Georgetown 2012
Georgetown at Princeton
September 21st, 2012
Princeton loses 20-21
Pregame:
Whenever, wherever, however you need it – it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to “The Princeton Cannon Song.”)
To get a better understanding of Georgetown, the Band decided to take a trip there. We learned quite a lot:
It wasn’t until later that we realized we had accidentally ventured to the nation of Georgia, the Unitary, Self-Presidential Republic. Well, going with Georgetown’s motto of “Both Into One,” they may as well combine the two places. How different could they be?
For all we know, they were named for the same George. Think of all the Georges in the world:
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall.”)
Everyone please rise for the presentation of the colors by the Princeton ROTC, and the playing of our national anthem by the Princeton University Band.
(ROTC comes onto field. Band plays “The Star Spangled Banner.”)
Run away Band. Everyone knows that you don’t really speak Georgian.
Halftime:
Spending $50 million of our own money to achieve a 47% rating in the polls, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to “Princeton Forward March.”)
Remarkably, the Band recently stumbled upon a copy of an unused Mitt Romney speech. We’ll share it with you now.
“Now, it’s not that I’m only not concerned about the very poor. I’m also not concerned about children. Or workers. Or women. Or voters."
“Corporations are people too. There are many things that are actually people. $100 bills, unfertilized human eggs, even Sarah Jessica Parker."
“I want to apologize about strapping Jack the Bulldog to the roof of my car, given that Jack didn’t make it through. To make up for it, I’d like to suggest some new mascots for Georgetown:
“ Now, I know I haven’t revealed my full economic plan, so let me explain it now. I’m going to fill the deficit by cutting the following things:
Forming Mitt Romney posing as a human being, the Band plays “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.”
(Band forms a stick figure, complete with prop dollar signs, and plays “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.”)
Apple recently shocked the world with the newly-released iPhone 5, which includes such innovative new features as:
(Band forms iPhone on the field and plays “Call Me Maybe.”)
Run away Band, Apple might sure you for forming a rectangle with rounded edges.
(Band scrambles off of field.)
September 21st, 2012
Princeton loses 20-21
Pregame:
Whenever, wherever, however you need it – it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to “The Princeton Cannon Song.”)
To get a better understanding of Georgetown, the Band decided to take a trip there. We learned quite a lot:
- We met the King, George the 69th.
- We were surprised to see not a single popped collar, though we did see quite a few arkhaligs.
- There was a remarkable prevalence of foreign language speakers.
- Everything had a very “former Soviet republic” kind of feel. Like living in Wilson.
- We were extremely surprised to find that the food wasn’t terrible, though people kept trying to give us goulash.
It wasn’t until later that we realized we had accidentally ventured to the nation of Georgia, the Unitary, Self-Presidential Republic. Well, going with Georgetown’s motto of “Both Into One,” they may as well combine the two places. How different could they be?
For all we know, they were named for the same George. Think of all the Georges in the world:
- Town
- of the Jungle
- Takay
- Clooney
- Gershwin
- Washington
- Harrison
- Thoroughgood
- Jets`on
- Curious
- Feeny
- Lucas
- W. Bush
- Castanza
- Lopez
- Weasly
- Foreman
- Michael
- Orwell
- Stephanopolous
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall.”)
Everyone please rise for the presentation of the colors by the Princeton ROTC, and the playing of our national anthem by the Princeton University Band.
(ROTC comes onto field. Band plays “The Star Spangled Banner.”)
Run away Band. Everyone knows that you don’t really speak Georgian.
Halftime:
Spending $50 million of our own money to achieve a 47% rating in the polls, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to “Princeton Forward March.”)
Remarkably, the Band recently stumbled upon a copy of an unused Mitt Romney speech. We’ll share it with you now.
“Now, it’s not that I’m only not concerned about the very poor. I’m also not concerned about children. Or workers. Or women. Or voters."
“Corporations are people too. There are many things that are actually people. $100 bills, unfertilized human eggs, even Sarah Jessica Parker."
“I want to apologize about strapping Jack the Bulldog to the roof of my car, given that Jack didn’t make it through. To make up for it, I’d like to suggest some new mascots for Georgetown:
- Mike the Cat
- My unreleased pre-2010 tax returns
- Fox News"
“ Now, I know I haven’t revealed my full economic plan, so let me explain it now. I’m going to fill the deficit by cutting the following things:
- The Democratic Party
- Education
- All entitlements
- Government"
Forming Mitt Romney posing as a human being, the Band plays “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.”
(Band forms a stick figure, complete with prop dollar signs, and plays “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.”)
Apple recently shocked the world with the newly-released iPhone 5, which includes such innovative new features as:
- The ability to make phone calls
- iTunes compatibility
- Integrated touchscreen technology
- Wireless telephonic capabilities – Leave the cables at home, folks!"
- An actual airplane mode, able to propel you through the air
- InstaSpam: It lets you takes pictures of random objects, apply a sepia filter, and then spam facebook with it
- Jerk-Detector (Warning: this may beep all the time if you’re a Georgetown student.)
- Words with people you met through that guy at a party that you don’t know all that well
- Angrier Birds
- Subway voice translator, turning “Hmmurphadamurlaph” into “Next stop in four minutes.”
- Internet Explorer 10: Internet Hermit
- Call Me Maybe? App, which automatically rejects half of all your incoming calls.
(Band forms iPhone on the field and plays “Call Me Maybe.”)
Run away Band, Apple might sure you for forming a rectangle with rounded edges.
(Band scrambles off of field.)
