Harvard 2021
Harvard at Princeton
October 23, 2021
Princeton wins 18-16 (5 OT)
Pregame:
The unfortunate result of an evolutionary bottleneck, it’s the Princeton University Band!
If you’ve been on campus recently, you’ve noticed all the students’ sniffles and coughs and hemorrhaging. Is it Covid? We wish; then we’d get a free room and meal delivery in 1967 Hall.
The Princeton plague, however, has nothing on the newest concerning disease: the Cambridge Crimson Carcinization. Believed to have jumped the species barrier from Harvard econ majors to humans, this highly contagious sickness causes you to boil from the inside out, causing death. Victims are found steaming and as crimson as a cooked lobster.
Band does not socially distance and plays “Rock Lobster.”
Band, stop faking death! The insurance company is wise to our tricks after the last 3 times. Just get into the double-double rotating P!
Run away Band, we have to crash our own funeral!
Halftime:
irmly grasping a tree branch, it’s the Princeton University Band!
Once upon a time, the researchers cooped up in the neuroscience building basement consumed 33 and a half five hour energy drinks on a dare and created the world’s most terrifying abominations yet known to science: hyper intelligent sloths, Slothus nerdiestus. After a decade of plotting, the sloths infiltrated all of our upper administrative positions and secretly took over the university, with one sloth clawing his way to the very top. All hail Slothgruber, the great and terrible!
Band forms a brain and plays “Game of Thrones.”
With their formidable brainpower and boundless deliberation ruling Princeton with an iron fist, we know for sure that not only will Princeton provide the slowest possible response to any crisis, it will also be the most well-thought out. In fact, Sloth brain power has skyrocketed us to the top of the US News and World report list for the 11th consecutive year. Harvard wishes they had a dozen hyper-intelligent sloths running their show. Instead, they got a three way tie for second place.
[Band forms an arc and plays “Also Sprach Zarathustra.”]
[Band flashes 12 NERDIEST SLOTHS]
[Band flashes 2ND IS THE 1ST LOSER]*
[Band flashes PRINCETON IS BACK!]
Run away band, the sloths are creating yet another committee!
*Editor's note: this one was botched pretty badly during the show, to the point of being unreadable. Oh well. That was our intended phrase, for what it's worth.
October 23, 2021
Princeton wins 18-16 (5 OT)
Pregame:
The unfortunate result of an evolutionary bottleneck, it’s the Princeton University Band!
If you’ve been on campus recently, you’ve noticed all the students’ sniffles and coughs and hemorrhaging. Is it Covid? We wish; then we’d get a free room and meal delivery in 1967 Hall.
The Princeton plague, however, has nothing on the newest concerning disease: the Cambridge Crimson Carcinization. Believed to have jumped the species barrier from Harvard econ majors to humans, this highly contagious sickness causes you to boil from the inside out, causing death. Victims are found steaming and as crimson as a cooked lobster.
Band does not socially distance and plays “Rock Lobster.”
Band, stop faking death! The insurance company is wise to our tricks after the last 3 times. Just get into the double-double rotating P!
Run away Band, we have to crash our own funeral!
Halftime:
irmly grasping a tree branch, it’s the Princeton University Band!
Once upon a time, the researchers cooped up in the neuroscience building basement consumed 33 and a half five hour energy drinks on a dare and created the world’s most terrifying abominations yet known to science: hyper intelligent sloths, Slothus nerdiestus. After a decade of plotting, the sloths infiltrated all of our upper administrative positions and secretly took over the university, with one sloth clawing his way to the very top. All hail Slothgruber, the great and terrible!
Band forms a brain and plays “Game of Thrones.”
With their formidable brainpower and boundless deliberation ruling Princeton with an iron fist, we know for sure that not only will Princeton provide the slowest possible response to any crisis, it will also be the most well-thought out. In fact, Sloth brain power has skyrocketed us to the top of the US News and World report list for the 11th consecutive year. Harvard wishes they had a dozen hyper-intelligent sloths running their show. Instead, they got a three way tie for second place.
[Band forms an arc and plays “Also Sprach Zarathustra.”]
[Band flashes 12 NERDIEST SLOTHS]
[Band flashes 2ND IS THE 1ST LOSER]*
[Band flashes PRINCETON IS BACK!]
Run away band, the sloths are creating yet another committee!
*Editor's note: this one was botched pretty badly during the show, to the point of being unreadable. Oh well. That was our intended phrase, for what it's worth.
