Cornell 1990
Princeton at Cornell
September 15th, 1990
Outcome Unknown
Pregame
The Princeton University Band’s advance scout party, shown here, rolled into Ithaca last night looking for love in all the wrong places.
“Princeton Cannon Song”
The Band discovered last night that bigger isn’t necessarily better. It’s not the size of the band, but how well you use your instrument. Employing our full musical potential, the Band plays a fitting tribute to our favorite school with rain-swollen lakes.
A solo tuba plays “Far Above Cayuga’s Waters” (Band forms a small ‘c’)
Showing just how much better small can be, it’s the
“Going Back” (Band forms Single-Double Rotating P)
And now, please welcome the Prussian Palace Guard.
Halftime
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes an up close and personal look at things Big and Red.
“Princeton Forward”
Sports fans of all ages will long remember Pete Rose from the Big Red Machine, but unfortunately Pete’s now breaking rocks instead of records. If you think about it though, prison life’s a lot like baseball; there’s those pinstripe uniforms, that regimented life, and those showers with other men. Pete has far more in common with his fellow inmates than he might think: he knocked balls out of the park, his roomie knocked over liquor stores; he made umpires eat dust, his other roomie made his mother bite the dust. Forming Pete Rose’s view from his prison cell, the Band offers this fallen hero a little advice: don’t mess with Bubba.
“Jailhouse Rock” (Band forms vertical bars)
Pete Rose isn’t the only thing Big and Red having trouble behind an iron curtain; there’s also Russia. America’s helping to grease the wheels of that Big Red Machine with hamburger diplomacy. Boris Yeltsin, after a tough day stirring up revolution, you deserve a break today! Here’s Ronald McDonald with your foreign aid package, McGlasnost, and it comes complete with burger, small fries, soft drink, and a different action figure each week. Choose from Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky, or GI Joe with Kung Fu Grip. Isn’t the presence of a big goofy clown peddling Happy Meals just what Moscow needs to keep its republics from breaking away? Hey Band, what are you going to do now that you’ve formed an independent republic, (shown here)?
(“We’re going to Disney World!”) “Mickey Mouse March” (Band forms an independent republic)
While we’re on the subject of Big Red things, take Rosanne Barr after a long day at the beach. (“Please. No, really.”) The Band would like to salute Rosanne and all of our other favorite Big Red things by forming:
a) Mars, the Big Red planet
b) Jupiter’s Big Red Spot
c) a baboon’s Big Red Spot
d) Gorbachev’s Big Red Spot
e)
f) the Cornell band
Speaking of whom, we’d love to stay to hear their big band versions of Muzak classics, but….we gotta go now.
“Louie, Louie” (Band forms big red blob)
And now, the only real band that thinks they’re in the Ivy League….
September 15th, 1990
Outcome Unknown
Pregame
The Princeton University Band’s advance scout party, shown here, rolled into Ithaca last night looking for love in all the wrong places.
“Princeton Cannon Song”
The Band discovered last night that bigger isn’t necessarily better. It’s not the size of the band, but how well you use your instrument. Employing our full musical potential, the Band plays a fitting tribute to our favorite school with rain-swollen lakes.
A solo tuba plays “Far Above Cayuga’s Waters” (Band forms a small ‘c’)
Showing just how much better small can be, it’s the
- Bite size,
- Just one calorie,
- Individually wrapped,
- One size fits all,
- Won’t fill you up,
- All the taste and none of the guilt,
- Betcha chan’t eat just one,
- A little dab’ll do ya’,
- Fits easily in those hard-to-reach places,
- We’re not small; we’re petite,
- May be used as a carry-on item,
- We’re not the A-Team, but we’ve seen them on TV,
- Single-Double Rotating P!
“Going Back” (Band forms Single-Double Rotating P)
And now, please welcome the Prussian Palace Guard.
Halftime
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes an up close and personal look at things Big and Red.
“Princeton Forward”
Sports fans of all ages will long remember Pete Rose from the Big Red Machine, but unfortunately Pete’s now breaking rocks instead of records. If you think about it though, prison life’s a lot like baseball; there’s those pinstripe uniforms, that regimented life, and those showers with other men. Pete has far more in common with his fellow inmates than he might think: he knocked balls out of the park, his roomie knocked over liquor stores; he made umpires eat dust, his other roomie made his mother bite the dust. Forming Pete Rose’s view from his prison cell, the Band offers this fallen hero a little advice: don’t mess with Bubba.
“Jailhouse Rock” (Band forms vertical bars)
Pete Rose isn’t the only thing Big and Red having trouble behind an iron curtain; there’s also Russia. America’s helping to grease the wheels of that Big Red Machine with hamburger diplomacy. Boris Yeltsin, after a tough day stirring up revolution, you deserve a break today! Here’s Ronald McDonald with your foreign aid package, McGlasnost, and it comes complete with burger, small fries, soft drink, and a different action figure each week. Choose from Lenin, Stalin, Trotsky, or GI Joe with Kung Fu Grip. Isn’t the presence of a big goofy clown peddling Happy Meals just what Moscow needs to keep its republics from breaking away? Hey Band, what are you going to do now that you’ve formed an independent republic, (shown here)?
(“We’re going to Disney World!”) “Mickey Mouse March” (Band forms an independent republic)
While we’re on the subject of Big Red things, take Rosanne Barr after a long day at the beach. (“Please. No, really.”) The Band would like to salute Rosanne and all of our other favorite Big Red things by forming:
a) Mars, the Big Red planet
b) Jupiter’s Big Red Spot
c) a baboon’s Big Red Spot
d) Gorbachev’s Big Red Spot
e)
f) the Cornell band
Speaking of whom, we’d love to stay to hear their big band versions of Muzak classics, but….we gotta go now.
“Louie, Louie” (Band forms big red blob)
And now, the only real band that thinks they’re in the Ivy League….
