Harvard 2018
Princeton at Harvard
October 20th, 2018
Princeton wins 29-21
Pregame:
Coming at it from an unorthodox angle, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
Annoying, spineless, always up to something, and impossible to get rid of. No, we aren’t talking about Harvard students. We’re talking about cockroaches. While MIT has developed Robotic Cheetah 3, Harvard has recently perfected their robotic cockroach. Silicon based, walks on six legs, and has cameras for eyes. Harvard hasn’t seen one of those since Mark Zuckerberg dropped out. The one flaw of this robotic pest is that it can’t get out of the water without the use of a ramp, otherwise it will just spin around aimlessly, much like our Double-Double Rotating P!
[Band forms the Double-Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Scuttle away band, we have the ramp ready!
Halftime:
I like the idea, but I don’t like the consequences, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
One question that Harvard graduates hear is… “How do you sleep at night?” This year’s freshman class will be able to answer that with ease. It turns out that sleeping on piles of ponzi scheme money doesn’t make the most comfortable bed. But short of giving the money away to noble clauses, they instead took an online course entitled Sleep 101. And here are some of the calming thoughts that Harvard students have before bed: daddy’s trust fund, finding a daddy with a trust fund, becoming a daddy with a trust fund, counting all of the As they’re getting instead of sheep and while they may be worried that the University cares more about graduate students, they can sleep soundly knowing they’ll just let them pass anyway, so they come back with those big trust funds. Sweet Dreams, Caroline.
[Band forms a pillow and plays Sweet Caroline]
Wakey, wakey! It’s time for your hot breakfast provided by Harvard University Dining Services. Oh wait. Harvard got rid of most of their hot breakfast options back in 2009 for ‘budgetary reasons.’ Well, there are still make your own eggs and waffle stations, but apparently that’s not cutting it for these Harvard students. They’d would much rather have someone else make it for them the eggspress way. I bet they can’t even be bothered to put all their eggs in one basket.
[Band forms an egg and plays Basket Case]
Run away band, sleep tight and don’t let the robotic cockroaches bite.
October 20th, 2018
Princeton wins 29-21
Pregame:
Coming at it from an unorthodox angle, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Cannon Song]
Annoying, spineless, always up to something, and impossible to get rid of. No, we aren’t talking about Harvard students. We’re talking about cockroaches. While MIT has developed Robotic Cheetah 3, Harvard has recently perfected their robotic cockroach. Silicon based, walks on six legs, and has cameras for eyes. Harvard hasn’t seen one of those since Mark Zuckerberg dropped out. The one flaw of this robotic pest is that it can’t get out of the water without the use of a ramp, otherwise it will just spin around aimlessly, much like our Double-Double Rotating P!
[Band forms the Double-Double Rotating P and plays Going Back to Nassau Hall]
Scuttle away band, we have the ramp ready!
Halftime:
I like the idea, but I don’t like the consequences, it’s the Princeton University Band!
[Band marches on to Princeton Forward March]
One question that Harvard graduates hear is… “How do you sleep at night?” This year’s freshman class will be able to answer that with ease. It turns out that sleeping on piles of ponzi scheme money doesn’t make the most comfortable bed. But short of giving the money away to noble clauses, they instead took an online course entitled Sleep 101. And here are some of the calming thoughts that Harvard students have before bed: daddy’s trust fund, finding a daddy with a trust fund, becoming a daddy with a trust fund, counting all of the As they’re getting instead of sheep and while they may be worried that the University cares more about graduate students, they can sleep soundly knowing they’ll just let them pass anyway, so they come back with those big trust funds. Sweet Dreams, Caroline.
[Band forms a pillow and plays Sweet Caroline]
Wakey, wakey! It’s time for your hot breakfast provided by Harvard University Dining Services. Oh wait. Harvard got rid of most of their hot breakfast options back in 2009 for ‘budgetary reasons.’ Well, there are still make your own eggs and waffle stations, but apparently that’s not cutting it for these Harvard students. They’d would much rather have someone else make it for them the eggspress way. I bet they can’t even be bothered to put all their eggs in one basket.
[Band forms an egg and plays Basket Case]
Run away band, sleep tight and don’t let the robotic cockroaches bite.
