Lafayette 2002
Lafayette at Princeton
September 28th, 2002
Princeton wins 34-19
Pregame:
Ladies and Gentlemen, launching onto the field like the last Soyuz space capsule, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Cannon Song”
The Russian space agency is low on cash, so they’ve been renting out room on their space flights. Unfortunately, N*SYNC member Lance Bass couldn’t come up with the dough to be the next civilian in space. So here are some things the Russians might put in the cargo container that will go in his place:
Forming a little L for the Lafayette band, the Band says, we’ll see you at halftime. Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the playing of the national anthem… of France.
(Band Forms Little L and plays “La Marseilles”)
And now, graduating with a certificate in Finance American Studies African American Studies Jewish Studies Political Theory Political Economy Environmental Studies Teacher Preparation Biophysics Applications in Computing Creative Writing Visual Arts Theater and Dance Neuroscience Music Performance It’s the Double, Double, Rotating P!
(Band Forms Double, Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”)
“Star Spangled Banner”
Halftime
Storming the field like a British invasion, it’s the Princeton University Band, baby!
(“Princeton Forward”)
It’s a brand new school year, and the Class of 2006 was welcomed onto campus with that infamous experience known as “Freshmen Orientation.” Here are some additions we’d like to see to make that experience more enjoyable:
Forming a cane, the Band reminds you, when you beat old people with canes, they’ll jump, jive and wail.
(Band forms a cane and plays “Jump, Jive, and Wail”)
You might have seen the movie “A Beautiful Mind.” Here are some lesser known movies about famous Princetonians you probably didn’t see.
Forming a Wonderful Life, the Band says: Carry On Wayward Son.
(Band forms a smiley face and plays “Carry On Wayward Son”)
Note: The PUB performs as the Lafayette Band below.
(Band runs into end zone and begins changing uniform to become La Band de Lafayette)
Yes, the British are coming, and if you want them to keep coming, and if you want to continue to see fine Band shows like this one, we ask that you become a member today. To give your pledge right now, call 258-5666. That’s 258-5666. You can become a member today. And you’ll receive a free gift as well:
Our volunteers are standing by and time is running out, so call today. (Band is now prepared as the Band de Lafayette)
Fleeing ze endzone like us, I mean, oui, it’s Ze Band De Lafayette, Hohn, Hohn, Hohn!
(Band plays “La Marseillaise”)
We visit your country from France, and we see your, how do you say, University, but we do not see many classes zat we would like to take. So here are classes zat, we, ze French, would like to see at ze Princeton.
Forming Surrender, ze Band De Lafayette says: School’s out.
(Band forms a French flag and plays “School’s Out”. Red and blue in flag peel back to reveal a white flag)
We noticed zat here in Princeton, zey say zat Le Penn is ze disgrace of ze Ivy League. What a coincidence! At home, Le Pen is ze disgrace of France. He was nearly elected, and we would surely have noticed some changes.
Forming ze TGV, Ze Band De Lafayette asks: Where do ze fascists get off?
(Band forms a TGV car and plays “Night Train”)
Run away, Band, ze British are coming!
September 28th, 2002
Princeton wins 34-19
Pregame:
Ladies and Gentlemen, launching onto the field like the last Soyuz space capsule, it’s the Princeton University Band!
“Princeton Cannon Song”
The Russian space agency is low on cash, so they’ve been renting out room on their space flights. Unfortunately, N*SYNC member Lance Bass couldn’t come up with the dough to be the next civilian in space. So here are some things the Russians might put in the cargo container that will go in his place:
- Millions of worthless rubles
- Someone with more money
- Someone with more talent
- An actual cosmonaut
- Helium
- All the stuff they can’t recycle
- Some of those necessary components they were planning to leave behind
- The black box
- The Lafayette Band
Forming a little L for the Lafayette band, the Band says, we’ll see you at halftime. Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the playing of the national anthem… of France.
(Band Forms Little L and plays “La Marseilles”)
And now, graduating with a certificate in Finance American Studies African American Studies Jewish Studies Political Theory Political Economy Environmental Studies Teacher Preparation Biophysics Applications in Computing Creative Writing Visual Arts Theater and Dance Neuroscience Music Performance It’s the Double, Double, Rotating P!
(Band Forms Double, Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”)
“Star Spangled Banner”
Halftime
Storming the field like a British invasion, it’s the Princeton University Band, baby!
