cornell 1980
Princeton at Cornell
September 20th, 1980
Princeton loses 7-17
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at dying institutions.
“Princeton Forward” (Band marches out to “Forward” and falls dead at trio)
Don’t worry, only the good die young. The Princeton Band is still alive and kicking. (Band kicks its legs up in the air and finishes trio still on the ground) Does anybody here remember Disco? You would if you lived in New Jersey like we do. Disco did its last dance today after a week-long bout with a fever caught last Saturday night. Though it was Hot Stuff for a while, Disco met the fate of every Bad Girl, contracting that all too prevalent social disease — too muchous too soonous. Experts could tell by the way it walked it could not keep Stayin’ Alive and would soon be Headed Up, Up to the Sky. Dr. Disco is survived by his wife Roller. The Band now delivers this touching eulogy.
“Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead” (Band forms broken record on the field)
Another dying institution is the U.S. Auto Industry. Detroit no longer seems to have the steam capable of matching the energy of foreign imports. As the American people continue to reject behind the times of gas-guzzlers, American manufacturers search the alphabet for a car that can compete with smaller Japanese models. Hoping that big business will get its caboose into gear soon, the Band suggests that Ford was right — there is a better idea.
“Working on the Railroad” (Band forms RR Xing sign) (A La Morley Safer)
And what about marriage? Young couples across the nation are finding out that marriage today is a grave undertaking. Divorce rates are punching their way up to all time highs while more and more marriages go down for the count. Even national symbol Anita Bryant’s marriage has soured, the bitter fruit of her closeted labor for love. Yet the ones to suffer the most from these disturbing trends are the children. The instability of modern home life is spawning a generation of valium popping adolescents, trapped in a seedy world of suburban playgrounds and junior high gym lockers hoping to someday hear no more society’s taunting cry of “What about yuh mothuh?”
“Walk On The Wild Side” (Band forms ‘MRS’, changes to ‘MOM’)
And now the Band would like to prove that good music never dies, it only P-Rades away!
“King Cotton” (Band forms concert shell)
And now, Cornell’s argument for mercy-killing.
September 20th, 1980
Princeton loses 7-17
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at dying institutions.
“Princeton Forward” (Band marches out to “Forward” and falls dead at trio)
Don’t worry, only the good die young. The Princeton Band is still alive and kicking. (Band kicks its legs up in the air and finishes trio still on the ground) Does anybody here remember Disco? You would if you lived in New Jersey like we do. Disco did its last dance today after a week-long bout with a fever caught last Saturday night. Though it was Hot Stuff for a while, Disco met the fate of every Bad Girl, contracting that all too prevalent social disease — too muchous too soonous. Experts could tell by the way it walked it could not keep Stayin’ Alive and would soon be Headed Up, Up to the Sky. Dr. Disco is survived by his wife Roller. The Band now delivers this touching eulogy.
“Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead” (Band forms broken record on the field)
Another dying institution is the U.S. Auto Industry. Detroit no longer seems to have the steam capable of matching the energy of foreign imports. As the American people continue to reject behind the times of gas-guzzlers, American manufacturers search the alphabet for a car that can compete with smaller Japanese models. Hoping that big business will get its caboose into gear soon, the Band suggests that Ford was right — there is a better idea.
“Working on the Railroad” (Band forms RR Xing sign) (A La Morley Safer)
And what about marriage? Young couples across the nation are finding out that marriage today is a grave undertaking. Divorce rates are punching their way up to all time highs while more and more marriages go down for the count. Even national symbol Anita Bryant’s marriage has soured, the bitter fruit of her closeted labor for love. Yet the ones to suffer the most from these disturbing trends are the children. The instability of modern home life is spawning a generation of valium popping adolescents, trapped in a seedy world of suburban playgrounds and junior high gym lockers hoping to someday hear no more society’s taunting cry of “What about yuh mothuh?”
“Walk On The Wild Side” (Band forms ‘MRS’, changes to ‘MOM’)
And now the Band would like to prove that good music never dies, it only P-Rades away!
“King Cotton” (Band forms concert shell)
And now, Cornell’s argument for mercy-killing.