Cornell 2019
Princeton at Cornell
November 1st, 2019
Princeton wins 21-7
Pregame:
Having no relevance to an athletic contest...it’s the Princeton University band!
Princeton’s tiger mascot has encased many a sweaty bod during its tenure as a suit. Do you ever wonder who is really in it though? We’ve had quite the variety of people in our furry friend, from the humble Princeton student to Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau. The inside of that suit has seen it all. Urban legend has it that those who venture in never come back quite the same. I’ve heard that some even go mad. The Princeton band took it upon themselves to solve the mystery of the tiger mascot. They will be sending yours truly to put on that very suit and to uncover its hidden secrets. Just a zip and you can call me the tiger.
[Band forms a zipper and plays You Can Call Me Al]
I’m back! A lightbulb really DOES appear over your head when you have an idea! Bees DO produce milk! I’ve seen the light! And so has our double double rotating P!
[Band forms a Double Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away band! It’s your turn in the spirit suit.
Halftime:
A disagreeable beast characterized by a fetid odor, it’s the PUB!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
You might know that the Cornell mascot used to be a live bear called Touchdown. However, you probably don’t know that Princeton used to have a live Tiger named Safety. In fact, the safety in football is named after him, not the other way around. Athletics used to house Safety in an end zone during the game, so that players ran the risk of being attacked by the tiger if they got tackled in their own end zone. Players quickly found that taunting him with an orange-and-black plaid rag would quickly anger and tire Safety. The most impressive tiger- fighters in the team would be awarded 2 points. Forming an eye-catching tiger-baiting rag, the band plays Eye of the Tiger.
[Band forms a square and plays Eye of the Tiger]
In 1969, after too many quarter-backs received unfortunate tiger-related injuries, Safety was moved off the field---but not for good. For the following twenty years, every time the team scored a safety, he would be let loose on the field along with 6 gazelles with the letters S-A-F-E- T-Y on them (that’s why there’s no safeties these days). To save on printing costs, athletics once tried one gazelle with the word safety, but the gazelle ate Safety in a cruel trick of nature. Some say, when Princeton scores a touchdown to this day, you can hear his compressed roar over the PA system. Forming a broken .mp3 file on the field, the band plays Livin’ on a PA System.
[Band forms a squiggly sine wave and plays Livin’ on a Prayer]
Run away band, here comes that tiger.
The Cut Pregame
Bill bill bill bill bill its the Princeton University Band *to the tune of Bill Nye the science guy* Brought to you by: entropy.
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
Hi I’m Bill Nye, Cornell’s most famous alum.. Consider the following: each Ivy League is a form of chicken. Let’s take a closer look at this phenomenon. Columbia is a singular buffalo wing. Brown is a 🅱️one-in vegan chicken nugget. Haahvahd would be an immaculately-prepared breast of chicken slathered in gray poupon. Inertia is a property of matter. Princeton is yo mama’s home-made chicken pot pie. Cornell is obviously chicken nuggets, especially since its second most famous alum after me is the inventor of the chicken nugget, Robert C. Baker, also known as the chicken nugget man. Are chicken nuggets even real chicken? Attempting to find out, the band forms a chicken nugget and plays You can call me Nugget Man.
[Band forms a chicken nugget and plays You Can Call Me Al]
Here’s a nifty home experiment that even you hotel administration majors can do: it’s the double-double rotating P!
[Band forms a double double rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Well that’s our show. If you’ll excuse us, we’ve got some running away to do. See ya!
Note: This show was not cut for any inappropriate jokes, but because it did not have any relevance to the athletic contest at hand, which made Cornell deem it unacceptable. It's censorship!
November 1st, 2019
Princeton wins 21-7
Pregame:
Having no relevance to an athletic contest...it’s the Princeton University band!
Princeton’s tiger mascot has encased many a sweaty bod during its tenure as a suit. Do you ever wonder who is really in it though? We’ve had quite the variety of people in our furry friend, from the humble Princeton student to Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau. The inside of that suit has seen it all. Urban legend has it that those who venture in never come back quite the same. I’ve heard that some even go mad. The Princeton band took it upon themselves to solve the mystery of the tiger mascot. They will be sending yours truly to put on that very suit and to uncover its hidden secrets. Just a zip and you can call me the tiger.
[Band forms a zipper and plays You Can Call Me Al]
I’m back! A lightbulb really DOES appear over your head when you have an idea! Bees DO produce milk! I’ve seen the light! And so has our double double rotating P!
[Band forms a Double Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Run away band! It’s your turn in the spirit suit.
Halftime:
A disagreeable beast characterized by a fetid odor, it’s the PUB!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
You might know that the Cornell mascot used to be a live bear called Touchdown. However, you probably don’t know that Princeton used to have a live Tiger named Safety. In fact, the safety in football is named after him, not the other way around. Athletics used to house Safety in an end zone during the game, so that players ran the risk of being attacked by the tiger if they got tackled in their own end zone. Players quickly found that taunting him with an orange-and-black plaid rag would quickly anger and tire Safety. The most impressive tiger- fighters in the team would be awarded 2 points. Forming an eye-catching tiger-baiting rag, the band plays Eye of the Tiger.
[Band forms a square and plays Eye of the Tiger]
In 1969, after too many quarter-backs received unfortunate tiger-related injuries, Safety was moved off the field---but not for good. For the following twenty years, every time the team scored a safety, he would be let loose on the field along with 6 gazelles with the letters S-A-F-E- T-Y on them (that’s why there’s no safeties these days). To save on printing costs, athletics once tried one gazelle with the word safety, but the gazelle ate Safety in a cruel trick of nature. Some say, when Princeton scores a touchdown to this day, you can hear his compressed roar over the PA system. Forming a broken .mp3 file on the field, the band plays Livin’ on a PA System.
[Band forms a squiggly sine wave and plays Livin’ on a Prayer]
Run away band, here comes that tiger.
The Cut Pregame
Bill bill bill bill bill its the Princeton University Band *to the tune of Bill Nye the science guy* Brought to you by: entropy.
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
Hi I’m Bill Nye, Cornell’s most famous alum.. Consider the following: each Ivy League is a form of chicken. Let’s take a closer look at this phenomenon. Columbia is a singular buffalo wing. Brown is a 🅱️one-in vegan chicken nugget. Haahvahd would be an immaculately-prepared breast of chicken slathered in gray poupon. Inertia is a property of matter. Princeton is yo mama’s home-made chicken pot pie. Cornell is obviously chicken nuggets, especially since its second most famous alum after me is the inventor of the chicken nugget, Robert C. Baker, also known as the chicken nugget man. Are chicken nuggets even real chicken? Attempting to find out, the band forms a chicken nugget and plays You can call me Nugget Man.
[Band forms a chicken nugget and plays You Can Call Me Al]
Here’s a nifty home experiment that even you hotel administration majors can do: it’s the double-double rotating P!
[Band forms a double double rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Well that’s our show. If you’ll excuse us, we’ve got some running away to do. See ya!
Note: This show was not cut for any inappropriate jokes, but because it did not have any relevance to the athletic contest at hand, which made Cornell deem it unacceptable. It's censorship!
