PRINCETON UNIVERSITY BAND
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Lafayette 2007

Princeton at Lafayette
​September 22nd, 2007
Princeton wins 20-14


Pregame
The band was unable to perform a pregame show.

Halftime
Marie-Joseph-Paul-Yves-Roch-Gilbert du Motier Lafayette, it’s the Princeton University Band!

[Princeton Forward]

Everybody knows about O.J. Simpson being arrested recently in connection with an armed robbery case. But what very few people know is that this arrest is just the tip of an iceberg of nefarious deeds. Here are a few of the things he’s been up to while out of the public eye:
  • Brutally murdering (pause 2 seconds) the speed limit!
  • Tearing the tags off of his pillows
  • Attempting to return an unmatched glove without a receipt
  • Illegally downloading Naked Gun 33 1/3
  • Plagiarizing his book “If I did it” from an episode of Law and Order
  • Providing life coaching to Scott Peterson
  • Counting 2 tomatoes as a single item in the express lane at Shop-Rite
  • Running an illegal hamster-fighting ring
  • Selling multiple fake copies of his Heisman Trophy on E-Bay

Forming a more convincing Heisman trophy than the ones O.J. has been selling, the band wishes him the best of luck in his upcoming trial and plays “Jailhouse Rock.”

[Band forms Heisman trophy and plays “Jailhouse Rock”]

The Band would like to join with Lafayette University in celebrating the 250th anniversary of the Marquis de Lafayette’s birth. Everyone knows about his involvement in the French and American revolutions, but we thought we’d take a moment to point out some of his less-well-known accomplishments.
  • He attempted to feed the Continental Army exclusively on foie gras, escargot and frog legs.
  • He brutally knocked off his wife, Nichole Brown Simpson
  • He is the only person in history to retreat from a French army twice
  • He was legally married to George Washington
  • He invented french toast and french fries. Of course, he just called them “toast” and “fries”
  • He crossed the Delaware in a boat made entirely of Brie
  • He had triple citizenship in France, the United States and Gondor

Saluting our favorite expatriate, the band forms the French flag and plays “Carry On My Wayward Son.”

[Band forms french flag and plays “Carry On”]

​Run away Band, it’s the zombie Marie-Joseph-Paul-Yves-Roch-Gilbert du Motier Lafayette, and he’s angry!

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Princeton, NJ 08544
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Princeton University
​This organization is open to all Princeton University students interested in supporting our organization’s mission, regardless of identity, such as race, sex, ethnicity, national origin, or other protected characteristics.
  • About
    • History
    • Scramble Bands
    • Current Officers
    • Constitution >
      • Office Descriptions
      • Ivy Bands Agreement
  • Home
  • Schedule
  • Media
    • Shows
    • Music
    • Lyrics
  • Blog
  • Merchandise
  • Contact
    • Joining the Band
    • Current Officers
  • Alumni