(“Princeton Forward”)
It’s a brand new school year, and the Class of 2006 was welcomed onto campus with that infamous experience known as “Freshmen Orientation.” Here are some additions we’d like to see to make that experience more enjoyable:
- Outdoor action trips to hunt Al Qaeda in Afghanistan
- Firestone Fest
- Open house at Cottage Club for the Kappa Kappa Kappa
- To teach the importance of the Honor code, Freshmen get front row seats at “Southern Gentlemen Duel to the Death”
- Reflections on diversity… of squirrels
- Dinner with the Master, and champagne brunch with the Ass. Master
- The Square Show … an evening of the Nassoons
- Replace Cane Spree with a spree of caning old people
Forming a cane, the Band reminds you, when you beat old people with canes, they’ll jump, jive and wail.
(Band forms a cane and plays “Jump, Jive, and Wail”)
You might have seen the movie “A Beautiful Mind.” Here are some lesser known movies about famous Princetonians you probably didn’t see.
- Mel Gibson plays a drunk, irate F. Scott Fitzgerald in “This Side of Hell”
- Oprah as Toni Morrison in “The Book Club”
- Walter Matthau plays Albert Einstein in “IQ”
- Peter Singer is portrayed by Sylvestor Stallone in “All Your Life Are Belong to Us”
- Sean Connery plays John Conway in “The Matrices”
- Pamela Anderson is a buxom Meg Whitman in “E-Baywatch”
- George Burns and George Clooney star as God in “Oh God, Where Art Thou”
- Gerard Depardieu plays Fred Hargadon in “I know what you did last summer… And last fall, and the winter before that.”
- Jimmy Stewart stars as Jimmy Stewart in “It Wasn’t Such a Wonderful Life After All”
Forming a Wonderful Life, the Band says: Carry On Wayward Son.
(Band forms a smiley face and plays “Carry On Wayward Son”)
Note: The PUB performs as the Lafayette Band below.
(Band runs into end zone and begins changing uniform to become La Band de Lafayette)
Yes, the British are coming, and if you want them to keep coming, and if you want to continue to see fine Band shows like this one, we ask that you become a member today. To give your pledge right now, call 258-5666. That’s 258-5666. You can become a member today. And you’ll receive a free gift as well:
- For a pledge of $5, you’ll get a swath of plaid fabric
- Pledge $15, get a Band CD (Band: “Please! No, really!”)
- Pledge $69 and you’ll get a surprise visit from the Lafayette Band
- For $200, you get your very own announcer to follow you around
- Pledge $500, and receive an autographed pink flamingo
- For $1500, the Band will play at your wedding
- Pledge $2500, and the Band won’t play at your wedding
- A pledge of $5000 will get your name in a halftime show. Does not apply to Peter Singer, Cornel West, or Hal Shapiro
- $35,000 will get you a Princeton education
- Pledge $20 million and get your name on this stadium
Our volunteers are standing by and time is running out, so call today. (Band is now prepared as the Band de Lafayette)
Fleeing ze endzone like us, I mean, oui, it’s Ze Band De Lafayette, Hohn, Hohn, Hohn!
(Band plays “La Marseillaise”)
We visit your country from France, and we see your, how do you say, University, but we do not see many classes zat we would like to take. So here are classes zat, we, ze French, would like to see at ze Princeton.
- Existentialism 101, with ze prerequisite Syphilis 101. See professeur for details.
- Women’s Studies 265 — “Beating Old Ladies with Baguettes”
- German 101
- French 301 — “We were just following orders”
- Jewish Studies 302 — “Ze Hell you were!”
- Russian 206 — “Winter”
- Sociology 002 — “Letting zem eat cake”
- EEB 423 — “Frogs and snails: Delicate ecosystem, delicious appetizers”
- Drama 101 — “Mimes” [Pronounced “Meems”]
- Politics 383 — “Ze art of surrender”
Forming Surrender, ze Band De Lafayette says: School’s out.
(Band forms a French flag and plays “School’s Out”. Red and blue in flag peel back to reveal a white flag)
We noticed zat here in Princeton, zey say zat Le Penn is ze disgrace of ze Ivy League. What a coincidence! At home, Le Pen is ze disgrace of France. He was nearly elected, and we would surely have noticed some changes.
- Blush wine would have been abolished in ze name of wine purity.
- Notre Dame would have been renamed, Ta Mere
- All stadiums would have been renamed, Le Palestra
- France would have taken over Germany for once. Le Pen is mightier zan ze sword
- France would have taken on Norway too, for Le Pen is mightier zan ze Fjord
- Le Pen would become Pope, because Le Pen is mightier zan ze Lord
- Ze French motto would have been changed to “Work will get you Brie”
- Euro-Disney would remain exactly ze same
- Ze trains would finally run on time
Forming ze TGV, Ze Band De Lafayette asks: Where do ze fascists get off?
(Band forms a TGV car and plays “Night Train”)
Run away, Band, ze British are coming!
