Dartmouth 1970
Princeton at Dartmouth
October 10th, 1970
Princeton loses 0-38
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band invites you to spend a long, hard night at the movies.
“Princeton Forward”
The Band first zeroes in on the escalation of war movies. Whether glorifying the thrusts of mighty armies into the Battle of the Bulge, or poking fun at noncoms at the rear, these flicks all specialize in good, clean blood ‘n guts. Although bombing with the critics, such movies have made a killing at the box office. This leads the Band to belive that the producers are not interested in war, but in… “More”
(Band changes ‘MASH’ to ‘CASH’)
Turning from blood and guts, to studs and sluts, we, as decent, well-mannered citizens deplore the current entry of so-called “Blue Movies” or “Skin Flicks” from abroad. These sensationalists film strips tease the unwary movie goer with unadulterated bunk and fantasy. Despite the lurid claims of promoters that these films have redeeming social value, the Band cautions movie goers that… “It Ain’t Necessarily So”
(Band changes ‘PORN’ to ‘CORN’)
Speaking of busts, the Band observes that two recent flicks, “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls,” and “Myra Breckenridge,” were not all they were stacked up to be. These mammoth productions were overly injected with sex and unusual behavior to lure the clean upstanding boys in green. Forming an inflated image, the Band hopes that future movies will not rely on blatant sex to attract an audience. “This Could Be The Start of Something Big”
(Band forms ’38D’)
Even more disgusting than these new fads is the trend toward movie sequels, the repeated repetition of boring first run mistakes. Because many were left hanging by “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls,” “Beneath the Planet of the Apes,” and “I am Curious Blue,” the Band offers its own sequel, “I AM NAUSEAUS, GREEN,” the story of a sweet Danish nymph who comes to the bleak New Hampshire wilderness seeking warmth and a deeper relationship with mankind. As the Band forms a) bleak New Hampshire wilderness, or b) a deeper relationship, we hear the maiden cry out… “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”
(Band forms blob)
October 10th, 1970
Princeton loses 0-38
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band invites you to spend a long, hard night at the movies.
“Princeton Forward”
The Band first zeroes in on the escalation of war movies. Whether glorifying the thrusts of mighty armies into the Battle of the Bulge, or poking fun at noncoms at the rear, these flicks all specialize in good, clean blood ‘n guts. Although bombing with the critics, such movies have made a killing at the box office. This leads the Band to belive that the producers are not interested in war, but in… “More”
(Band changes ‘MASH’ to ‘CASH’)
Turning from blood and guts, to studs and sluts, we, as decent, well-mannered citizens deplore the current entry of so-called “Blue Movies” or “Skin Flicks” from abroad. These sensationalists film strips tease the unwary movie goer with unadulterated bunk and fantasy. Despite the lurid claims of promoters that these films have redeeming social value, the Band cautions movie goers that… “It Ain’t Necessarily So”
(Band changes ‘PORN’ to ‘CORN’)
Speaking of busts, the Band observes that two recent flicks, “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls,” and “Myra Breckenridge,” were not all they were stacked up to be. These mammoth productions were overly injected with sex and unusual behavior to lure the clean upstanding boys in green. Forming an inflated image, the Band hopes that future movies will not rely on blatant sex to attract an audience. “This Could Be The Start of Something Big”
(Band forms ’38D’)
Even more disgusting than these new fads is the trend toward movie sequels, the repeated repetition of boring first run mistakes. Because many were left hanging by “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls,” “Beneath the Planet of the Apes,” and “I am Curious Blue,” the Band offers its own sequel, “I AM NAUSEAUS, GREEN,” the story of a sweet Danish nymph who comes to the bleak New Hampshire wilderness seeking warmth and a deeper relationship with mankind. As the Band forms a) bleak New Hampshire wilderness, or b) a deeper relationship, we hear the maiden cry out… “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”
(Band forms blob)
