Harvard 2005
Princeton at Harvard
October 22nd, 2005
Princeton wins 27-24
Pregame
Give me liberty or give me Head… of the Charles, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Cannon)
Sure the Big Dig seemed like a good idea, what with easier commuting and all. But it has unearthed a whole lot of new problems.
Forming a little ‘h’ for Boston’s gate to Hell, the Band plays Harvardiana
And Now: Rowing Stroking Paddling Driving Thrusting Pulling Breaking the Water Gliding Easing Wearing spandex Propelling Sweating Grunting Giving it your all Finishing strong It’s the Double-Double Rotating P!
(Going Back)
Run away Band! The Sox are in the World Series again!
Halftime
Coming onto the field like Bill Clinton, it’s the Princeton Univesity Band!
(Princeton Forward)
In order to mollify the givernment’s deficit problems, many politicians have decided to pitch in and do their part. The Fox Network has agreed to bring on the new talent for a revamped fall lineup, and these are the results:
Forming Strom Thurmond’s current residence, the Band plays “Great Balls of Fire”.
(Band forms a tombstone, plays “Great Balls of Fire”)
Harvard, you and we may have a lot in common, but there’s still a lot you need to fix. Now, we know you are still upset about your rejection from Penn, but some of your actions are just inexcusable. First of all, stop going down to Harvard Square and giving money to people — and then sleeping with them. Second, tweed in moderation. Special note to the swim team: your tweed speedoes, or “tweedoes”, are a no-go. Also, try to get your mascot changed. I mean, if it’s got to be a color, at least be original, like “The Harvard Chartreuse”, or “The Harvard Mango”. And stop ordering Boston-cream pie. Just stop lying to yourself. It’s painfully obvious to everyone else that you crave fruitcake. Or you could just skip all this, drop out, and form a small software company. Heh, it’s worked in the past, right? If you work hard enough, you just might get to go to Princeton for grad school — or more likely janitorial services. But for now, just Carry On, My Wayward Sons, and we’ll show you what you can look forward to at Princeton.
(Band plays “Carry On, My Wayward Son,” forms an ‘F’)
It is now safe to turn off your Princeton University Band.
October 22nd, 2005
Princeton wins 27-24
Pregame
Give me liberty or give me Head… of the Charles, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Cannon)
Sure the Big Dig seemed like a good idea, what with easier commuting and all. But it has unearthed a whole lot of new problems.
- Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
- Leftover giant shovels
- City-wide déjà vu
- Unearthed ancient Indian burial grounds, putting a curse on all of Boston. Maybe after another 84 years, you’ll be able to remove that curse.
- Jimmy Hoffa’s body
- City-wide déjà vu
- Gates to Hell
Forming a little ‘h’ for Boston’s gate to Hell, the Band plays Harvardiana
And Now: Rowing Stroking Paddling Driving Thrusting Pulling Breaking the Water Gliding Easing Wearing spandex Propelling Sweating Grunting Giving it your all Finishing strong It’s the Double-Double Rotating P!
(Going Back)
Run away Band! The Sox are in the World Series again!
Halftime
Coming onto the field like Bill Clinton, it’s the Princeton Univesity Band!
(Princeton Forward)
In order to mollify the givernment’s deficit problems, many politicians have decided to pitch in and do their part. The Fox Network has agreed to bring on the new talent for a revamped fall lineup, and these are the results:
- Arrested Development, Starring Tom DeLay and Karl Rove
- Scrubs, Starring Howard Dean
- Senators Gone Wild 4: Jon Corzine and Ted Kennedy Wet T-Shirt Contest
- Desparate Housewives, Starring Harriet Miers, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and Bill Clinton
- Mr. Roberts’ Neighborhood
- Iron Chef: Condoleeza Rice versus Sandra Day O’Connor, hosted by Larry Summers
- Money Talk with Senator Bill Frist
- Robert Byrd and Jesse Helms in “That ’20s Show”
- Where Are They Now: the Al Gore and Tom Daschle Edition
- Crossing Over with Strom Thurmond
Forming Strom Thurmond’s current residence, the Band plays “Great Balls of Fire”.
(Band forms a tombstone, plays “Great Balls of Fire”)
Harvard, you and we may have a lot in common, but there’s still a lot you need to fix. Now, we know you are still upset about your rejection from Penn, but some of your actions are just inexcusable. First of all, stop going down to Harvard Square and giving money to people — and then sleeping with them. Second, tweed in moderation. Special note to the swim team: your tweed speedoes, or “tweedoes”, are a no-go. Also, try to get your mascot changed. I mean, if it’s got to be a color, at least be original, like “The Harvard Chartreuse”, or “The Harvard Mango”. And stop ordering Boston-cream pie. Just stop lying to yourself. It’s painfully obvious to everyone else that you crave fruitcake. Or you could just skip all this, drop out, and form a small software company. Heh, it’s worked in the past, right? If you work hard enough, you just might get to go to Princeton for grad school — or more likely janitorial services. But for now, just Carry On, My Wayward Sons, and we’ll show you what you can look forward to at Princeton.
(Band plays “Carry On, My Wayward Son,” forms an ‘F’)
It is now safe to turn off your Princeton University Band.
