rahr tends to “poop-oop.” Think about it.

The proof of these theorems is left as an exercise for the interested observer.

“Mission Impossible” (Band forms Q.E.D.)

The Band, of course, realizes that a necessary condition for the enjoyment of any intellectual endeavor is that the person involved poses sufficient mental capacity to apologize to the members of the Concerned Alumni of Princeton, who were, no doubt, bored by this show.

“Cowbell”

November 23rd, 1974

Princeton wins 41-20

Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at higher mathematics.

“Princeton Forward”

The first mathematician was, of course, Adam. Although the concepts he had in hand were rather unsophisticated, we must not overlook the fundamental arithmetic relationship which Adam discovered and applied with invaluable assistance from Eve.

“Getting to Know You” (Band forms 1+1=3)

Another important mathematical concept is the geometric progression. This exhibits the interrelationship of mathematics and biology. This interrelationship was best explained by a little-known (but very knowing) instructor of mathematics who, when asked by one of his students how to evaluate a geometric progression, replied, “Just do it like a rabbit.” The socially inept student may ask, “Why

*rabbitus prolificus*?” The Band responds, “Y nought?” on the field.“Double Your Pleasure” (Band forms Yo)

It has come to our attention that there are those who are not fully appreciative of the intellectual (and other) pursuits of the Band. To counter these suspicions, the Band would like to present our addition to the field of topology, which we have named “Stadium Theory.” Although a thorough exposition of the details is far beyond the scope of this show, we will present here a few of the theorems for illustration.

**Theorem 1:**(Well, never mind)

**Theorem 2:**The enjoyment one experiences at a football stadium is directly related to the percentage of alcohol in the bloodstream.

**Theorem 3:**The successful operation of the Princeton Band requires a large number of dollars. Thank you for your support.

**Theorem 4:**The degree of dissatisfaction exhibited by a Princeton alumnus as he writes a letter complaining about a half-time show is often directly proportional to the square of the number of years which have passed since his graduation.

**Theorem 5 (also known as the “Dave Rahr Sensual Limit Theorem”):**As the Band approaches the Sensual Limit, Dave Rahr tends to “poop-oop.” Think about it.

The proof of these theorems is left as an exercise for the interested observer.

“Mission Impossible” (Band forms Q.E.D.)

The Band, of course, realizes that a necessary condition for the enjoyment of any intellectual endeavor is that the person involved poses sufficient mental capacity to apologize to the members of the Concerned Alumni of Princeton, who were, no doubt, bored by this show.

“Cowbell”