Dartmouth 1985
Princeton at Dartmouth
September 21st, 1985
Princeton wins 10-3
Ladies and gentlemen, in memoriam of our visit to Dartmouth, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at the wonderful state of New…Jersey.
“Princeton Forward”
The Princeton Band just drove in from New Jersey, and boy are our lungs tired. New Jersey is a solid waste storehouse, a slagpit seeping with sewage-saturated cities of sordid stenches and silly pseudonyms. Take Mawah. Please. No, really. While you’re at it, take Trenton, Secaucus, Rahway, Elizabeth, Metro Park, Metuchen, Paramus, Passaic, Hopat Cong, and don’t forget Ho-Ho-Kus. We don’t mean to imply that everything in New Jersey is contaminated, but the state tree of New Jersey is dead, and even our jackets glow. Speaking of garbage, what’s the difference between a New Jersey girl and garbage? The girl gets taken out once a week. Forming a barrel of biohazardous chemical waste on the field, the Band plays, “Take Me Out to the Slagpit.”
“Take Me Out to the Ballgame” (Band forms the radioactive warning sign)
Elsewhere in the Baaadlands….New Jersey’s anti-perspirant poster child, Bruce Springsteen, defies the old adage about singing with food in your mouth. The Boss “Prooved it All Night” in “Candy’s Room,” but his “Hungry Heart” was “Born to Run.” Bruce sung “I’m Going Down (South)” in my “Pink Cadillac.” Driving west on “E Street” in Asbury Park, he put his “Jersey Girl” on a “Downbound Train” and married Julianne “I’m on Fire” Phillips. Forming a sweaty headband on the field, the Band dreads the coming of little Springsteens who will surely be “Born in the USA.”
“Born in the USA” (Band forms circle, puts on headbands, and takes off jackets to reveal rolled-up sleeves)
But seriously folks, we may be from a bastion of biohazardous quagmiredom, but New Jersey is the Garden State. With such sterling facets as the Jersey shore, Atlantic City, People Express, and the scenic New Jersey Turnpike, with such quaint resorts as the Vince Lombardi Rest Stop. And what about sports? New Jersey is blessed with the presence of: Doug Flutie, Doug Butler, Hershel Walker, the New York Giants, the New York Jets, the New York Nets, and now, the Statue of Liberty, and our new and improved state song.
“New York, New York” (Band forms N.J. which changes to N.Y. with trash kickline in front)
But the best part of New Jersey is — leaving. And to the Dartmouth College Class of 1989 we say, “Aren’t you glad we came?” But now we’re “Born to Run.”
September 21st, 1985
Princeton wins 10-3
Ladies and gentlemen, in memoriam of our visit to Dartmouth, the Princeton University Band takes a long, hard look at the wonderful state of New…Jersey.
“Princeton Forward”
The Princeton Band just drove in from New Jersey, and boy are our lungs tired. New Jersey is a solid waste storehouse, a slagpit seeping with sewage-saturated cities of sordid stenches and silly pseudonyms. Take Mawah. Please. No, really. While you’re at it, take Trenton, Secaucus, Rahway, Elizabeth, Metro Park, Metuchen, Paramus, Passaic, Hopat Cong, and don’t forget Ho-Ho-Kus. We don’t mean to imply that everything in New Jersey is contaminated, but the state tree of New Jersey is dead, and even our jackets glow. Speaking of garbage, what’s the difference between a New Jersey girl and garbage? The girl gets taken out once a week. Forming a barrel of biohazardous chemical waste on the field, the Band plays, “Take Me Out to the Slagpit.”
“Take Me Out to the Ballgame” (Band forms the radioactive warning sign)
Elsewhere in the Baaadlands….New Jersey’s anti-perspirant poster child, Bruce Springsteen, defies the old adage about singing with food in your mouth. The Boss “Prooved it All Night” in “Candy’s Room,” but his “Hungry Heart” was “Born to Run.” Bruce sung “I’m Going Down (South)” in my “Pink Cadillac.” Driving west on “E Street” in Asbury Park, he put his “Jersey Girl” on a “Downbound Train” and married Julianne “I’m on Fire” Phillips. Forming a sweaty headband on the field, the Band dreads the coming of little Springsteens who will surely be “Born in the USA.”
“Born in the USA” (Band forms circle, puts on headbands, and takes off jackets to reveal rolled-up sleeves)
But seriously folks, we may be from a bastion of biohazardous quagmiredom, but New Jersey is the Garden State. With such sterling facets as the Jersey shore, Atlantic City, People Express, and the scenic New Jersey Turnpike, with such quaint resorts as the Vince Lombardi Rest Stop. And what about sports? New Jersey is blessed with the presence of: Doug Flutie, Doug Butler, Hershel Walker, the New York Giants, the New York Jets, the New York Nets, and now, the Statue of Liberty, and our new and improved state song.
“New York, New York” (Band forms N.J. which changes to N.Y. with trash kickline in front)
But the best part of New Jersey is — leaving. And to the Dartmouth College Class of 1989 we say, “Aren’t you glad we came?” But now we’re “Born to Run.”
