Cornell 2018
Cornell at Princeton
October 27th, 2018
Princeton wins 66-0
Pregame:
Zoologically improbable and/or terrifying to small children, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
The Princeton University Band would like to present: a tribute to some of the output from researches in Cornell’s College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. Just recently, Cornell has released a new kind of grape – the Everest Seedless. The name boasts about its size, because it can barely fit in your mouth! A Cornell professor says that this seedless variety is meant to be eaten fresh, so it can “leave the mouth full of juice.” There ain’t no wine-ing about that, perhaps they really have succeeded in this grape endeavor.
[Band forms grapes and plays Love Drunk]
But this isn’t the first super food craze to come out of Ithaca. We have to wonder… will this turn out like e-Moo? Cornell developed e-Moo, a carbonated, healthy milk drink in 2001. They claimed that one of the main benefits was that it would be able to last longer. Unfortunately, e-Moo didn’t end up lasting very long, much like our Double-Double Rotating P!
[Band forms the Double-Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away band, word has it those grapes have been genetically engineered with extra wrath!
Halftime:
Going bump in the night, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
It’s the spooky season of Halloween and the ghosts of Princeton are out and about. But the afterlife is pretty boring, and the ghosts have nothing to do but compare legacies in an aggressive and rhythmic format. Attempting a rap battle in ghostly white, allow me to introduce the ghosts of Aaron Burr and Woodrow Wilson.
Wilson - Aaron Burr, Sir- I never thought I’d get to see
A Princeton Politician with a legacy as bad as me
You tainted your past with a devilish rigor
And now you’re a supporting actor with a finger on the trigger
Burr - Sick burn, Woody Woo, but that was pretty lame,
Even from someone with the word ‘wood’ in your name
Like Han Solo I shot first, and I’m still standing tall
While you can’t even keep your picture in the dining hall
Wilson - You’re just the president of vice,
I was president twice.
University and nation,
I got all the acclamation.
You did nothing of your own,
While I’m sittin’ on two thrones.
[Band forms 2 and plays Game of Thrones]
Burr - Your presidential tenures were far from trouble-free
As you tried to oust the eating clubs and diversity
Your spartan res college may be riot free
But I was at this nation’s birth, you just showed the movie
Wilson - You got no bars nor flow, but I’ve got rhyme and reason
Your misadventures in the West got you arrested for treason
Your desp’rate flight to Europe was truly obscene
You haven’t made a single point, I got fourteen
Burr: Like the snakes in your major, you are pretty slow,
You were barely reading while I studied Cicero
Came to Old Nassau at the ripe age of 13
Doing dope calculus, can’t stop this smarts machine
Yeah Mr. Woody, that’s right,
I’m Mr. Bright!
[Band forms a lightbulb and plays Mr. Brightside]
Run away band, Woodrow Wilson is spinning in his grave.
(Nathaniel Hontz '21 contributed as a guest announcer to have a proper rap battle with two different people.)
October 27th, 2018
Princeton wins 66-0
Pregame:
Zoologically improbable and/or terrifying to small children, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
The Princeton University Band would like to present: a tribute to some of the output from researches in Cornell’s College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. Just recently, Cornell has released a new kind of grape – the Everest Seedless. The name boasts about its size, because it can barely fit in your mouth! A Cornell professor says that this seedless variety is meant to be eaten fresh, so it can “leave the mouth full of juice.” There ain’t no wine-ing about that, perhaps they really have succeeded in this grape endeavor.
[Band forms grapes and plays Love Drunk]
But this isn’t the first super food craze to come out of Ithaca. We have to wonder… will this turn out like e-Moo? Cornell developed e-Moo, a carbonated, healthy milk drink in 2001. They claimed that one of the main benefits was that it would be able to last longer. Unfortunately, e-Moo didn’t end up lasting very long, much like our Double-Double Rotating P!
[Band forms the Double-Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away band, word has it those grapes have been genetically engineered with extra wrath!
Halftime:
Going bump in the night, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
It’s the spooky season of Halloween and the ghosts of Princeton are out and about. But the afterlife is pretty boring, and the ghosts have nothing to do but compare legacies in an aggressive and rhythmic format. Attempting a rap battle in ghostly white, allow me to introduce the ghosts of Aaron Burr and Woodrow Wilson.
Wilson - Aaron Burr, Sir- I never thought I’d get to see
A Princeton Politician with a legacy as bad as me
You tainted your past with a devilish rigor
And now you’re a supporting actor with a finger on the trigger
Burr - Sick burn, Woody Woo, but that was pretty lame,
Even from someone with the word ‘wood’ in your name
Like Han Solo I shot first, and I’m still standing tall
While you can’t even keep your picture in the dining hall
Wilson - You’re just the president of vice,
I was president twice.
University and nation,
I got all the acclamation.
You did nothing of your own,
While I’m sittin’ on two thrones.
[Band forms 2 and plays Game of Thrones]
Burr - Your presidential tenures were far from trouble-free
As you tried to oust the eating clubs and diversity
Your spartan res college may be riot free
But I was at this nation’s birth, you just showed the movie
Wilson - You got no bars nor flow, but I’ve got rhyme and reason
Your misadventures in the West got you arrested for treason
Your desp’rate flight to Europe was truly obscene
You haven’t made a single point, I got fourteen
Burr: Like the snakes in your major, you are pretty slow,
You were barely reading while I studied Cicero
Came to Old Nassau at the ripe age of 13
Doing dope calculus, can’t stop this smarts machine
Yeah Mr. Woody, that’s right,
I’m Mr. Bright!
[Band forms a lightbulb and plays Mr. Brightside]
Run away band, Woodrow Wilson is spinning in his grave.
(Nathaniel Hontz '21 contributed as a guest announcer to have a proper rap battle with two different people.)