Lafayette 2006
Lafayette at Princeton
September 23nd, 2006
Princeton wins 26-14
Pregame
Fire in the hole! It’s the Princeton University Band!
(Cannon)
So we noticed the Lafayette Band isn’t here. Now isn’t THAT strange… a bunch of Frenchmen not showing up to a competition of strength? I wonder where they are…
Saluting our Franco-American friends, the Band plays the French national anthem.
(Band forms a lower-case ‘l’ and plays “La Marseilles”)
And now: Ooh la la Coup d’etat Cul de sac Je ne sais quoi Sacre bleu! Laissez-faire Notre Dame Faux Pas Depardieu Bourgeoisie Fetchez le vache Baton Rouge Voulez-vous couchez avec The Double-Double-Rotating-P!
(Band forms the Double Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”)
And now, please rise for the playing of the National Anthem.
(Band plays “The Star-Spangled Banner”)
Halftime
Crikey, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward, Band forms Australia to honor recently deceased Steve Irwin)
G’day, mates! Welcome to Crocodile Hunter: Prospect Avenue Edition! Today, we’ll be following one of the most gorgeous species in New Jersey: the Princeton Freshman. Notice how they often travel in packs to avoid predators, such as upperclassmen and squirrels [two awkward-looking packs divided by gender]. Oh, oh! We’ve got a rare opportunity to witness the unique mating rituals of these creatures. Notice the initial distance between the two sexes [Drum major and female band member approach, keeping a huge distance]. Ah, but now that everyone has discovered the sweet nectar found all over Prospect, the process accelerates [intoxicated dancing]! Oh this is just amazing! Notice, though, that the female quickly abandons her would-be mate for an older specimen [girl walks off with someone sporting a popped collar and sunglasses]. Too bad…. Ah, but we’re now getting a chance to see this freshman mark his territory [pretend to throw up on the field]! Aren’t these just amazing animals? What a BEAUTY! Honoring conservationist Steve Irwin, the Band forms Australia and plays “Welcome to the Jungle”
(Band forms Australia and plays “Welcome to the Jungle”, Band forms a jail cell)
So, we had a real “dynamite” Lafayette joke for you, but it never got off the ground! We never received… clearance… just like that plane… last month… when a Lafayette student brought dynamite on a plane! No, seriously. This actually happened. Check the papers from August 25th. I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t find any of the OTHER things he had. Like… snakes. Or… snakes… with hair gel. Or… snakes… with DYNAMITE! But enough is enough. I’ve had it with this joke. Maybe we’ll try it again in ten years, when the moron gets out of jail. Saluting this student’s new location, the Band plays “Jailhouse Rock”
(Band forms jail window with bars and plays “Jailhouse Rock”)
Get off the field, Band. Do as I say, and you live.
September 23nd, 2006
Princeton wins 26-14
Pregame
Fire in the hole! It’s the Princeton University Band!
(Cannon)
So we noticed the Lafayette Band isn’t here. Now isn’t THAT strange… a bunch of Frenchmen not showing up to a competition of strength? I wonder where they are…
- Hiding behind the Maginot Line?
- Going on strike?
- Invading Russia in winter?
- Doping up for the next Tour De France?
- Keeping the peace in Lebanon? Oh wait…
- Invading the moon… in winter?
Saluting our Franco-American friends, the Band plays the French national anthem.
(Band forms a lower-case ‘l’ and plays “La Marseilles”)
And now: Ooh la la Coup d’etat Cul de sac Je ne sais quoi Sacre bleu! Laissez-faire Notre Dame Faux Pas Depardieu Bourgeoisie Fetchez le vache Baton Rouge Voulez-vous couchez avec The Double-Double-Rotating-P!
(Band forms the Double Double Rotating P and plays “Going Back”)
And now, please rise for the playing of the National Anthem.
(Band plays “The Star-Spangled Banner”)
Halftime
Crikey, it’s the Princeton University Band!
(Princeton Forward, Band forms Australia to honor recently deceased Steve Irwin)
G’day, mates! Welcome to Crocodile Hunter: Prospect Avenue Edition! Today, we’ll be following one of the most gorgeous species in New Jersey: the Princeton Freshman. Notice how they often travel in packs to avoid predators, such as upperclassmen and squirrels [two awkward-looking packs divided by gender]. Oh, oh! We’ve got a rare opportunity to witness the unique mating rituals of these creatures. Notice the initial distance between the two sexes [Drum major and female band member approach, keeping a huge distance]. Ah, but now that everyone has discovered the sweet nectar found all over Prospect, the process accelerates [intoxicated dancing]! Oh this is just amazing! Notice, though, that the female quickly abandons her would-be mate for an older specimen [girl walks off with someone sporting a popped collar and sunglasses]. Too bad…. Ah, but we’re now getting a chance to see this freshman mark his territory [pretend to throw up on the field]! Aren’t these just amazing animals? What a BEAUTY! Honoring conservationist Steve Irwin, the Band forms Australia and plays “Welcome to the Jungle”
(Band forms Australia and plays “Welcome to the Jungle”, Band forms a jail cell)
So, we had a real “dynamite” Lafayette joke for you, but it never got off the ground! We never received… clearance… just like that plane… last month… when a Lafayette student brought dynamite on a plane! No, seriously. This actually happened. Check the papers from August 25th. I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t find any of the OTHER things he had. Like… snakes. Or… snakes… with hair gel. Or… snakes… with DYNAMITE! But enough is enough. I’ve had it with this joke. Maybe we’ll try it again in ten years, when the moron gets out of jail. Saluting this student’s new location, the Band plays “Jailhouse Rock”
(Band forms jail window with bars and plays “Jailhouse Rock”)
Get off the field, Band. Do as I say, and you live.
