Dartmouth 1982
Dartmouth at Princeton
November 13th, 1982
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at…things we haven’t abused lately.
“Princeton Forward”
Once upon a time there were three little pigs. Each little pig built a residential college to keep out the big, bad upperclassmen. The first little pig put together many old, scattered dorms, but it was a dumb idea and they fell down. The second little pig found a bunch of new buildings and named his residential college after a famous school for public and international affairs, but that too fell down. But the third little pig found some new new buildings and began to build a new new dining facility out of big strong bricks. But it fell down before it could be completed. Ha! Ha! The Band doesn’t get Mathey, they get even.
“Get it On” (Band forms three rectangles which fall down, one by one)
The following sweeping generalizations and ridiculously simple solutions to complex problems are presented by a group of former students interested in returning this most-exalted University to the moral and ethical principles upon which Princeton was founded.
Wouldn’t that be nice? These Band shorts have been brought to you by the caring, responsible alumni of Princeton.
“Princeton Sons” (Band forms four blobs which form ‘C.R.A.P.’ at the end)
One of our oldest and dearest friends is leaving the University, and the band would like to take this opportunity to get in one last hot pot shot at J. Anderson Brown. So…This is your life, Andy Brown. Do you remember this voice out of your past? “AAAAH, it’s a drug bust!” And remember when the Band was in trouble last year? You came to the rescure by wisely changing our sexually-repulsive line “Law students can study each others’ briefs” to this rib-ticklin’, side-splittin’ kneeslapper: “Law students can study each others’ shorts.” Ha! Ha! Luckily, we didn’t take your advice then, Andy. But seriously folks, we’d like to thank Andy for being such a wonderful lame duck this year. (Entire band quacks) Commemorating Andy’s class on the field, the Band asks, “What time is it, Andy?”
“Carol Burnett Theme” (Band forms ’69)
And as we conclude our 1982 season, the Band would like to thank everyone for the support and applause that we have received throughout the entire season. Ttthhhat’s all folks.
“St. Louis Blues” (Band forms concert shell)
And this is your announcer, Larry “You can’t say my last name” Wiener signing off for the final time.
November 13th, 1982
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at…things we haven’t abused lately.
“Princeton Forward”
Once upon a time there were three little pigs. Each little pig built a residential college to keep out the big, bad upperclassmen. The first little pig put together many old, scattered dorms, but it was a dumb idea and they fell down. The second little pig found a bunch of new buildings and named his residential college after a famous school for public and international affairs, but that too fell down. But the third little pig found some new new buildings and began to build a new new dining facility out of big strong bricks. But it fell down before it could be completed. Ha! Ha! The Band doesn’t get Mathey, they get even.
“Get it On” (Band forms three rectangles which fall down, one by one)
The following sweeping generalizations and ridiculously simple solutions to complex problems are presented by a group of former students interested in returning this most-exalted University to the moral and ethical principles upon which Princeton was founded.
- Let’s issue all students cats and hotpots at registration.
- Let’s eliminate bicker.
- Let’s give everyone more financial aid.
- Let’s remove all religious symbols from the University Chapel.
- Let’s hire more extra-terrestials for responsible positions in the administration.
Wouldn’t that be nice? These Band shorts have been brought to you by the caring, responsible alumni of Princeton.
“Princeton Sons” (Band forms four blobs which form ‘C.R.A.P.’ at the end)
One of our oldest and dearest friends is leaving the University, and the band would like to take this opportunity to get in one last hot pot shot at J. Anderson Brown. So…This is your life, Andy Brown. Do you remember this voice out of your past? “AAAAH, it’s a drug bust!” And remember when the Band was in trouble last year? You came to the rescure by wisely changing our sexually-repulsive line “Law students can study each others’ briefs” to this rib-ticklin’, side-splittin’ kneeslapper: “Law students can study each others’ shorts.” Ha! Ha! Luckily, we didn’t take your advice then, Andy. But seriously folks, we’d like to thank Andy for being such a wonderful lame duck this year. (Entire band quacks) Commemorating Andy’s class on the field, the Band asks, “What time is it, Andy?”
“Carol Burnett Theme” (Band forms ’69)
And as we conclude our 1982 season, the Band would like to thank everyone for the support and applause that we have received throughout the entire season. Ttthhhat’s all folks.
“St. Louis Blues” (Band forms concert shell)
And this is your announcer, Larry “You can’t say my last name” Wiener signing off for the final time.