Harvard 1987
Princeton at Harvard
October 24th, 1987
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, got a quarter? The Princeton University Band takes a look at where you give your money.
“Princeton Forward”
Paying for a political campaign can be a headache. While some candidates are simply Biden their time until Dukakis’s in Iowa, other have been Gore-ing their competitors during speeches at $500-a-plate dinners or Dole-ing out videotapes to The New York Times. The pace of campaign fundraising can make one look un-Kemp-t, while weak Harts can become Bushed. Dupont is, anyone can become President if they have the moola — even the Princeton Band! Look at our credentials: we’re the media’s darlings, and we have high principles and no convictions. Throwing our hats into the ring, the Band strikes up the Democratic Party campaign theme.
“Hit the Road, Jack” (Band forms ring, throws in hats)
Band, have you sinned today? Was the Beastmaster in your closet when you dressed this morning? Have you thought evil thoughts? Done evil deeds? Drunk evil drinks? What the hell kind of name is Oral, anyhow? Repent, Band, repent! Step up to the altar, credit card in hand, and lighten your heart and wallet. We do not discriminate against cash, check or money order, and He has installed a Bay Bank Express 24 direct to heaven. But remember, the Church does not take IOU’s, and it doesn’t take American Express. Praise now, our ushers are standing by. Forming:
a) Praise the Lord
b) Pass the Loot
c) Penguins that Limp, or
d) Polygamy, Theology and Licentiousness,
the Band plays “When the Cash Comes Rollin’ In.”
“Saints” (Band forms ‘P T L’)
Welcome back to the Princeton University Band-Aid Telethon. We need your money. God has told us that we cannot leave the field until we have raised $100 million…We’ll wait…Call now at 555-BAND. (Flashcards spell out phone number.) That number again, 555-BAND. Let’s hear those phones start ringing. (Glocks simulate phone rings.) And with a pledge of one dollar or more, you’ll receive a complimentary tax-deductible trombone player. Now here’s the lineup of today’s otherwise unemployed telethon talent: Charo, Engelbert Humperdinck, Bill Buckner, the Hahvahd Band, Fred Grandy, Oliver North’s lawyer, and the cast of ZOOM, Box 350, Boston Mass 02134. And here’s Old Blue Eyes Himself, with a song he’s sung far too many times.
“New York, New York” (at pause in music: “That number again,” flashcards change to BEAT YALE)
For proof that charity should begin at home, here’s the uncharitable Hahvahd Band.
October 24th, 1987
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, got a quarter? The Princeton University Band takes a look at where you give your money.
“Princeton Forward”
Paying for a political campaign can be a headache. While some candidates are simply Biden their time until Dukakis’s in Iowa, other have been Gore-ing their competitors during speeches at $500-a-plate dinners or Dole-ing out videotapes to The New York Times. The pace of campaign fundraising can make one look un-Kemp-t, while weak Harts can become Bushed. Dupont is, anyone can become President if they have the moola — even the Princeton Band! Look at our credentials: we’re the media’s darlings, and we have high principles and no convictions. Throwing our hats into the ring, the Band strikes up the Democratic Party campaign theme.
“Hit the Road, Jack” (Band forms ring, throws in hats)
Band, have you sinned today? Was the Beastmaster in your closet when you dressed this morning? Have you thought evil thoughts? Done evil deeds? Drunk evil drinks? What the hell kind of name is Oral, anyhow? Repent, Band, repent! Step up to the altar, credit card in hand, and lighten your heart and wallet. We do not discriminate against cash, check or money order, and He has installed a Bay Bank Express 24 direct to heaven. But remember, the Church does not take IOU’s, and it doesn’t take American Express. Praise now, our ushers are standing by. Forming:
a) Praise the Lord
b) Pass the Loot
c) Penguins that Limp, or
d) Polygamy, Theology and Licentiousness,
the Band plays “When the Cash Comes Rollin’ In.”
“Saints” (Band forms ‘P T L’)
Welcome back to the Princeton University Band-Aid Telethon. We need your money. God has told us that we cannot leave the field until we have raised $100 million…We’ll wait…Call now at 555-BAND. (Flashcards spell out phone number.) That number again, 555-BAND. Let’s hear those phones start ringing. (Glocks simulate phone rings.) And with a pledge of one dollar or more, you’ll receive a complimentary tax-deductible trombone player. Now here’s the lineup of today’s otherwise unemployed telethon talent: Charo, Engelbert Humperdinck, Bill Buckner, the Hahvahd Band, Fred Grandy, Oliver North’s lawyer, and the cast of ZOOM, Box 350, Boston Mass 02134. And here’s Old Blue Eyes Himself, with a song he’s sung far too many times.
“New York, New York” (at pause in music: “That number again,” flashcards change to BEAT YALE)
For proof that charity should begin at home, here’s the uncharitable Hahvahd Band.