DartMOUth 2008
Dartmouth at Princeton
November 22nd, 2008
Princeton wins 28-10
Pregame
So hardcore that we pregame at 12:30, it’s the Princeton University Band!!
[Band scrambles onto the field]
With the new James Bond movie released last Thursday, the Band has sparked and interest in the classic Ian Fleming novels. However, upon extensive research into the circumstances surrounding the creation of the series, we discovered some rejected titles of previous Bond movies. For example:
Forming a little d for “Dr. Answer cloudy, ask again later”, the band plays “As the Backs go Tearing By”
[Band forms little d, plays As the Backs go Tearing By]
And now:
[Band forms double-double Rotating P, plays Going Back]
Green light! Red light!… Green light! Red light! Orange light!!
Halftime
Looking forward to the stuffing of their lives, it’s the Princeton University Band!!
[Band marches onto the field playing Princeton Forward March]
Recently Dartmouth student Vanessa Sievers was elected Treasurer for Grafton Country in New Hampshire. Upon discovering that treasure was not actually included in the job, she immediately decided to begin embezzling funds into the Dartmouth endowment. With this newly acquired cash, Dartmouth has spent money on a slew of things to improve campus life. For example, they:
Forming a giant D, the band salutes the average Dartmouth student’s grade point average and plays “Under the C.”
[Band forms big D, plays “Under the Sea”]
With Thanksgiving coming up shortly, it is time for reflection upon the good things in our lives. The Band looks around and sees that many Princetonian academic departments are getting into the holiday spirit. For example:
Forming Turkey, the band salutes Thanksgiving and plays “Birdland.”
[Band forms Turkey, plays Birdland]
(Sam’s Leachman's '09 signoff lines)
November 22nd, 2008
Princeton wins 28-10
Pregame
So hardcore that we pregame at 12:30, it’s the Princeton University Band!!
[Band scrambles onto the field]
With the new James Bond movie released last Thursday, the Band has sparked and interest in the classic Ian Fleming novels. However, upon extensive research into the circumstances surrounding the creation of the series, we discovered some rejected titles of previous Bond movies. For example:
- The spy who just wanted to be friends
- From China with SARS
- Cuttlefishclam
- Learner’s permit to kill
- On her majesty’s turndown service
- Diamonds are forever, unlike this marriage, strumpet!
- For your thighs only
- Pinkeye
- The world is just right!
Forming a little d for “Dr. Answer cloudy, ask again later”, the band plays “As the Backs go Tearing By”
[Band forms little d, plays As the Backs go Tearing By]
And now:
- The Incredible Hulk
- The Green Lantern
- Kal’el
- Green Arrow
- Robin Hood
- Captain Planet
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- Beastboy
- Aquaman
- Lucky the Leprechaun
- Banshee
- Rogue
- The Sexy Green M&M
- The Green Hornet
- Link
- And the double-double Rotating Peter Pan!!
[Band forms double-double Rotating P, plays Going Back]
Green light! Red light!… Green light! Red light! Orange light!!
Halftime
Looking forward to the stuffing of their lives, it’s the Princeton University Band!!
[Band marches onto the field playing Princeton Forward March]
Recently Dartmouth student Vanessa Sievers was elected Treasurer for Grafton Country in New Hampshire. Upon discovering that treasure was not actually included in the job, she immediately decided to begin embezzling funds into the Dartmouth endowment. With this newly acquired cash, Dartmouth has spent money on a slew of things to improve campus life. For example, they:
- Bought 100 furbies to help teach international students how to speak English
- Bought Swarovsky crystal cups to play Beer Pong with
- Paid to lobby Congress for a bill declaring 6 PM EST “Drinking Time”
- Paid to move Dartmouth from Hanover to somewhere less remote, like Ithaca
- Finally fixed that embarrassing typo on the sign outside that says “Dartmouth Collage”
- Bought the more advanced 64 crayon pack so they now are the Dartmouth Big Granny Smith Apple
- Upgraded the Dartmouth Yale Enthusiasts to the Dartmouth Princeton Enthusiasts
- They bought the central part of Vermont, turning the state into a giant D
Forming a giant D, the band salutes the average Dartmouth student’s grade point average and plays “Under the C.”
[Band forms big D, plays “Under the Sea”]
With Thanksgiving coming up shortly, it is time for reflection upon the good things in our lives. The Band looks around and sees that many Princetonian academic departments are getting into the holiday spirit. For example:
- The Chemistry department is thankful that nobody drank liquid Nitrogen this summer… oh, wait…
- The Sociology department is thankful that one of their students actually got a real job: First Lady
- The Woodrow Wilson school is thankful for the low price of oil, so all its tools don’t get rusty
- The Music department is thankful for bartending courses so its graduates have employable skills
- The German department is thankful that it has annexed the Slavic languages, French and Italian departments
- The Mole Bio department is thankful that it has now included stoats and voles in its program
- The COS department is thankful that the segFault under the COS building has not led to any segQuakes
- And of course, the Near Eastern Studies department is thankful for Turkey… and the United Arab Emirates
Forming Turkey, the band salutes Thanksgiving and plays “Birdland.”
[Band forms Turkey, plays Birdland]
(Sam’s Leachman's '09 signoff lines)