Dartmouth 2006
Dartmouth at Princeton
November 18th, 2006
Princeton wins 27-17
Pregame
You know you love us, it’s the Princeton University Band! We’d like to welcome the Dartmouth Band to today’s….wait, where’d they go?! What do you mean they’re not here?! Why on EARTH would anyone want to stay in Hanover?! There must be some reason they didn’t make it:
Forming a little “d” for “defensive,” the Band plays the Dartmouth Fight Song.
(Band forms a little “d” and plays, “As the Backs go Tearing By”)
And Now… Burning Blazing Scorching Flaming Smoking Torching Combusting Igniting Smoldering Sizzling Crackling Blistering Singeing Roasting Flaring Consuming All-engulfing Harvard and Yale couldn’t withstand the heat of the Double-Double-Rotating-P!
(Band forms the Double-Double-Rotating-P and plays “Going Back”)
And now, please rise for the playing of the National Anthem.
Halftime
Undefeated in Ivy League play, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward)
Following a dust-up with some Holy Cross players a few weeks ago, Dartmouth was left with no choice but to sternly discipline their offending players. Administrators from both schools got together to decide the appropriate punishments. Holy Cross suggested:
The Band forms a Holy Cross and plays Dartmouth’s new pump-up music, Proud Mary
(Band forms a cross and plays “Proud Mary”)
Most people think that Dr. Seuss, Dartmouth class of ’25, was just some mild-mannered children’s book author. But did you know that he was fired as editor of a Dartmouth publication for violating Prohibition? True story. Here are some other misadventures of the good Doctor we bet you didn’t know, despite the clues hidden throughout his works:
Saluting our own un-lickable Tigers, the Band forms Dr. Seuss’ tongue and plays “Eye of the Tiger.”
(Band forms a tongue and plays “Eye of the Tiger”)
And now, for the last time… On behalf of President Mary “Who needs brains with t-…” [pause] Gallery, Drum Major Charlie “Ahhhh they took my friggin’ kidney!” Bergen, Head Manager Stuart “IF-I-DON’T-GET-TO-JADWIN-I-WON’T-GET-THE-PIZZA-AND-IF-I-DON’T-GET-THE-PIZZA- THE-BAND-WON’T-BE-ABLE-TO-EAT-AND-THEY’LL-DIE-AND-CAN’T-YOU-SEE- THIS-IS-VERY-IMPORTANT?!?!?! CHARLIE, YOU’RE IN CHARGE.” Lange, and Student Conductor Charles “Conducting: It’s 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration!” Pence, my name is Kevin “With The Intro!” Smith, signing off.
November 18th, 2006
Princeton wins 27-17
Pregame
You know you love us, it’s the Princeton University Band! We’d like to welcome the Dartmouth Band to today’s….wait, where’d they go?! What do you mean they’re not here?! Why on EARTH would anyone want to stay in Hanover?! There must be some reason they didn’t make it:
- Watching the Michigan-OSU football game
- Tried to ford the river, lost two oxen. Tsk tsk, they should’ve hired the Indian guide.
- Contracted severe case of plaid envy
- Decided to stay at Cornell an extra week. Suckers.
- It’s not easy being green…
- Celebrating the introduction of electricity to Dartmouth College
- Jeez, maybe they just didn’t feel like coming. Give them a break!
Forming a little “d” for “defensive,” the Band plays the Dartmouth Fight Song.
(Band forms a little “d” and plays, “As the Backs go Tearing By”)
And Now… Burning Blazing Scorching Flaming Smoking Torching Combusting Igniting Smoldering Sizzling Crackling Blistering Singeing Roasting Flaring Consuming All-engulfing Harvard and Yale couldn’t withstand the heat of the Double-Double-Rotating-P!
(Band forms the Double-Double-Rotating-P and plays “Going Back”)
And now, please rise for the playing of the National Anthem.
Halftime
Undefeated in Ivy League play, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward)
Following a dust-up with some Holy Cross players a few weeks ago, Dartmouth was left with no choice but to sternly discipline their offending players. Administrators from both schools got together to decide the appropriate punishments. Holy Cross suggested:
- Excommunication
- Burning at the stake
- 50 Hail Mary’s and an off-tackle reverse
- Forcing them to stay in Hanover
- All frat houses will be off-tap on Saturday from 7-11…AM
- Must write “I will not get into a brawl with Holy Cross” on the blackboard 100 times
- Made to sit in the corner and think about what they did
- Ten points from Gryffindor
- Receivers’ hands cut off, since it would do little to alter their performance
- Team no longer allowed to use Celine Dion mix-tape to get pumped before games.
The Band forms a Holy Cross and plays Dartmouth’s new pump-up music, Proud Mary
(Band forms a cross and plays “Proud Mary”)
Most people think that Dr. Seuss, Dartmouth class of ’25, was just some mild-mannered children’s book author. But did you know that he was fired as editor of a Dartmouth publication for violating Prohibition? True story. Here are some other misadventures of the good Doctor we bet you didn’t know, despite the clues hidden throughout his works:
- Fired from Dining Services for serving Green Eggs and Ham
- Got arrested for showing girls drawings of Thing 1 and Thing 2
- Busted trying to steal Christmas
- Caught trying to convince several coeds that he was a real physician
- Created a scandalous collection of photography entitled “Fox in Socks”
- Destroyed all Hanover Lorax habitats in a drunken rage
- Once refused to go to the blackboard because he had “A Wocket in His Pocket”
- Insisted on being called “Gerald McBoing-Boing”
- Made a couple of suggestions for “Oh, The Places You’ll Go” to the dean of the college
- Spent a week in the infirmary after testing his hypothesis: “I can lick 30 Tigers.”
Saluting our own un-lickable Tigers, the Band forms Dr. Seuss’ tongue and plays “Eye of the Tiger.”
(Band forms a tongue and plays “Eye of the Tiger”)
And now, for the last time… On behalf of President Mary “Who needs brains with t-…” [pause] Gallery, Drum Major Charlie “Ahhhh they took my friggin’ kidney!” Bergen, Head Manager Stuart “IF-I-DON’T-GET-TO-JADWIN-I-WON’T-GET-THE-PIZZA-AND-IF-I-DON’T-GET-THE-PIZZA- THE-BAND-WON’T-BE-ABLE-TO-EAT-AND-THEY’LL-DIE-AND-CAN’T-YOU-SEE- THIS-IS-VERY-IMPORTANT?!?!?! CHARLIE, YOU’RE IN CHARGE.” Lange, and Student Conductor Charles “Conducting: It’s 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration!” Pence, my name is Kevin “With The Intro!” Smith, signing off.
