cornell 2004
Princeton at Cornell
October 30th, 2004
Princeton loses 20-21
Pregame
Hide the women and children! It’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Cannon Song”
Halloween is upon us, and we’ve already been trick-or-treating. Here are some candies we’ve been taking care to avoid.
Forming a little ‘c’ for ‘Candy Coated Cornell’, the Band says, “You are what you eat.”
(Band forms little ‘c’ and plays “Far Above Cayuga’s Waters”)
And now… Shakin’ the bacon Flogging the log Waxing the bishop Getting down and dirty Honking the horn Polishing the telescope Winding the jack-in-the-box Launching the pocket rocket Riding the five-legged pony Tugging the tapioca tube Churning the nut butter Driving the Ferrari in first gear Teasing the one-eyed trouser mouse Squeezing the happy lumberjack Taking the sperm whale for a walk Rubbing the lamp to summon the genie and Stroking the Shaolin Wang, it’s the Double-Double Rotating P!
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”)
Run away, Band! Baby Jesus is crying.
Halftime
Boldly going where no Band has gone before, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Forward”
Captain’s Log, Stardate 666.69. Starfleet has ordered us to perform an annual probe of the ice-covered planet of Ithaca. This planet is inhabited by a strange race that call themselves Cornellians. They have adapted themselves to a life without liquid water or sunlight. It is not understood how they continue to exist, as they have never been observed to reproduce. They eke out a meager subsistence based on agriculture, architecture, human ecology, and hotel administration. They have trade relations with the nearby planet of Colgate, with whom they exchange cows for toothpaste. They also send their misfits into exile by throwing them into one of the planet’s gorges. Forming a gorge, the Band says, “It’s the new Jailhouse Rock.”
(Band forms a gorge and plays “Jailhouse Rock”; Drum Major falls down the gorge)
Captain’s Log, supplemental. We have dispatched an away team to the planet’s surface, to monitor and diagnose the Cornellians. We were surprised to find the colony completely deserted. All that’s left are a bunch of ugly buildings and a gorge full of dead cows. Archaeological evidence indicates that this civilization’s demise was due to poor hotel management and hostile labor relations. Deep under the ice, we found… a Big Red. We still don’t know what it is, but spectral analysis indicates that it can neither play football nor march. Not knowing what a Big Red is, the Band forms one anyway and plays “Chameleon”.
(Band forms an amorphous blob and plays “Chameleon”)
Beam us up, Scotty! Anything that’s big and red is probably infected.
October 30th, 2004
Princeton loses 20-21
Pregame
Hide the women and children! It’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Cannon Song”
Halloween is upon us, and we’ve already been trick-or-treating. Here are some candies we’ve been taking care to avoid.
- Lard Pops
- Roofies Peanut Butter Cups
- Fiberglass Cotton Candy
- Hershey’s Kiss of Death
- Chocolate Covered Ecstasy
- Girl Scout Cookies, made from real Girl Scouts
- And lastly, Big Red.
Forming a little ‘c’ for ‘Candy Coated Cornell’, the Band says, “You are what you eat.”
(Band forms little ‘c’ and plays “Far Above Cayuga’s Waters”)
And now… Shakin’ the bacon Flogging the log Waxing the bishop Getting down and dirty Honking the horn Polishing the telescope Winding the jack-in-the-box Launching the pocket rocket Riding the five-legged pony Tugging the tapioca tube Churning the nut butter Driving the Ferrari in first gear Teasing the one-eyed trouser mouse Squeezing the happy lumberjack Taking the sperm whale for a walk Rubbing the lamp to summon the genie and Stroking the Shaolin Wang, it’s the Double-Double Rotating P!
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”)
Run away, Band! Baby Jesus is crying.
Halftime
Boldly going where no Band has gone before, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Forward”
Captain’s Log, Stardate 666.69. Starfleet has ordered us to perform an annual probe of the ice-covered planet of Ithaca. This planet is inhabited by a strange race that call themselves Cornellians. They have adapted themselves to a life without liquid water or sunlight. It is not understood how they continue to exist, as they have never been observed to reproduce. They eke out a meager subsistence based on agriculture, architecture, human ecology, and hotel administration. They have trade relations with the nearby planet of Colgate, with whom they exchange cows for toothpaste. They also send their misfits into exile by throwing them into one of the planet’s gorges. Forming a gorge, the Band says, “It’s the new Jailhouse Rock.”
(Band forms a gorge and plays “Jailhouse Rock”; Drum Major falls down the gorge)
Captain’s Log, supplemental. We have dispatched an away team to the planet’s surface, to monitor and diagnose the Cornellians. We were surprised to find the colony completely deserted. All that’s left are a bunch of ugly buildings and a gorge full of dead cows. Archaeological evidence indicates that this civilization’s demise was due to poor hotel management and hostile labor relations. Deep under the ice, we found… a Big Red. We still don’t know what it is, but spectral analysis indicates that it can neither play football nor march. Not knowing what a Big Red is, the Band forms one anyway and plays “Chameleon”.
(Band forms an amorphous blob and plays “Chameleon”)
Beam us up, Scotty! Anything that’s big and red is probably infected.