Harvard 2010
Harvard at Princeton
October 23, 2010
Princeton loses 28-45
Pregame:
This is test of the Princeton University Emergency Notification System. In the event of an actual emergency, this message would provide instructions and direct you to the Princeton University Band.
This week, a high school cheerleader was suspended from the squad for posting a Facebook profile picture posing with a beer. With Mark Zuckerberg ever decreasing the privacy standards on Facebook other people have been getting into trouble for posting scandalous pictures:
(Band forms a lowercase h, plays Harvardiana)
And now, Tea-bags, Cups, Saucers, Crumpets, Pocket watches, Biscuits, Scones, Alaskan governors, British, Devonshire cream, Marmalade Angry white men, Doilies, Sugar cubes, Monocles, Harvard undergraduates, Stuffed animals, Mad hatters, Milk, Cream, Half and half, Table cloths, Neatly folded napkins, Lemon wedges, Sweet-N-Low, Watercress sandwiches, And the double-double-rotating puff pastry!
(Band forms DDRP and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall)
And now, please rise for the playing of our National Anthem.
(Star Spangled Banner)
Run Away Band, the Harvard Band wants to Grey Poupon you.
Halftime:
Bursting forth from the loins of the earth like a liberated Chilean miner, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches onto the field, plays Princeton Forward March)
Although Harvard may have snagged the top spot in the US News & World Report annual rankings this year, Princeton University students may rest assured that they’ll have better professional opportunities upon graduating from our fine university. No matter his major, any son of Princeton is guaranteed to top a Harvard lad.
Flashers spell: BROTHEL MECHANICS
Flashers anagram to: BLEACH THE CRIMSON
Flashers flip letters to: FIGHT ON OLD NASSAU
Run Away Band, your best friend is suing you for six hundred million dollars.
October 23, 2010
Princeton loses 28-45
Pregame:
This is test of the Princeton University Emergency Notification System. In the event of an actual emergency, this message would provide instructions and direct you to the Princeton University Band.
This week, a high school cheerleader was suspended from the squad for posting a Facebook profile picture posing with a beer. With Mark Zuckerberg ever decreasing the privacy standards on Facebook other people have been getting into trouble for posting scandalous pictures:
- President Shirley Tilghman on one knee, enjoying a tasty malt beverage.
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad marching in a gay pride parade, letting it all hang out.
- Arizona state legislators celebrating a feliz cumpleanos with their abuelos in Mexico.
- Lady Gaga using a gyroscope rather than wearing one.
- Katy Perry wearing an “I Heart New York” t-shirt and kissing a girl and not liking it.
- Sarah Palin getting shot by a wolf in a helicopter.
- Brett Farve actually retiring and enjoying an early bird special at 4:30 PM.
- Mel Gibson leading a religious tolerance seminar.
- Barbie getting sloppy in the Terrace tap room.
(Band forms a lowercase h, plays Harvardiana)
And now, Tea-bags, Cups, Saucers, Crumpets, Pocket watches, Biscuits, Scones, Alaskan governors, British, Devonshire cream, Marmalade Angry white men, Doilies, Sugar cubes, Monocles, Harvard undergraduates, Stuffed animals, Mad hatters, Milk, Cream, Half and half, Table cloths, Neatly folded napkins, Lemon wedges, Sweet-N-Low, Watercress sandwiches, And the double-double-rotating puff pastry!
(Band forms DDRP and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall)
And now, please rise for the playing of our National Anthem.
(Star Spangled Banner)
Run Away Band, the Harvard Band wants to Grey Poupon you.
Halftime:
Bursting forth from the loins of the earth like a liberated Chilean miner, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches onto the field, plays Princeton Forward March)
Although Harvard may have snagged the top spot in the US News & World Report annual rankings this year, Princeton University students may rest assured that they’ll have better professional opportunities upon graduating from our fine university. No matter his major, any son of Princeton is guaranteed to top a Harvard lad.
- Harvard computer science majors create a social network. Princeton computer science majors have a social life.
- When Christian Bale graduated from Princeton he became Batman. When he graduated from Harvard, he became an American Psycho and murdered <hookers> (cut, replaced with) escorts.
- Sociology majors at Princeton go on to become the First Lady. Sociology majors at Harvard are still waiting to touch their first lady.
- Princeton music majors live in cardboard boxes. Harvard music majors live in wet cardboard boxes.
- Princeton English majors write things like This Side of Paradise. Harvard English majors write Edward-Jacob slash fan fiction.
- Princeton molecular biology majors experiment with dangerous diseases in a sterile lab environment. Harvard molecular biology majors experiment with dangerous diseases in their girlfriends in the dining hall with their cold, off-brand oatmeal, which is ninety percent gravel.
- Princeton physics majors make leaps in the field of quantum mechanics research. Harvard physics majors penetrate the field of …
Flashers spell: BROTHEL MECHANICS
Flashers anagram to: BLEACH THE CRIMSON
Flashers flip letters to: FIGHT ON OLD NASSAU
Run Away Band, your best friend is suing you for six hundred million dollars.
