Dartmouth 1980
Dartmouth at Princeton
November 22nd, 1980
Princeton wins 27-24
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at Princeton in the future. “Princeton Forward” (Band plays Twilight Zone theme before stepping off) November 22, 1984 — and 1984 is really here. Big Brother Anderson Brown broadcasts the day’s mind control message:
The alumni are ecstatic — now the undergrads are as mindless as they once were. But, amid the growing blackness, there still survives an orange flicker of hope and freedom — the Princeton Band, which now takes matters into its own hands. As cries of “The band is revolting! The band is revolting!” echo through Nassau Hall, the only truly intelligent organization in the university takes control, and freedom and foul halftime shows return.
“Battle Hymn Of The Republic” (Band forms a bomb whose fuse gets shorter and shorter until at the very end of the song, the bomb explodes.)
November 22, 2525 — and Princeton has changed. Tuition is now 300,000 dollars a year — just half the price of a pitcher at the pub. The sex ratio is now 2 to 1 to 4, but the administration promises that fewer engineers will be admitted next year. Hotpots are still banned as heat-producing devices, but now so are light bulbs, King’s Inn chili, and Sweet Briar girls. Similar pressures have been felt up and down the Ivy League. The only student loans at Yale are to the university. The only girls at Hahvahd are still from Wellesley — if you don’t count MIT. And Dartmouth has banned sheep.
“In the Year 2525” (Band forms ‘BAA’ which changes to ‘BAN’)
November 22, 2980: Archeologists set out to find the origins of intelligent life in the universe. Finding only sheep remaining in Hanover and nothing at all in Bahstahn, they begin excavations on a quiet hillside amid the desolation and destruction that is and always has been New Jersey. They uncover 2000 hidden hotpots, a large green doughnut shaped object, and a record of music so grand that there could only be one source. Across the years and the universe, for marching, for Playing, and for entertaining, the legend of the Princeton University Band lives on.
“Stars and Stripes Forever” (Band forms script ‘PU’ surrounded by high school bands and plays…)
“Orange and the Black”(Upon conclusion of the O and the B, the Band executes a swift double rippled tip of the hat, ending yet another fine season of music, marching, merriment, and mirth.)
November 22nd, 1980
Princeton wins 27-24
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at Princeton in the future. “Princeton Forward” (Band plays Twilight Zone theme before stepping off) November 22, 1984 — and 1984 is really here. Big Brother Anderson Brown broadcasts the day’s mind control message:
- You will not use hot-pots.
- You will not violate the honor code — when someone is looking.
- You will not mention sheep when the Dartmouth band is in town.
- You will live in residential colleges — and like them.
The alumni are ecstatic — now the undergrads are as mindless as they once were. But, amid the growing blackness, there still survives an orange flicker of hope and freedom — the Princeton Band, which now takes matters into its own hands. As cries of “The band is revolting! The band is revolting!” echo through Nassau Hall, the only truly intelligent organization in the university takes control, and freedom and foul halftime shows return.
“Battle Hymn Of The Republic” (Band forms a bomb whose fuse gets shorter and shorter until at the very end of the song, the bomb explodes.)
November 22, 2525 — and Princeton has changed. Tuition is now 300,000 dollars a year — just half the price of a pitcher at the pub. The sex ratio is now 2 to 1 to 4, but the administration promises that fewer engineers will be admitted next year. Hotpots are still banned as heat-producing devices, but now so are light bulbs, King’s Inn chili, and Sweet Briar girls. Similar pressures have been felt up and down the Ivy League. The only student loans at Yale are to the university. The only girls at Hahvahd are still from Wellesley — if you don’t count MIT. And Dartmouth has banned sheep.
“In the Year 2525” (Band forms ‘BAA’ which changes to ‘BAN’)
November 22, 2980: Archeologists set out to find the origins of intelligent life in the universe. Finding only sheep remaining in Hanover and nothing at all in Bahstahn, they begin excavations on a quiet hillside amid the desolation and destruction that is and always has been New Jersey. They uncover 2000 hidden hotpots, a large green doughnut shaped object, and a record of music so grand that there could only be one source. Across the years and the universe, for marching, for Playing, and for entertaining, the legend of the Princeton University Band lives on.
“Stars and Stripes Forever” (Band forms script ‘PU’ surrounded by high school bands and plays…)
“Orange and the Black”(Upon conclusion of the O and the B, the Band executes a swift double rippled tip of the hat, ending yet another fine season of music, marching, merriment, and mirth.)