Dartmouth 2022
Dartmouth at Princeton
November 5, 2022
Princeton wins 17-14
Pregame:
Choosing the D-Plan, it’s the Princeton UUUUUniversity Band!
[Band marches on to "Princeton Cannon Song"]
It’s truly a miracle that the Dartmouth football team managed to find their way out of the forest and into the glorious state of New Jersey. As the smallest Ivy League school far away from the real world, they must truly relate to their motto: “the voice of one crying out in the wilderness.” Dartmouth is truly in THE MIDDLE of New Hamshirtucky.
[Band forms a tree and plays The Middle]
On our last trip to Dartmouth, we got so lost that we had to bypass our A, B, and C plans, and resort to the worst of all options, our D-Plan. Coincidentally, they call it the D-Plan because it's the average grade of Dartmouth students. What exactly is our D-plan, you ask? Well, there’s always majoring in geography at Dartmouth, where the final exam is finding the school. But you know what marks the spot on our maps? Our DOUBLE DOUBLE ROTATING P!
[Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays "Going Back to Nassau Hall"]
Halftime:
Agitating, Educating, and Legislating, it's the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to "Princeton Forward March"]
Welcome to our visitors, the Dartmouth…. wait, what was their mascot again? Unofficially, they consider Keggy the Keg their mascot. We can’t say we’re surprised. We believe in the power of temperance, and in fact, believe we should REINSTATE THE 18TH AMENDMENT. While the Dartmouth alma mater may say they have granite for brains, here at the Princeton University Band we don’t endorse underage OR overage drinking. PROHIBITION WAS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO THIS COUNTRY. Anyway. Here’s Holiday.
[Band forms a bottle of water and plays "Holiday"]
Dartmouth, along with this whole nation, needs a new birth of freedom and temperance. After the reinstitution of prohibition, we recommend that Dartmouth consider a new mascot with the flavor of a sole strawberry in Lake Ontario: Roy LaCroix. You see, at Princeton, we get drunk on love and friendship instead of alcohol.
[Band forms heart and plays "Love Drunk"]
Run away band, before the Dartmouth students peer pressure you into selling your soul!
November 5, 2022
Princeton wins 17-14
Pregame:
Choosing the D-Plan, it’s the Princeton UUUUUniversity Band!
[Band marches on to "Princeton Cannon Song"]
It’s truly a miracle that the Dartmouth football team managed to find their way out of the forest and into the glorious state of New Jersey. As the smallest Ivy League school far away from the real world, they must truly relate to their motto: “the voice of one crying out in the wilderness.” Dartmouth is truly in THE MIDDLE of New Hamshirtucky.
[Band forms a tree and plays The Middle]
On our last trip to Dartmouth, we got so lost that we had to bypass our A, B, and C plans, and resort to the worst of all options, our D-Plan. Coincidentally, they call it the D-Plan because it's the average grade of Dartmouth students. What exactly is our D-plan, you ask? Well, there’s always majoring in geography at Dartmouth, where the final exam is finding the school. But you know what marks the spot on our maps? Our DOUBLE DOUBLE ROTATING P!
[Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays "Going Back to Nassau Hall"]
Halftime:
Agitating, Educating, and Legislating, it's the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to "Princeton Forward March"]
Welcome to our visitors, the Dartmouth…. wait, what was their mascot again? Unofficially, they consider Keggy the Keg their mascot. We can’t say we’re surprised. We believe in the power of temperance, and in fact, believe we should REINSTATE THE 18TH AMENDMENT. While the Dartmouth alma mater may say they have granite for brains, here at the Princeton University Band we don’t endorse underage OR overage drinking. PROHIBITION WAS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO THIS COUNTRY. Anyway. Here’s Holiday.
[Band forms a bottle of water and plays "Holiday"]
Dartmouth, along with this whole nation, needs a new birth of freedom and temperance. After the reinstitution of prohibition, we recommend that Dartmouth consider a new mascot with the flavor of a sole strawberry in Lake Ontario: Roy LaCroix. You see, at Princeton, we get drunk on love and friendship instead of alcohol.
[Band forms heart and plays "Love Drunk"]
Run away band, before the Dartmouth students peer pressure you into selling your soul!
