Holy cross 1989
Princeton vs. Holy Cross
September 30th, 1989
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a penny-snatching, money-hungry look at rampant commercialism.
“Princeton Forward”
Commercialism has now touched on almost every aspect of our lives. Is nothing sacred? For example, with major corporations sponsoring most college Bowl games, Big Business has replaced Fruit of the Loom as the country’s strongest athletic supporter. And speaking of athletic supporters, the jocks over at Oklahoma University have really been taken to the cleaners for reportedly taking money under the table. In a related Colonial League scandal, Holy Cross gridders are suspected of sipping Sacramental wine under the table. Forming a different kind of bottle on the field, the Princeton Band salutes what it likes to do under the table.
(Band forms a bottle and plays “Tequila”)
One of the most recent participants in the commercialization club is the phone company. Hey. Yeah, you. Muscles feeling a bit flaccid? No time to exercise? Just call Dial-a-Workout. Five pounds for the first minutes, two pounds for each additional minutes. It works better than the abdomenizer. Cordless phone recommended. So, who have you been calling, Holy Cross band? Was it the “True Confessions” line? We called the line, and the confessions we heard about made our mom wash our mouths out with soap. Saluting the Holy Cross band’s 6,900 dollar phone bill, the Band forms a foaming mouth and plays “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles.”
(Band forms a mouth with fire-extinguisher “foam” and plays “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles”)
When the Band was a kid, Saturday mornings were our favorite. But cartoons have sold out, too. The Jetsons and Bugs Bunny have given way to half-hour commercials for Transformers and G.I. Joe with Kung-Fu grip. If it weren’t for these shows teaching kids the principles of violence and world domination, they might be wasting their time by taking a nap…or reading a book. (Band yells “Yuck!”) And now the Princeton Band joins in the fracas, as we present the ultimate Saturday morning sellout: us. Please join in, as we salute our new corporate sponsor.
(Band forms a mug with diminishing contents and plays “Miller Time”)
Holy Cross: nine letters. Lunch Meat: nine letters. Coincidence? You decide.
September 30th, 1989
Outcome Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, the Princeton University Band takes a penny-snatching, money-hungry look at rampant commercialism.
“Princeton Forward”
Commercialism has now touched on almost every aspect of our lives. Is nothing sacred? For example, with major corporations sponsoring most college Bowl games, Big Business has replaced Fruit of the Loom as the country’s strongest athletic supporter. And speaking of athletic supporters, the jocks over at Oklahoma University have really been taken to the cleaners for reportedly taking money under the table. In a related Colonial League scandal, Holy Cross gridders are suspected of sipping Sacramental wine under the table. Forming a different kind of bottle on the field, the Princeton Band salutes what it likes to do under the table.
(Band forms a bottle and plays “Tequila”)
One of the most recent participants in the commercialization club is the phone company. Hey. Yeah, you. Muscles feeling a bit flaccid? No time to exercise? Just call Dial-a-Workout. Five pounds for the first minutes, two pounds for each additional minutes. It works better than the abdomenizer. Cordless phone recommended. So, who have you been calling, Holy Cross band? Was it the “True Confessions” line? We called the line, and the confessions we heard about made our mom wash our mouths out with soap. Saluting the Holy Cross band’s 6,900 dollar phone bill, the Band forms a foaming mouth and plays “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles.”
(Band forms a mouth with fire-extinguisher “foam” and plays “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles”)
When the Band was a kid, Saturday mornings were our favorite. But cartoons have sold out, too. The Jetsons and Bugs Bunny have given way to half-hour commercials for Transformers and G.I. Joe with Kung-Fu grip. If it weren’t for these shows teaching kids the principles of violence and world domination, they might be wasting their time by taking a nap…or reading a book. (Band yells “Yuck!”) And now the Princeton Band joins in the fracas, as we present the ultimate Saturday morning sellout: us. Please join in, as we salute our new corporate sponsor.
(Band forms a mug with diminishing contents and plays “Miller Time”)
Holy Cross: nine letters. Lunch Meat: nine letters. Coincidence? You decide.
