Dartmouth 1984
Princeton vs. Dartmouth
November 17th, 1984
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at…Farewells.
“Princeton Forward”
F. Scott might have called it This Side of Paradise Lost if he knew four years ago of all that was here today, gone tomorrow. We’d like to take a walk down memory lane with you now to recall these things which we’ve all lost in the last four years: PIC and New New Quad, the Biochemistry department (causing the loss of the Band field), lots of courtyards, Madison Society and Commons (we don’t really mind that one), Firestone access and thousands of socks to the laundry. Have you lost your patience with us yet? But wait, there’s so much more that’s disappeared…Gone is alcohol — and the Pub, Andy Brown ’69 and Patty Hearse ’69. Even Dartmouth has lost its sheep and doesn’t know where to find them. We’ve lost good upperclass room draw, Project ’85, and great P-parties. And of course, the Band lost its pants. Forming a telescope on the field, the Band searches for what we haven’t lost.
“Another One Bites the Dust” (Band forms a hugely phallic telescope)
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Band pauses to say goodbye to our beloved administration. Out with J. Anderson “Bad Bad Leroy” Brown and in with Eugene “I know my pipe’s cool, do your ears hang” Lowe. Bye-bye to Eva “You and me against the registrar” Gossman and Richard “What do you mean the Dean’s date was last month” Williams. So long to Frederick “join us after the service for sticky buns” Borsch and Don “Borrowing from the University is always” Betterton. But seriously, folks, we bid farewell to William G. and his Band of Reknown, who’s crowning achievement was letting us into Princeton.
“Maleguena” (Band forms Eugene Lowe’s pipe)
And now, for no particular reason, the Band looks at power tools. Whether it’s a #9 rotary drill or a circular saw, the working man is always using his Sears tools craftily. For that great GM feeling, Mr. Goodwrench and his power tools are always on the job. Power tools are also great stocking stuffers. During the holiday season you can electrically carve your turkey or Black and Decker-ate your tree. And speaking of food…Colonel Sanders and electric grinders with lettuce and tomato are always a well-deserved break. Fortunately, power tool break-down is never a big problem — spare parts can always be bought from Tom “we want to help you do things” Wright.
“If I Had a Hammer” (Band forms a screwdriver)
Turn out the lights, the party’s over. It’s the Band’s Last Picture Show, time to make a Farewell to Arms. And legs. And phallic formations, Curl puns, Batmen, and even cockroach jokes. On the whole we’d rather NOT be in New Jersey, and though Princeton’s partying is such sweet sorrow, we must wish all of our audience “Happy Tails to You.” We’d like to send regards to Reagan, say farewell to Fritz, bye-bye Bilbo, and so long to all our loyal supporters. Though we’ll soon be Gone with the Wind, we’d like you to know that when it comes to Music, Marching, Mirth, Creative Thinking and Originality, frankly, my dears, we DO give a damn.
“Stars and Stripes Forever” (Band forms the Princeton shield, with fire extinguishers going off at the top of each point)
Thththththat’s all, folks!!!!!!
November 17th, 1984
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at…Farewells.
“Princeton Forward”
F. Scott might have called it This Side of Paradise Lost if he knew four years ago of all that was here today, gone tomorrow. We’d like to take a walk down memory lane with you now to recall these things which we’ve all lost in the last four years: PIC and New New Quad, the Biochemistry department (causing the loss of the Band field), lots of courtyards, Madison Society and Commons (we don’t really mind that one), Firestone access and thousands of socks to the laundry. Have you lost your patience with us yet? But wait, there’s so much more that’s disappeared…Gone is alcohol — and the Pub, Andy Brown ’69 and Patty Hearse ’69. Even Dartmouth has lost its sheep and doesn’t know where to find them. We’ve lost good upperclass room draw, Project ’85, and great P-parties. And of course, the Band lost its pants. Forming a telescope on the field, the Band searches for what we haven’t lost.
“Another One Bites the Dust” (Band forms a hugely phallic telescope)
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Band pauses to say goodbye to our beloved administration. Out with J. Anderson “Bad Bad Leroy” Brown and in with Eugene “I know my pipe’s cool, do your ears hang” Lowe. Bye-bye to Eva “You and me against the registrar” Gossman and Richard “What do you mean the Dean’s date was last month” Williams. So long to Frederick “join us after the service for sticky buns” Borsch and Don “Borrowing from the University is always” Betterton. But seriously, folks, we bid farewell to William G. and his Band of Reknown, who’s crowning achievement was letting us into Princeton.
“Maleguena” (Band forms Eugene Lowe’s pipe)
And now, for no particular reason, the Band looks at power tools. Whether it’s a #9 rotary drill or a circular saw, the working man is always using his Sears tools craftily. For that great GM feeling, Mr. Goodwrench and his power tools are always on the job. Power tools are also great stocking stuffers. During the holiday season you can electrically carve your turkey or Black and Decker-ate your tree. And speaking of food…Colonel Sanders and electric grinders with lettuce and tomato are always a well-deserved break. Fortunately, power tool break-down is never a big problem — spare parts can always be bought from Tom “we want to help you do things” Wright.
“If I Had a Hammer” (Band forms a screwdriver)
Turn out the lights, the party’s over. It’s the Band’s Last Picture Show, time to make a Farewell to Arms. And legs. And phallic formations, Curl puns, Batmen, and even cockroach jokes. On the whole we’d rather NOT be in New Jersey, and though Princeton’s partying is such sweet sorrow, we must wish all of our audience “Happy Tails to You.” We’d like to send regards to Reagan, say farewell to Fritz, bye-bye Bilbo, and so long to all our loyal supporters. Though we’ll soon be Gone with the Wind, we’d like you to know that when it comes to Music, Marching, Mirth, Creative Thinking and Originality, frankly, my dears, we DO give a damn.
“Stars and Stripes Forever” (Band forms the Princeton shield, with fire extinguishers going off at the top of each point)
Thththththat’s all, folks!!!!!!
