Harvard 2013
Princeton at Harvard
October 26th, 2013
Princeton wins 51-48
Pregame:
It’s coming: The Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to Cannon)
While more respectable schools such as Brown and MIT have been celebrating parents weekend, Harvard has spent the week celebrating sex week. We read about some of the intriguing events online. “Sex, Sass, and Soul” caught our eye with its promise of “sexy homemade desserts.” We’re not exactly sure what constitutes a sexy dessert, but we have a few guesses, including American Pie, French Hershey’s kisses, bananas, and of course,
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they’re like, it’s better than yours
Damn right, it’s better than yours
I could teach you but I’d have to charge
Among the other events of the week, the band was saddened to see “Love your Body Day.” We love our bodies every day, but maybe that’s just because everyone at Princeton is just so darn good looking. We can’t wait to go back and see them. Forming an upside down B for our beautiful bodies, the Band plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall.”
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall”)
Run away band, or your beauty will distract from the game.
Halftime:
Today’s show is brought to you by the number two! It’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to Forward)
Let’s just address the elephant in the room and get this over with: Harvard’s ranking has fallen to number two on the US News and World Report.
But it’s not the end of the world: We see a lot of potential in all the new students joining Harvard this year. We’re not talking about the class of 2017, we’re talking about all the students who took last year off to get educated in other areas of life, such as learning about Congress, finding full time jobs, and exploring the more complicated realms of moral philosophy.
Taking time off from school can obviously lead to personal growth, but — call us old fashioned — we believe in going to school for four years without breaks. But it’s ok, we’re not angry, we’re just disappointed. Forming a frowny face on the field, the band plays “Johnny B. Goode.”
(Band forms a frowny face and plays “Johnny B. Goode”)
We’d like two apologize for making fun of Harvard, especially their respectable ranking, in the last joke. It feels like we’re trying two hard and this is definitely two soon. We’re clearly trying two kill two birds with two stones.
Before we get two ahead of ourselves, we’d like two stop and mention that Harvard has at least two great things about it. For example, we went two the ballet last night and it was really great, although there were two many two–twos.
Oh dear, now we’d like two apologize for making two two jokes. Is that two two jokes two many?
Not stopping after it’s already gone two far, the band forms a two on the field and plays a twone entitled Two .. four one.
(Band forms the number two and plays “241”)
Ok, we swear we’ve gotten a grip on ourselves now. Let’s talk about something more sophisticated, like investments. We hear Harvard invests in Argentinian timber companies that are messing up the wetlands.
Harvard has lots of shady investments; instead of more useful things, like a real mascot or blinders for every student to wear during exams, they’ve actually invested in a sequel to The Social Network that doesn’t make them look evil, Jeff Nunakawa’s sleeves, and Human Beard Hormone for the Red Sox.
Exposing Harvard’s shady investments, the band forms a hormonally enhanced beard and plays “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.”
(Band forms a beard and plays “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”)
Run away band, as fast as your two little legs can carry you!
October 26th, 2013
Princeton wins 51-48
Pregame:
It’s coming: The Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to Cannon)
While more respectable schools such as Brown and MIT have been celebrating parents weekend, Harvard has spent the week celebrating sex week. We read about some of the intriguing events online. “Sex, Sass, and Soul” caught our eye with its promise of “sexy homemade desserts.” We’re not exactly sure what constitutes a sexy dessert, but we have a few guesses, including American Pie, French Hershey’s kisses, bananas, and of course,
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they’re like, it’s better than yours
Damn right, it’s better than yours
I could teach you but I’d have to charge
Among the other events of the week, the band was saddened to see “Love your Body Day.” We love our bodies every day, but maybe that’s just because everyone at Princeton is just so darn good looking. We can’t wait to go back and see them. Forming an upside down B for our beautiful bodies, the Band plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall.”
(Band forms Double-Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back to Nassau Hall”)
Run away band, or your beauty will distract from the game.
Halftime:
Today’s show is brought to you by the number two! It’s the Princeton University Band!
(Band marches on to Forward)
Let’s just address the elephant in the room and get this over with: Harvard’s ranking has fallen to number two on the US News and World Report.
But it’s not the end of the world: We see a lot of potential in all the new students joining Harvard this year. We’re not talking about the class of 2017, we’re talking about all the students who took last year off to get educated in other areas of life, such as learning about Congress, finding full time jobs, and exploring the more complicated realms of moral philosophy.
Taking time off from school can obviously lead to personal growth, but — call us old fashioned — we believe in going to school for four years without breaks. But it’s ok, we’re not angry, we’re just disappointed. Forming a frowny face on the field, the band plays “Johnny B. Goode.”
(Band forms a frowny face and plays “Johnny B. Goode”)
We’d like two apologize for making fun of Harvard, especially their respectable ranking, in the last joke. It feels like we’re trying two hard and this is definitely two soon. We’re clearly trying two kill two birds with two stones.
Before we get two ahead of ourselves, we’d like two stop and mention that Harvard has at least two great things about it. For example, we went two the ballet last night and it was really great, although there were two many two–twos.
Oh dear, now we’d like two apologize for making two two jokes. Is that two two jokes two many?
Not stopping after it’s already gone two far, the band forms a two on the field and plays a twone entitled Two .. four one.
(Band forms the number two and plays “241”)
Ok, we swear we’ve gotten a grip on ourselves now. Let’s talk about something more sophisticated, like investments. We hear Harvard invests in Argentinian timber companies that are messing up the wetlands.
Harvard has lots of shady investments; instead of more useful things, like a real mascot or blinders for every student to wear during exams, they’ve actually invested in a sequel to The Social Network that doesn’t make them look evil, Jeff Nunakawa’s sleeves, and Human Beard Hormone for the Red Sox.
Exposing Harvard’s shady investments, the band forms a hormonally enhanced beard and plays “I’ll Make a Man Out of You.”
(Band forms a beard and plays “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”)
Run away band, as fast as your two little legs can carry you!
