Dartmouth 2000
Dartmouth at Princeton
November 18th, 2000
Princeton loses 37-34
Pregame
Ladies and gentlemen, tumbling onto the field like Lee Hadbavny on skis, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Cannon Song”
Today’s pregame show is dedicated to our outgoing President. No, not Bill Clinton. No, not Hal Shapiro; Princeton University Band President Lee Hadbavny! So if you don’t understand all the inside jokes, just wait for halftime. You’ll like halftime. But now, it’s time to play ‘Lee Hadbavny, This Is Your Life!’ Can you identify these people?
(In Susan Merino voice:) Yay, Leatrice had a bad knee! PBS dance party!
That one was’pretty easy. Now let’s try a tougher one.
(In Chris Monsour voice:) Hello, hoooney. Hoooney, give me back my fridge. I HATE DIET COKE!
Or how about this person?
(In Maxim Shusteff voice:) Dude, guess which pants I’ll wear today. Your MOM’s pants. It’s A. Duie Pyle!
We know you’ll know who this is:
(In Bob Dylan voice:) Lee, you were really really early for my concert last night. And you’re tangled up in blue!
Forming a little ‘d,’ for Dylan, the Band reminds you that there’s something else that starts with ‘D’ that you can toss, and on which there is a moratorium.
(Band forms a small ‘d’ and plays “As the Backs Go Tearing By”)
Look what we found, Lee! It’s the: Double-double-rotating press pass!
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating Press Pass and plays “Going Back”) (Band plays “The Star Spangled Banner”)
Halftime
Ladies and gentlemen, getting down with their plaid selves, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Forward”
This week is Thanksgiving, and while this holiday is enshrouded in tradition, there are some Thanksgiving traditions that didn’t make it. Such as:
Forming a musket, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, the Band gives Dartmouth the bird.
(Band forms a musket, which shoots and kills a giant turkey, and band plays “Johnny’s Mambo”)
We wanted to make jokes about the sheep at Dartmouth, but we heard they’d already been done. So instead, we’ll salute one of Dartmouth’s other famous alumni, Dr. Seuss. Unfortunately, like Thanksgiving traditions, not all of Dr. Seuss’s books were popular. Here are some Dr. Seuss books that didn’t make it:
Forming a cat in a vat, the Band says, Fox in Socks, our game is done, sir. Thank you for a lot of fun, sir.
(Band forms a cat in a vat and plays “Friend Like Me”)
And now, for Student Conductor Shirtless Jim “Hey Hey Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah” Gallagher, Head Manager Lisa “Is there anything you can eat here?” Kellogg, loving Drum Major Adam “If you were a band, I’d join you” Ruben, and President Lee “NO, Adam” Hadbavny, this is your announcer Lee “Adam, NO” Hadbavny, saying, “You can ram it in your rump, Chunky!”
November 18th, 2000
Princeton loses 37-34
Pregame
Ladies and gentlemen, tumbling onto the field like Lee Hadbavny on skis, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Cannon Song”
Today’s pregame show is dedicated to our outgoing President. No, not Bill Clinton. No, not Hal Shapiro; Princeton University Band President Lee Hadbavny! So if you don’t understand all the inside jokes, just wait for halftime. You’ll like halftime. But now, it’s time to play ‘Lee Hadbavny, This Is Your Life!’ Can you identify these people?
(In Susan Merino voice:) Yay, Leatrice had a bad knee! PBS dance party!
That one was’pretty easy. Now let’s try a tougher one.
(In Chris Monsour voice:) Hello, hoooney. Hoooney, give me back my fridge. I HATE DIET COKE!
Or how about this person?
(In Maxim Shusteff voice:) Dude, guess which pants I’ll wear today. Your MOM’s pants. It’s A. Duie Pyle!
We know you’ll know who this is:
(In Bob Dylan voice:) Lee, you were really really early for my concert last night. And you’re tangled up in blue!
Forming a little ‘d,’ for Dylan, the Band reminds you that there’s something else that starts with ‘D’ that you can toss, and on which there is a moratorium.
(Band forms a small ‘d’ and plays “As the Backs Go Tearing By”)
Look what we found, Lee! It’s the: Double-double-rotating press pass!
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating Press Pass and plays “Going Back”) (Band plays “The Star Spangled Banner”)
Halftime
Ladies and gentlemen, getting down with their plaid selves, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Forward”
This week is Thanksgiving, and while this holiday is enshrouded in tradition, there are some Thanksgiving traditions that didn’t make it. Such as:
- Stuffing turkey with paper fortunes
- Watching the big cricket match after dinner
- The P-Rade
- Spreading syphilis to indigenous peoples
- Buckles on everything!
- The annual family steel cage match
- The Nude Olympics
- Hoagie Haven for dinner, where the head of the household carves the turkey parm
- Burying your older relatives who probably won’t make it through the winter anyway
- Slaughtering a fuzzy puppy
- Helping the poor
- The Pass, Punt, and Kick the Turkey Contest
- Carving a succulent, juicy baby
- The greased grandma race
- Religious intolerance for everyone!
- Or our favorite, musket roullete!
Forming a musket, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, the Band gives Dartmouth the bird.
(Band forms a musket, which shoots and kills a giant turkey, and band plays “Johnny’s Mambo”)
We wanted to make jokes about the sheep at Dartmouth, but we heard they’d already been done. So instead, we’ll salute one of Dartmouth’s other famous alumni, Dr. Seuss. Unfortunately, like Thanksgiving traditions, not all of Dr. Seuss’s books were popular. Here are some Dr. Seuss books that didn’t make it:
- “Green Eggs and Beer” “Johnny’s Mambo”
- “Oh the Places You’ll Go… and How Very Far They Are from Hanover”
- “How the Grinch Stole My Chastity”
- The sequel to “Hop on Pop”: “Leap on Sheep”
- “Marvin K. Mooney, Won’t You Please Put on Some Pants?”
- The sequel to “Are You My Mother?”: “Who’s Your Daddy?”
- “The Thorax”
- “Yertl the Turtle Becomes Infertile”
- “One Sheep, Two Sheep, Red Sheep, Blew Sheep?” Of course I did; I went to Dartmouth!
- And “The Cat in the Vat: The Oscar Meyer Story”
Forming a cat in a vat, the Band says, Fox in Socks, our game is done, sir. Thank you for a lot of fun, sir.
(Band forms a cat in a vat and plays “Friend Like Me”)
And now, for Student Conductor Shirtless Jim “Hey Hey Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah” Gallagher, Head Manager Lisa “Is there anything you can eat here?” Kellogg, loving Drum Major Adam “If you were a band, I’d join you” Ruben, and President Lee “NO, Adam” Hadbavny, this is your announcer Lee “Adam, NO” Hadbavny, saying, “You can ram it in your rump, Chunky!”
